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[Losingtheplot]

Hi Sweetie,

Am so sorry you are having a bad time, that you are in a bad dip of your mood. It's so hard when I can see you have pulled yourself up before, and had some positive days only to crash.

For what its worth,I get it and I do understand.

You are so lovely at supporting others and giving good advice. I am trying to (very very reluctantly)  accept all that is going on with what feels to be like a devastating impact of peri. I have learnt I just cannot physically do many normal day to day tasks.

Maybe, even in a packed busy work and home life you can delegate some tasks to your husband and son. Also, maybe, your son, in attempting to sort a problem himself was doing his best to spare you, to be indpendent.   Could this be seen as a good thing?

Understand you avoiding office politics. This is good! You have enough to cope with in your own physical and mental health. I think we'll done for walking away from that one.

I have an assessment for therapy next week. I just feel completely overwhelmed with peri symptoms and generally unable to cope with much of normal life in a way. It's too big a change in all my life. Could something like this benefit you?

I get you feel like you want to walk away. And on the better days you KNOW that's not true. It's just days like these feel too much.

Just ten minutes or so  day just for -separate yourself to a spot in room on your own- you can help. To sit quietly, clear your mind, do you nails, but it gentle yoga, whatever. We can overburden ourselves in thinking we can juggle everything. And some days we can, some days we cant.

Remember to be kind to yourself. Life has altered whether we like it or not. Fingers crossed, we can all get a better stability and more up than down days.

Take care, xx

Good luck with your assessment hope it goes well. Keep us updated hunni xxxx

Thank you to each and everyone one of you for helping me today. I had me time this afternoon treated myself to some new make up and a nice massage. Then some nice family time with my son and hubby. I am feeling better than I was this morning and am learning to ride it out xx

[Flossieteacake]

So pleased to hear you had a nice treat. I think treating ourselves is so important when feeling low.

[Losingtheplot]

So pleased to hear you had a nice treat. I think treating ourselves is so important when feeling low.

Yes your so right. I am trying not to overwhelm myself with everything as my mind races all the time of what needs done etc and how I should beable to do it all!
One thing I found when I took Ads was that this used to calm down alot and help me relax.
Life just does feel so difficult at the min but I know I am not alone xxx

[Flossieteacake]

So pleased to hear you had a nice treat. I think treating ourselves is so important when feeling low.

Yes your so right. I am trying not to overwhelm myself with everything as my mind races all the time of what needs done etc and how I should beable to do it all!
One thing I found when I took Ads was that this used to calm down alot and help me relax.
Life just does feel so difficult at the min but I know I am not alone xxx

Thinking of all you need to do it bound to make you feel anxious and stressed. I know it does with me. I hope you can get an appointment with the DR soon to discuss taking ADs again. Sounds like it will help you a lot to just take the edge off.

[Losingtheplot]

So pleased to hear you had a nice treat. I think treating ourselves is so important when feeling low.

Yes your so right. I am trying not to overwhelm myself with everything as my mind races all the time of what needs done etc and how I should beable to do it all!
One thing I found when I took Ads was that this used to calm down alot and help me relax.
Life just does feel so difficult at the min but I know I am not alone xxx

Thinking of all you need to do it bound to make you feel anxious and stressed. I know it does with me. I hope you can get an appointment with the DR soon to discuss taking ADs again. Sounds like it will help you a lot to just take the edge off.

Thank you I just don't want to be in a situation where I may potentially end up v depressed and know from past takes a long time to get back to feeling where life is manageable again. If I think back properly Ive been like this since Jan of this year. I stopped Ads in July 2022 but also started suffering from a very painful shoulder so had quite abit to deal with. This shoulder has now ended up being a frozen shoulder! No amounts of physio helped and it got worse.
I hope I get an appointment soon although I may still have a packet of Ads in a drawer.

[Flossieteacake]

So pleased to hear you had a nice treat. I think treating ourselves is so important when feeling low.

Yes your so right. I am trying not to overwhelm myself with everything as my mind races all the time of what needs done etc and how I should beable to do it all!
One thing I found when I took Ads was that this used to calm down alot and help me relax.
Life just does feel so difficult at the min but I know I am not alone xxx

Thinking of all you need to do it bound to make you feel anxious and stressed. I know it does with me. I hope you can get an appointment with the DR soon to discuss taking ADs again. Sounds like it will help you a lot to just take the edge off.

Thank you I just don't want to be in a situation where I may potentially end up v depressed and know from past takes a long time to get back to feeling where life is manageable again. If I think back properly Ive been like this since Jan of this year. I stopped Ads in July 2022 but also started suffering from a very painful shoulder so had quite abit to deal with. This shoulder has now ended up being a frozen shoulder! No amounts of physio helped and it got worse.
I hope I get an appointment soon although I may still have a packet of Ads in a drawer.

I have heard a frozen shoulder is very painful and how horrible you have that to deal with. If ADs help then they are so worth taking. Anything is better then feeling depressed. It would be good if you do have some left so you can begin them right away.

[Losingtheplot]

So pleased to hear you had a nice treat. I think treating ourselves is so important when feeling low.

Yes your so right. I am trying not to overwhelm myself with everything as my mind races all the time of what needs done etc and how I should beable to do it all!
One thing I found when I took Ads was that this used to calm down alot and help me relax.
Life just does feel so difficult at the min but I know I am not alone xxx

Thinking of all you need to do it bound to make you feel anxious and stressed. I know it does with me. I hope you can get an appointment with the DR soon to discuss taking ADs again. Sounds like it will help you a lot to just take the edge off.

Thank you I just don't want to be in a situation where I may potentially end up v depressed and know from past takes a long time to get back to feeling where life is manageable again. If I think back properly Ive been like this since Jan of this year. I stopped Ads in July 2022 but also started suffering from a very painful shoulder so had quite abit to deal with. This shoulder has now ended up being a frozen shoulder! No amounts of physio helped and it got worse.
I hope I get an appointment soon although I may still have a packet of Ads in a drawer.

I have heard a frozen shoulder is very painful and how horrible you have that to deal with. If ADs help then they are so worth taking. Anything is better then feeling depressed. It would be good if you do have some left so you can begin them right away.

Hi the thing is its difficult to know if it is onset of depression which is the confusing part of it all. I don't feel depressed in the typical sense as I have in the past but maybe they will help lift my mood and stop it being all over the place. One day I can be feeling ok, the next negative thoughts and over whelmed then 3 days of feeling ok etc

[SarahT]

Hiya,
Am happy that yesterday ended on a good note for you. So pleased you made some time and treated yourself.

I do understand the feeling of being overwhelmed. And I think that's because a lot of us quite simply are. We have so much to cope with, all of normal work life, family life, general health problems and then to  throw it all in the mix, the final straw.... Pri\meno and all that that brings.

 I think we can all reach a point where we are almost full up with all the roles we have. And many are totally essential of course, work, caring for our loved ones. I find it hard to admit and accept that I have changed so much being hit with peri. I just cannot physically or mentally do some some things anymore. But am optimistic I will get a better stability and build things up again.

Can you bring yourself to let go of some of the smaller tasks in your day?  The non essentials of course. To ease some of the pressure you may be putting upon  yourself, as I think you have  said before you can do this to yourself?

I still think it is a good idea to make an appt with your g.p to discuss how you feel. Do make your notes beforehand, I am always going off at a tangent on appts. Ask your questions and tell them what an impact these feelings have on your life.

I was just wondering if there are some little changes it may be possible for you to make in your life, I am Crap at asking for help from my willing husband...I always think I should do everything as I have done before. But I have to accept help sometimes.

I do feel for you. It's a Crap time in your lives, but on my good days I remain optimistic. And I hope you do too.

Xx


 

[Losingtheplot]

Hiya,
Am happy that yesterday ended on a good note for you. So pleased you made some time and treated yourself.

I do understand the feeling of being overwhelmed. And I think that's because a lot of us quite simply are. We have so much to cope with, all of normal work life, family life, general health problems and then to  throw it all in the mix, the final straw.... Pri\meno and all that that brings.

 I think we can all reach a point where we are almost full up with all the roles we have. And many are totally essential of course, work, caring for our loved ones. I find it hard to admit and accept that I have changed so much being hit with peri. I just cannot physically or mentally do some some things anymore. But am optimistic I will get a better stability and build things up again.

Can you bring yourself to let go of some of the smaller tasks in your day?  The non essentials of course. To ease some of the pressure you may be putting upon  yourself, as I think you have  said before you can do this to yourself?

I still think it is a good idea to make an appt with your g.p to discuss how you feel. Do make your notes beforehand, I am always going off at a tangent on appts. Ask your questions and tell them what an impact these feelings have on your life.

I was just wondering if there are some little changes it may be possible for you to make in your life, I am Crap at asking for help from my willing husband...I always think I should do everything as I have done before. But I have to accept help sometimes.

I do feel for you. It's a Crap time in your lives, but on my good days I remain optimistic. And I hope you do too.

Xx

I am trying to realise that certain things can wait like you suggest hunni not every thing needs to get done asap so thank u for this as funnily enough I thought about this myself just today.

Its very tiring having all these thoughts whirring around in my head. Hubby did the gardening today which he takes on as his job and takes a fair bit of time.  I did some ironing and what else I felt I could manage then left rest.

Ahh you do good to ask for help and I am learning to aswell.

I miss my younger body but feel its gone and I have been trying to come to terms with that. Maybe if aches and pains were under control I would better.  I feel about 90 years old with constant joint pain. Exercise is a de stress for me but too much at this moment in time. Onwards and upwards and will ring GP for an appointment tomorrow.


Thanks again xxx

[Katherine]

Hi losingtheplot, I’ve not been on here a few days but just found your thread, and just wanted to say, I know how you feel. I have days where everything just feels too much and I even sometimes feel like I wish I didn’t have anyone else to take care of but then a few days later I’m so glad they are there and I start to feel ok again. There is a saying ‘a thoughtie is not a naughty’; when we are mentally exhausted we can have strange thoughts, it’s just what happens but it’s just due to exhaustion and not how you really feel. I think it’s just a sign that you need to really do everything you can to take care of yourself and let others know how you feel so they can help you too. I really think we all feel this way sometimes. Just know you will get through this time and you are strong: you are on here, working on this, finding ways to figure things out, finding your way through. Keep posting, we are here for you. Xxxx

[Losingtheplot]

Hi losingtheplot, I’ve not been on here a few days but just found your thread, and just wanted to say, I know how you feel. I have days where everything just feels too much and I even sometimes feel like I wish I didn’t have anyone else to take care of but then a few days later I’m so glad they are there and I start to feel ok again. There is a saying ‘a thoughtie is not a naughty’; when we are mentally exhausted we can have strange thoughts, it’s just what happens but it’s just due to exhaustion and not how you really feel. I think it’s just a sign that you need to really do everything you can to take care of yourself and let others know how you feel so they can help you too. I really think we all feel this way sometimes. Just know you will get through this time and you are strong: you are on here, working on this, finding ways to figure things out, finding your way through. Keep posting, we are here for you. Xxxx

Thank u Katherine your reply made me cry as your so right. I do feel mentally drained by all the ups & downs and an emotional wreck most days. But I love my family and have an almost teen son who needs my support but I have so much happening to me last few years this overwhelms me.

I tell him to lean on his dad for things too. He prefers to come to me though.

This means alot to know you are all here to listen and offer advice  same goes right back at you. The part that scares me though is when I have suicidal thoughts  as I sincerely hope it never gets to that ever. The thoughts aren't there all the time but are like a escape route for me and this morning the fight or flight thoughts were on suicide as a release.  So I feel I must go back on Ads for this reason albeit it be a low dose to start with.  The thoughts are more intense today and seem to be coming in waves and I've had Utrogestan for the 1st time last night. Connection possibly or would it take longer for a side effect like this? Still very earlier on the HRT regime and tying Ashwagandha to help me with stress/anxiety and like all meds/herb supplements takes time to work.  I just want more better days than not better days like we all do.  I am sorry you also have periods of feeling like I do hunni - its so bloody hard isn't it?

I am going to look at ways to de stress my mind and body as focus on that and I am going to look into CBT as I do feel I need coping strategies when my mind is overthinking!
 

[SarahT]

Katherine,

That was a perfect post you sent. Sums it all up. On the good days we know it will pass...but outhouse had days we just can't seem to fight through it all.
It's all about us learning and accepting, but I am still so angry and was we feel like this. I just hope it will get better. Today, a good day, I feel it can.

A thoughtie is inept a naughty....now that really does reassure me. Written that down, just as a prompt.

The understanding and support we all manage to give is on some days what keeps me going, along with a fab husband.
Thanks, take care xx

[SarahT]

Hiya losingtheplot,

Hey sweetie.
Sorry it is still so hard for you. Do make that drs appt.

A couple of weeks ago,in my worse part of my cycle, I was asking my terrified husband to just make it stop. And I had the most awful thoughts.
So like you I am seeking further help. I know those darkest thoughts are not what I want, and not the real me. As do you sweetie.

You are making some really positive changes, both medically, and in letting some things go, to look  after yourself. your son and husband are supporting you, and I always say, if we can't understand  what's going on how can they... All doing our best.

And it will get better. It will.

But just to everyone today who is finding it hard. It will be better. Xxxxx

[Losingtheplot]

Hiya losingtheplot,

Hey sweetie.
Sorry it is still so hard for you. Do make that drs appt.

A couple of weeks ago,in my worse part of my cycle, I was asking my terrified husband to just make it stop. And I had the most awful thoughts.
So like you I am seeking further help. I know those darkest thoughts are not what I want, and not the real me. As do you sweetie.

You are making some really positive changes, both medically, and in letting some things go, to look  after yourself. your son and husband are supporting you, and I always say, if we can't understand  what's going on how can they... All doing our best.

And it will get better. It will.

But just to everyone today who is finding it hard. It will be better. Xxxxx

Thank you my lovely!  Ahh big hugs I remember you posting about your awful time and how it affected you.  I hope you are over the worst of it at least for now    I am so sorry that you also suffer these dark thoughts it can be pretty scary and it is so frustrating that so many of us get like this.   
I will make that GP appointment!  And discuss starting Ad's on a low dosage to see how I go - I need some support and if that is Ad's then so be it - just to get me to be able to level my thinking alongside some CBT - I am trying to think positively I really am. And all of you on here are helping me think positively through the horrible negativeness that keeps creeping up.

Let me know how your assessment for therapy goes too xxxxxx big hugs as always 

[Katherine]

Hi losingtheplot, I’ve not been on here a few days but just found your thread, and just wanted to say, I know how you feel. I have days where everything just feels too much and I even sometimes feel like I wish I didn’t have anyone else to take care of but then a few days later I’m so glad they are there and I start to feel ok again. There is a saying ‘a thoughtie is not a naughty’; when we are mentally exhausted we can have strange thoughts, it’s just what happens but it’s just due to exhaustion and not how you really feel. I think it’s just a sign that you need to really do everything you can to take care of yourself and let others know how you feel so they can help you too. I really think we all feel this way sometimes. Just know you will get through this time and you are strong: you are on here, working on this, finding ways to figure things out, finding your way through. Keep posting, we are here for you. Xxxx

Thank u Katherine your reply made me cry as your so right. I do feel mentally drained by all the ups & downs and an emotional wreck most days. But I love my family and have an almost teen son who needs my support but I have so much happening to me last few years this overwhelms me.

I tell him to lean on his dad for things too. He prefers to come to me though.

This means alot to know you are all here to listen and offer advice  same goes right back at you. The part that scares me though is when I have suicidal thoughts  as I sincerely hope it never gets to that ever. The thoughts aren't there all the time but are like a escape route for me and this morning the fight or flight thoughts were on suicide as a release.  So I feel I must go back on Ads for this reason albeit it be a low dose to start with.  The thoughts are more intense today and seem to be coming in waves and I've had Utrogestan for the 1st time last night. Connection possibly or would it take longer for a side effect like this? Still very earlier on the HRT regime and tying Ashwagandha to help me with stress/anxiety and like all meds/herb supplements takes time to work.  I just want more better days than not better days like we all do.  I am sorry you also have periods of feeling like I do hunni - its so bloody hard isn't it?

I am going to look at ways to de stress my mind and body as focus on that and I am going to look into CBT as I do feel I need coping strategies when my mind is overthinking!
 

Hi lovely, I’m really glad my post helped you. I’m sorry to hear you are having suicidal thoughts, Again remember these are only thoughts, you’re not going to do anything because they will pass the same as distressing feelings always do, they are always temporary, so during this time it’s really important to really look after yourself and take steps to release as much pressure off yourself as you can.

 I feel like your son is old enough now to understand that his mum is feeling unwell and needs to rest and relax just like she would if she had flu. I think it is sensible to try ads if you think they will help and I think you would benefit from therapy too.

 I have had all of the feelings that you have had and so I can reassure you it will pass, but please take the steps to look after yourself, you must be the priority while you feel like this.

I think it’s unlikely to be caused by utrogestan as you were already feeling low, but I would monitor how you feel on it as you go along. I am your age and take 100mg 25 days a month and that is perfect for me, it does help with sleep, so I think you will benefit from it, you may need to adjust your dosage but just see how you go. Don’t worry because if you need to you can stop taking it or adjust your dosage.

I would keep a diary of how you feel and what you are taking each day and what you have been doing and you will see patterns of what makes you feel low and then You can adjust as necessary.

I hope all this helps, I’m sending you a big hug xxx