I knew I was going through perimenopause myself when it all started aged 36. It has taken time to register. I am just upset (not depressed) and genuinely gutted at the how life takes these unexpected turns.
It is just hard watching everyone around me with kids when I know I will not have that.
Although there is so much more awareness regarding menopause on media etc it stares me in the face everywhere I look. Going through it prematurely, sometimes I just don't want to think about what it truly means for me. On the flip side the awareness helps me accept the reality. Like I said earlier, its not the symptoms that annoy me, its just the bigger picture for a single, childless person that it affects.
Dating is more difficult because guys typically want to date younger women to maximise their chances of having kids. The dating pool gets smaller and smaller by the day.
If I had a partner maybe it would be easier knowing I have someone I can call my own, but being single is making it an even lonlier an experience. On the flip side if I did have a partner, I would have felt awful for being responsible for not being able to conceive if my partner desperately wanted kids. Maybe meeting someone in the future who knows the situation would feel easier because they would know the situation they were getting involved in from day 1.
I just have to keep going, some people have much bigger problems in life. I am still grateful for everything I have. I cannot change things that I simply don't have any control over.
Thank you for asking, it is really appreciated.