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[SarahT]

Hi Dorothy

Forgive me if you have answered this before. I know you are extremely sensitive to medications,  but have you ever had the opportunity to speak to a professional as to how you are ( understandably) feeling and all that you are going through?
I have had ridiculously stressful year, both with health and other matters and have just begun a talking therapy with a counsellor. It does seem to help me talking through things with an ' outsider ' someone who is away from my day to day life. I just feel it may be an option to consider which you may benefit from.
But do keep posting on here, whenever you need to, some can offer practical suggestions,  but even if we can't all know how to help, so  know that people are hearing you x

[CLKD]

When your partner is more available is your mood better?  How do you spend your time together?  Do U have bird feeders close by to watch the antics, would your OH be willing to refill regularly?

I do cross word puzzles: watch a lot of TV: read .......... DH loves jigsaw puzzles but I find them a great big yawn  . 

What do you like on TV?   Music? 

[Dorothy Gale]

Hi Sarah

Thank you for your reply x

It's exactly what I've been thinking of doing......

It's just finding the right counsellor....I'd only go private as NHS is too long a list and I've always gone private for counselling in the past.

My past counsellor was absolutely amazing but unfortunately no longer practicing.

It's so hard to find that connection of someone who really gets you and knows exactly how to help....

I think I've put it off for so long as finding the right one seemed too difficult....after having had the right one before.

Where did you find yours?

Thanks for being there. I appreciate  it sooooo much x

[Dorothy Gale]

When your partner is more available is your mood better?  How do you spend your time together?  Do U have bird feeders close by to watch the antics, would your OH be willing to refill regularly?

I do cross word puzzles: watch a lot of TV: read .......... DH loves jigsaw puzzles but I find them a great big yawn  . 

What do you like on TV?   Music?

My mood is pretty much the same if he's here or not. He's very active so even when he is home, he's busy out mowing or helping in the community or doing shopping etc....he has alot to do.....because of my M.E I struggle to do much that requires any mental or physical activity...even watching telly is incredibly depleting of my energies...and leaves ne exhausted. Even typing on here is exhausting...

I mainly listen to LBC or podcasts on my smart speaker.

Since perimenopause my joy has gone. I suddenly realised today that I never play music anymore. Before all this, I had music on ALL the time. Now I can't bear it. I don't know why? I used to sing. I don't anymore. Its like all joy has gone from me. I'm not the same girl.....its so sad.

We are fortunate to live on the edge of a nature reserve and woodland so I see deer, squirrels, birds....I'm blessed in that respect xxx

[SarahT]

Hi Dorothy,
I have gone  to counselling via the NHS, they did a sort of triage after a couple of weeks but it has taken 5 months to get to the actual sessions.only runs for six sessions too. Not moaning, NHS is so stretched.

I am wondering if anyone in the  ME community ( forum?) Knows of a counsellor that works with ME sufferers. It would seem to make sense as I suspect the ME has such a bearing on other health issues. It is helping me to know it's ok not to feel ok sometimes if that makes sense.

I think many women on here can associate the feelings of losing joy in life. Whilst I am improving in some aspects, I am no way near the happy person I was a couple of years back. I think it's hard when you seem to get a little better with a symptom, then wham, something else muscles in to bring you back down again. I think I have learned to move my goalposts... I can't have very good days right now, so settle for the ok days. I don't  know if this is right or wrong but I have to try.  Acceptance of how we are in this given time is hard.

Why not try slowly to have some background music?.a new radio station that covers chat and discussions with a little music maybe? Nothing too taxing as I understand the physical and mental fatigue.  I get my peace from being near nature too. Our bird feeders give so much enjoyment, we too are lucky to live rural and have the privilege of seeing wildlife around.
Take care x

[CLKD]

Nature heals.  It's there.  It doesn't take any effort. 

When severely depressed in the 1990s it was Terry Wogan and Jimmy Young that brought me back from the brink.  I would wake very early with a bad cortisol rush that left me terrified; I would dress, then sit.  Staring at the lounge walls.  I was unable to eat, focus, walk the dog  .  After a few weeks of appropriate medication I realised that I was smiling at things that Terry was suggesting: keeping a pet stone for example.  As if.

Personally if I knew that I couldn't get out of bed to enjoy 'stuff' I would be at a loss.  During those depressive years I couldn't watch TV, read a magazine or follow a story line in a book. 

  both.

[Dorothy Gale]

SarahT  I'm glad you managed to get some counselling via the NHS and glad it's helpful. I think the fact the wait it long and sessions limited is why I'd go private.

I am a member of a truly wonderful ME forum and have been for 15 years. No one has anyone to recommend or know but I will have look myself for counselling.

I'm glad you have access to nature too. It definitely is excellent for wellbeing. Nature and animals are my number 1 passion in life. Always have been. We moved to our dream home in the countryside last year and it's beautiful. My partner retired last year and it was always our plan to spend this chapter of our lives, his retirement, in the countryside.

CLKD

I'm sorry to learn how much you've struggled in life with depression etc. Thank you for sharing. May I ask what meds you took then that helped? So glad they did. Terry was a lovely man from what I recall from TV and radio. I don't know Jimmy Young.

I'm very used to being bedridden and unable to enjoy life. I got sick with M.E in 1992 and spent probably about 50% of the last 30 years bedbound with it. Doesn't make it anymore easier and now I don't even get any better days like I used to as the perimenopause (and getting covid in Feb) have rendered me totally incapacitated as it has done for many people with M.E. so I know I'm not alone.

Thank you both for being so kind. You've got me through some tough weeks lately and I can't thank you enough. Xxxx

[CLKD]

My first bout of depression was in 1988-ish.  It took 5 meds B4 I was able to tolerate an AD, as they made me so sick within 24 hours 

Each AD did me well in that they lasted 5-6 years without my brain pooping out.  As well as Valium as necessary to ease panic attacks followed by Propranolol to help any anxiety surges, life began manageable. Early mornings until mid afternoon were the worst, I had to learn not to say 'yes' to anything in the evenings because by morning I would be floored by panic.   I now take Escitalopram 5mg in the morning and 10mg at night: should I wake for more than 3 mornings straight with my brain feeling low, I add 5mg at breakfast for at least 5 mornings.

Earlier today I thought of U as I wriggled both ears: middle finger with a curly movement followed by pulling the lobe downwards which helped clear the mugginess inside. 

Has your painful ear eased with the drops?

[Minusminnie]

It's just finding the right counsellor....I'd only go private as NHS is too long a list and I've always gone private for counselling in the past.

One way I found to find a counsellor was by looking on
psychologytoday.com where you can enter your location & several come up with their photos and type of counselling descriptions.

It does take a bit if time going through each individuals specialities to rule ones out but I think you quickly get a sense of the person that may be okay.

Many now offer online appointments which may suit you.

[Dorothy Gale]

It's just finding the right counsellor....I'd only go private as NHS is too long a list and I've always gone private for counselling in the past.

One way I found to find a counsellor was by looking on
psychologytoday.com where you can enter your location & several come up with their photos and type of counselling descriptions.

It does take a bit if time going through each individuals specialities to rule ones out but I think you quickly get a sense of the person that may be okay.

Many now offer online appointments which may suit you.

That's so kind of you. Thank you very much. I really appreciate you taking the time to help me  xx

[Dorothy Gale]

My first bout of depression was in 1988-ish.  It took 5 meds B4 I was able to tolerate an AD, as they made me so sick within 24 hours 

Each AD did me well in that they lasted 5-6 years without my brain pooping out.  As well as Valium as necessary to ease panic attacks followed by Propranolol to help any anxiety surges, life began manageable. Early mornings until mid afternoon were the worst, I had to learn not to say 'yes' to anything in the evenings because by morning I would be floored by panic.   I now take Escitalopram 5mg in the morning and 10mg at night: should I wake for more than 3 mornings straight with my brain feeling low, I add 5mg at breakfast for at least 5 mornings.

Earlier today I thought of U as I wriggled both ears: middle finger with a curly movement followed by pulling the lobe downwards which helped clear the mugginess inside. 

Has your painful ear eased with the drops?

Thank you so much for sharing your life story a little and the medications. So much suffering...its kind of you to tell me your experience of life....and that somehow you got through the difficult years you've had but continue to have struggles... finding ways to manage it. You're such a wonderful help to us on here. As many are xxx

My painful ear is now less painful but still definitely not right....but I shall see how it goes. Thank you x

[CLKD]

Tnx.  How's it been?  Mine feel clogged up until I give them that wriggle  several times a day.  Tinnitus background all the time.

[Dorothy Gale]

Hi

Thanks for asking.

It varies all through the day...sometimes it feels almost normal...then clogged and hurting.....hissing.....then not hurting just clogged......the hissing is pretty much constant....definitely something not right......probably just peri.

I am however gonna get it checked when I can deal with it. I'm just exhausted from it all!

How's your gum infection? X

[CLKD]

Same old.  Not as sore.  ABs have been difficult as I've reflux due to stopping the omeprazolol 

How R U spending your afternoon?

[Dorothy Gale]

Oh I see...sorry you struggle with that too 😏

Just the usual for me. In bed resting. Will probably have a browse on Amazon....Partner gone back to our home town to deal with more funeral arrangements.

What you up to?