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[Losingtheplot]

Hey Sarah

It went really well thanks. Like you though I am on a 6 -8 month waiting list! The lady who did the assessment has referred me for high intense CBT.
Ahh I really hope your increased HRT helps you through your difficult time. I  can tell you are trying different options to help your situation and I honestly hope you find a solution soon. I hope your day today hasnt been too bad.
Thank you hunni I like to share my history with mental illness as I suffered for years thinking I was abnormal, weak, a freak and its easy to forget that mental health is a illness and feel like your the only one that suffers it. Your so right the Mind does need treatment but people forget that.
I do hope my posts help other people. I know your posts help me and the encouragement too. Sometimes we have to let it all out. I can feel things improving like everyone on here said they would lets hope it continues xxxxx I  really hope the rest of your cycle passes with as little symptoms as possible. You are almost there xxxx

[Losingtheplot]

Good luck with your GP appointment today, if you are post meno a way to avoid progesterone is with tibolone, it has a positive effect on mood, unlike any other HRT I've tried! I'd encourage you to ask about it.

My son is a doctor (not for menopause though) and endorsed my use of tibolone as a very standard treatment with fewer side effects.

I couldn't agree more, but either few others have tried it, or those on it don't frequent this forum and can just get on with life!

Can I get it again after I'm 54? I hope so, it's bound up in arbitrary rules like numerical age that are given without any explanation.

Hey hunni
Thank you hunni.
I have no definite answer as to whether I am post meno as I dont bleed on my contraceptive implant and haven't had bleeds on either of the HRT I am on so that is what I am going off. Plus my pelvic vaginal scan showed ovaries shrunk right down and sonographer indicated thats a good sign that I am more than likely meno.
I am just feeling angry, irritable and fed up today. Everything is a huge effort for me pretty much everyday. The mornings are the worst. Panic attacks and the awful early morning anixety isnt as crippling in one respect as it was.  But its still there with racing thoughts in my mind. I am not contemplating doing anything to myself but just looking back at how much my life has been plagued by mental illness and feel sick and tired of it all. I could kick myself for coming off Ads last July! What the hell was I thinking. Now with peri meno or meno or what ever the hell I am the anxiety is worst its ever been. I just want to feel better again. 12 days on Fluoxetine that has helped me in the past but don't know yet if its helping again.  At my Gp appointment I will ask about taking utrogestan vaginally and the amount I need to insert this way however I feel my GP won't know the answer. She didn't even want me to make a follow up appointment in 3 months for this HRT as she hoped I would have meno specialist appointment by then. I have to wait till atleast Sept /Oct before I will be seen. Physical symptoms such as hot intense chest burning has stopped, brain fog to a degree. I just can't decide what to do. Maybe carry on with HRT until I see meno specialist hoping my anxiety improves. Out of interest how is Tibolone administered? Sorry for long negative post just not feeling very positive today

[Flossieteacake]

So sorry to hear today is a bad day. I would say 12 days is still quite early to know if the fluoxetine is going to help. If you have clinical depression then I feel they do take longer to help. Along with your hormones not being stable it is bound to have an affect on your mood. Please do not blame yourself for stopping the AD's. So many people have done that thinking they no longer need them. You are really not the only one who has done this and now you are back on them and will feel the benefit.

It is okay to feel angry. You have a lot to be angry about. I know how hard it is to wait to see a meno specialist and I really hope you do not have too long to wait.

Having the pysical symptoms improve is fantastic. It can take time for HRT to help with anxiety. That seems to be one of the last symptoms to improve. I know that is not easy to hear but I just wanted you to know that so you have some hope.

[SarahT]

Hi sweetie... Well. Yep I certainly know how bloody hard some days are.

Trying hard to stay positive when every day seems to swap one bloody symptom for another and it just seems endless.

I agree so much with Flossie. It's ok to feel the entire host of emotions you do. Because this whole hormonal stuff is Crap and unfair. I am indeed one of those who stopped Ad's thinking the hrt could cover all the mood side too...hmm. Not such a good idea in retrospect maybe.

Yesterday, I wrote a list of positive things that I have felt peri wise.. No bleeds (mostly) due to mirena coil was my number one. I found seven things to be positive about.. And your burning chest pain be relieved is good. Like you, I have so much negative and ever changing stuff going on, so it really helped me to write down some improvements so I could plainly see some good stuff for a change!

You always always boost me when I need it,  whilst today is another bad one, your previous posts have shown some real improvements and the changes in medication you are making show real strength and determination.

Sending love and hugs. Am with you in spirit xx😍

[Losingtheplot]

So sorry to hear today is a bad day. I would say 12 days is still quite early to know if the fluoxetine is going to help. If you have clinical depression then I feel they do take longer to help. Along with your hormones not being stable it is bound to have an affect on your mood. Please do not blame yourself for stopping the AD's. So many people have done that thinking they no longer need them. You are really not the only one who has done this and now you are back on them and will feel the benefit.

It is okay to feel angry. You have a lot to be angry about. I know how hard it is to wait to see a meno specialist and I really hope you do not have too long to wait.

Having the pysical symptoms improve is fantastic. It can take time for HRT to help with anxiety. That seems to be one of the last symptoms to improve. I know that is not easy to hear but I just wanted you to know that so you have some hope.

Thank you Flossie xxxx The problem is I don't know whether I do have depression although I do have a history of it. My symptoms are intense anxiety with lack of motivation as its gone on for so long. But I understand that Fluoxetine can help with anxiety too. It is different to depression as I find come an evening I am not as bad where with depression it was a black cloud the whole day.  I know I need to give Ads longer and if anything today is the 1st time in a few weeks ive felt anger and irritability. Its mainly been up and down with sadness and anxiety.

[Losingtheplot]

Hi sweetie... Well. Yep I certainly know how bloody hard some days are.

Trying hard to stay positive when every day seems to swap one bloody symptom for another and it just seems endless.

I agree so much with Flossie. It's ok to feel the entire host of emotions you do. Because this whole hormonal stuff is Crap and unfair. I am indeed one of those who stopped Ad's thinking the hrt could cover all the mood side too...hmm. Not such a good idea in retrospect maybe.

Yesterday, I wrote a list of positive things that I have felt peri wise.. No bleeds (mostly) due to mirena coil was my number one. I found seven things to be positive about.. And your burning chest pain be relieved is good. Like you, I have so much negative and ever changing stuff going on, so it really helped me to write down some improvements so I could plainly see some good stuff for a change!

You always always boost me when I need it,  whilst today is another bad one, your previous posts have shown some real improvements and the changes in medication you are making show real strength and determination.

Sending love and hugs. Am with you in spirit xx😍

Hey Sarah

Thank you I am just sick.of it all. And you know what your right I need to focus on what has improved!  What a good suggestion.
I have just spent most of today with the shakes and its just getting to me I guess
 I have taken 2 anti anxiety tablets so hope they calm the shaking down. I have GP appointment soon and think she will tell me to stick.with Ads as only 12 days in but I really am fed up.as you can read.
Thank you for the tips I will write down positives as that's the frame of mind I need and to see how far I have come.

Take care hunni big love as always xx

[Losingtheplot]

Well had my Gp appointment mentioned gastric and nausea issues and the dark thoughts I had but GP thinks Ads will be causing these issues as I did literally start taking them at the same time as Utrogestan.
So Ive been given some antacid tabilets to take before I take my Ads to protect my stomach.
And to continue on HRT regime I am on. I forgot to mention ovestin to my GP. I should of made bullet points! Hopefully I can get ovestin on repeat can feel its helping higher up for sure but further down still got burning.
Has only been 2 weeks of nightly use. So think I will continue nightly instead of twice weekly after loaded dose

[Flossieteacake]

Well had my Gp appointment mentioned gastric and nausea issues and the dark thoughts I had but GP thinks Ads will be causing these issues as I did literally start taking them at the same time as Utrogestan.
So Ive been given some antacid tabilets to take before I take my Ads to protect my stomach.
And to continue on HRT regime I am on. I forgot to mention ovestin to my GP. I should of made bullet points! Hopefully I can get ovestin on repeat can feel its helping higher up for sure but further down still got burning.
Has only been 2 weeks of nightly use. So think I will continue nightly instead of twice weekly after loaded dose

It is good the GP listened to you. I have heard fluoxetine can cause upset stomachs. Hopefully once your body is used to them then this will settle.

Two weeks is still very early for Ovestin so do not feel disheartened if you still have symptoms. Perhaps you can send your GP a message asking for it to be on your repeat prescriptions rather then to make another appointment.

[Losingtheplot]

Hi Flossie
Yes I remember in past when restarting Fluoxetine it causes nausea, diarrhoea and upset tummy. Why do medicines have side effects! My GP is lovely and I will ring the surgery tomorrow to get a message to her about repeat ovestin.
She was also very supportive of me taking time off work and said I had done the right thing which was nice to hear

[Flossieteacake]

Hi Flossie
Yes I remember in past when restarting Fluoxetine it causes nausea, diarrhoea and upset tummy. Why do medicines have side effects! My GP is lovely and I will ring the surgery tomorrow to get a message to her about repeat ovestin.
She was also very supportive of me taking time off work and said I had done the right thing which was nice to hear

How lovely to hear you have an understanding GP. That makes a world of difference. Yes, it is annoying that medications have so many side effects. Hopefully they will wear off soon for you.

[Losingtheplot]

Thanks Flossie here's hoping. I will get there everyday is a step closer

[Losingtheplot]

Hi Losingtheplot,

Tibolone is one tablet a day, 2.5mg and the only effect it had on my mood was positive. The side effects were swollen ankles, increased appetite (incuding appetite for life in general) and extra energy. I didn't like swollen ankles, but they won't make me top myself, lol.

I want tibolone back ASAP. It goes well with fluoxetine too which is my savior and has been for many years. Hormones have disrupted my mental health for decades and fluoxetine helps massively every time I've been allowed it.

In the meanwhile, I'm suffering again on the third day of the progesterone part and this is the last time I'm taking MPA. I halved my dose to 5mg because I needed time off work last month on 10mg, I was genuinely very ill feeling, like a flu, not a cold, temperature disturbance, fatigue, brain fog, too wobbly on my feet to go further than the bathroom, nausea but no vomiting this time thanks to citirizine.

After this cycle I'm quitting this version of HRT, while I'm really enjoying my temperature control, I've not had control of that since my natural periods stopped over two years ago, it is too much to have to spend half my life unable to function just so I can have two good weeks a month, after my period and the MPA finish. While I see those two weeks are a bit better than before, the payback is far too harsh to make it worthwhile, I'd be a suicide risk every month, how is that better?

I read this morning about how the stats have been misrepresented over the years leading to confusion, how 41% of UK universities teaching medicine don't have any mandatory menopause training for those new young doctors, it's largely ignored and how menopause is the time when a woman is most likely to take her own life. Not to mention how MPA is associated with breast cancer as an endocrine disruptor like many pollutants from dodgy plastic wraps on food to diesel fumes in your lungs and it doesn't even reduce your risk of cancer overall, at best it switches endo cancer to breast cancer.

I'm not convinced they have a clue what they are doing, every prediction they make turns out to be as far from the truth as can be.

Periods don't return after over 12 months naturally period free - wrong
Tibolone won't make you bleed - wrong
Evorel Conti is entirely bioidentical - wrong
Tibolone is safer for you, we can't give you normal HRT with high BP - opposite of the truth
Progesterones make you feel all warm and cosy - like Hell is meant to be warm and cosy perhaps?

Hey hunni
I just don't know what stage I am at with peri or meno just don't want to risk disturbing my periods as on contraceptive implant I don't bleed and can't deal with getting that out to potentially suffer heavy bleeds. I'm not bleeding in this HRT either but medically no one I feel will take this as meaning I am post. My joint pain has improved loads so not sure if thats HRT or vits I am taking. Hot flushes, brain fog and anxiety settling although not sure if my body getting oestrogen has improved things the latter maybe due to Fluoxetine. I feel  I can now atleast function and appetite coming back.
Will try months 2 and 3 on Utrogestan then decide if it agrees with me or not. Things are settling and I just want a quality of life like most people. I don't want to stop HRT as couldn't bear for symptoms to return. Guess have to play it by ear till my meno specialist appointment. Let's see what next use of Utrogestan brings as I am now on Fluoxetine may counter any suicide feelings utro may bring on. I know your situation is awful and I hope you manage to get Tibolone prescribed again xxx

[Losingtheplot]

Hey hunni
Thanks I am getting there slowly but surely. As for the progestrone I have asked my Gp about the contraceptive implant which I believe is Nexplanon being used as the progestrone part of HRT and she didnt know the answer so just prescribed progesterone! I have had a look online and seems not enough evidence to show the implant offers sufficient protection. I have planned on asking the meno specialist about this. I am so sorry your having an awful time at the min. Its such a bloody minefield this HRT malarkey.
I wish you luck in your appointment and hope you get sorted.
As for your husband he needs to realise this is out of your control big hugs xxx