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[Bandango42]

Hi all

Apologies in advance for the long post but I wonder if anyone can advise please on how to deal with, and sort, the mental health side of perimenopause?

Since I started my peri journey a year and a half ago, I have become intolerable to everyone and everything. The only thing now that gives me any kind of joy is being with my kids. I have 2 teenage boys who are (mostly) foul mouthed, offensive and disobedient but they do this lightheartedly and they have me in stitches on a regular basis. I love being a mum to teenagers, more than I ever did when they were little. They are good kids and I love them so much.

Other than being with them (I share custody with my ex 50/50), I just have no interest in being with anyone. I'm in a long distance relationship and it's causing real problems. My partner is very loving and misses me a lot, and thrives on texts and  facetime calls. I also miss him and love him but I'm finding I have no interest in calling or texting him. I can go days without contact and it doesn't bother me, I'm happy to carry on like this until the next time we see each other. I know this is not healthy at all.

I feel the same about my friends. I have 3 very close friends but find spending time with any of them really taxing. Everything they say bores me and I just can't wait to get away. Again, I know this is me.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that everyone and everything annoys me. I feel somewhat dead inside, I don't seem to feel any emotion other than a low level sadness and sometimes rage. All other physical symptoms have been sorted by hrt, and I've just hoped that this would get better with time, but it's seems not. If anything it's getting worse.

What is the next step here? An AD? They are renowned for deadening feelings so I'm scared they'll make me worse.

I don't want to be like this. I don't want to lose my relationship or friends but I'm tired of putting a face on or being told I'm 'in a mood' all the time 😔

Can anyone relate? Thanks for reading x

[CLKD]

'they are renowned ...... '  I've never had that effect with any of the ADs that I have been prescribed since 1988.  Also, some are designed to slow the brain down so that it can rest and recover from depression. 

MayB making an appt with the Nurse Practitioner at your Surgery is your 1st step?  taking a list of your symptoms to discuss.

As for a long-term relationship ..... it will either thrive or not.  Sometimes it's easier to be 'loving' when apart as it doesn't take any effort.  I survived 3 years of intermittent months of my boyfriend being away  , we eventually married. I wouldn't do it again for any1!

A full blood count to include thyroid function and VitD levels should B considered to, we shouldn't blame everything on hormones.

[pepperminty]

Hi,

the mental health side of peri sometimes takes a higher dose of HRT to help. Try mindfullness and meditation. Look at                           
        https://www.balance-menopause.com/menopause-library/my-story-mental-health-hrt-and-me/

Antidepressants are for clinical depression and HRT is the first line for menopausal mental health.  Look into getting therapy, so you can talk through your feelings. Just talking honestly to soemone can really help.

PMx