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[Losingtheplot]

I have literally woken this morning feel totally overwhelmed at my life so much so that that intense urge to want to run away from it all is there in a big big way!
Is this hormonal or is this just life getting to me? I  want just to have me to take care of and no one else. I could never leave my son and don't mind doing things for him but find it a struggle at the min. Due to working hours with me and hubby I feel I do the most on an evening sorting dogs and tea out. But this is life right? Just need to get on with it.  I guess I feel unappreciated too at times. I love my  hubby, son and cute dogs but feel so lonely at same time. I do have a lovely circle of close friends. Maybe its time for Ads all I know is my brain is thinking in a very negative way today and someones comment to me the other day about this as good as it gets has me now thinking I can't cope with years upon years of feeling like this  .
Ive no panic or palpitations just sadness today

[Flossieteacake]

Hi there. I really am sorry to hear how low you are feeling. It sounds like you have a lot on plus dealing with meno on top of all this is bound to have an effect on you.

It sounds like you may need to take a few deep breaths. You do not have to do everything at once and you will not always feel this way. It is understandable you feel you just want to have to take care of yourself. It is hard enough looking after ourselves sometimes without having to care for others.

I know many women on the forum have spoken about how difficult it is to work while going through meno so my heart goes out to you. It really is very challenging.

The person who said this is as good as it gets, is so wrong! Things will not always be this way. You are going through a difficult patch and it is perfectly fine to want to have time to yourself and to also want to feel appreciated.

I have found meno can feel so lonely. I think it is really positive you have made this post so we can all support you and let you know that you are not alone.

If you feel it may help to try an Ad then that is a good idea too. I know I could not mange without one myself.

How are you feeling now?

[Losingtheplot]

Hi there. I really am sorry to hear how low you are feeling. It sounds like you have a lot on plus dealing with meno on top of all this is bound to have an effect on you.

It sounds like you may need to take a few deep breaths. You do not have to do everything at once and you will not always feel this way. It is understandable you feel you just want to have to take care of yourself. It is hard enough looking after ourselves sometimes without having to care for others.

I know many women on the forum have spoken about how difficult it is to work while going through meno so my heart goes out to you. It really is very challenging.

The person who said this is as good as it gets, is so wrong! Things will not always be this way. You are going through a difficult patch and it is perfectly fine to want to have time to yourself and to also want to feel appreciated.

I have found meno can feel so lonely. I think it is really positive you have made this post so we can all support you and let you know that you are not alone.

If you feel it may help to try an Ad then that is a good idea too. I know I could not mange without one myself.

How are you feeling now?

Hi Flossieteacake

Thank you for replying! And your lovely words. I am just feeling very sad to be honest possibly sorry for myself. I didn't feel like this yesterday probably due to fact my chest and neck felt like it was on fire most of the day so was trying to deal with that !
I think I need a good cry and to let it all out. Life just feels so hard !
Then a stressful job on top just don't feel there is any pleasure in anything  at the moment.  I had a meltdown at work other day relating to an issue with my son where he didn't confide in me and tried dealing with the issue himself.

[Flossieteacake]

I can understand why you felt upset about your son not confiding in you. You love him and were worried about him. That is natural. Do you think it may help to have a bit of time off work on mental health grounds? I understand this may not be possible.

It does not sound to me like you are feeling sorry for yourself. It sounds like you are overwhelmed and going through a lot. Meno really messes with our hormones and this does have an effect on our mood.

[Losingtheplot]

I can understand why you felt upset about your son not confiding in you. You love him and were worried about him. That is natural. Do you think it may help to have a bit of time off work on mental health grounds? I understand this may not be possible.

It does not sound to me like you are feeling sorry for yourself. It sounds like you are overwhelmed and going through a lot. Meno really messes with our hormones and this does have an effect on our mood.

Ahh you are so right my son is my world and will always come first and I feel immense guilt that I am even having thoughts of leaving him by one method or another as he would be devastated! What kind of mother does that make me.even contemplating this  :'(a bad one it would destroy him.

My manager is very approachable and she did email me asking how things were with me lately and I understand this is due to another colleague raising issues about a mutual colleague  not pulling their weight putting.more pressure on us all but just don't have the energy to get into that saga!
So I haven't had time to reply about my meno struggles affecting work. Also part of the reason for this is due to a new job to be advertised in a few months in the department I want to apply for meaning a higher wage and I feel this will go against.me if I mention my meno struggles

The job I do now covers alot of work the new job would involve and my manager is of meno herself so I am sure would be understanding.

[DottyD68]

Hi Losingtheplot

I'm so sorry to hear you sounding so low. I am sure it is related to fluctuating hormones at a time in life when we have lots of pressures and responsibilities and overall it causes us to be overwhelmed.

Some days I feel really good. I'm positive, energetic and motivated and feel relieved that there is a glimpse of the old me, only to wake up the next day and wonder what the point of it all is. Its nuts. Havent a clue what happened overnight! On those lower days I just try and manage my own expectations and think it will pass and I will feel better, if not tomorrow then the day after. And it does pass. Its just a horrible rollercoaster that you don't feel in control of.

And I agree with you that it is an incredibly lonely time. I'm fortunate to have a wonderful husband, extended family (I don't have children) and lovely friends and even though I try and be as open as I can about how I'm feeling I don't think they truly understand. Even though they are all so supportive I feel I am letting them down as I'm not the confident, bubbly, fun person I was and I think they miss the old me too.

It sounds like you have an understanding boss and my view is to be as honest as you can about how you are feeling. At least this may explain any unusual behaviours you may (or may not) be displaying in work. I think it's better to communicate

The way I try and get through is by thinking this is all "temporary". One day and a time. I'm learning to be kind to myself and try to plan/manage myself / diary so I don't get overwhelmed by stuff. That definitely helps.

You aren't alone. Sending you best wishes and strength X

[Nas]

Jobs and meno area hideous combination i think.

It’s so so tough for women at this stage of life. Trying to juggle families, jobs, houses and hormones!

I hope you can find a way forward somehow. I can
empathise with the sad empty feeling, I experience that too and often wonder, is this my life now?

Chin up… and just take a day at a time. It’s the best way.

😊

[Losingtheplot]

Hi Losingtheplot

I'm so sorry to hear you sounding so low. I am sure it is related to fluctuating hormones at a time in life when we have lots of pressures and responsibilities and overall it causes us to be overwhelmed.

Some days I feel really good. I'm positive, energetic and motivated and feel relieved that there is a glimpse of the old me, only to wake up the next day and wonder what the point of it all is. Its nuts. Havent a clue what happened overnight! On those lower days I just try and manage my own expectations and think it will pass and I will feel better, if not tomorrow then the day after. And it does pass. Its just a horrible rollercoaster that you don't feel in control of.

And I agree with you that it is an incredibly lonely time. I'm fortunate to have a wonderful husband, extended family (I don't have children) and lovely friends and even though I try and be as open as I can about how I'm feeling I don't think they truly understand. Even though they are all so supportive I feel I am letting them down as I'm not the confident, bubbly, fun person I was and I think they miss the old me too.

It sounds like you have an understanding boss and my view is to be as honest as you can about how you are feeling. At least this may explain any unusual behaviours you may (or may not) be displaying in work. I think it's better to communicate

The way I try and get through is by thinking this is all "temporary". One day and a time. I'm learning to be kind to myself and try to plan/manage myself / diary so I don't get overwhelmed by stuff. That definitely helps.

You aren't alone. Sending you best wishes and strength X

Hi DottyD68

Ahh so sorry you also have these awful times. By you sharing this though you have helped me so thank you.
My boss is lovely and meno age herself so I do think she will be supportive.

I am being kind to myself today and having me time I deserve it.

Thank you for your advice too xxxx

[Losingtheplot]

Jobs and meno area hideous combination i think.

It’s so so tough for women at this stage of life. Trying to juggle families, jobs, houses and hormones!

I hope you can find a way forward somehow. I can
empathise with the sad empty feeling, I experience that too and often wonder, is this my life now?

Chin up… and just take a day at a time. It’s the best way.

😊

Thanks hunni and big hugs xxx

[SarahT]

Hi Sweetie,

Am so sorry you are having a bad time, that you are in a bad dip of your mood. It's so hard when I can see you have pulled yourself up before, and had some positive days only to crash.

For what its worth,I get it and I do understand.

You are so lovely at supporting others and giving good advice. I am trying to (very very reluctantly)  accept all that is going on with what feels to be like a devastating impact of peri. I have learnt I just cannot physically do many normal day to day tasks.

Maybe, even in a packed busy work and home life you can delegate some tasks to your husband and son. Also, maybe, your son, in attempting to sort a problem himself was doing his best to spare you, to be indpendent.   Could this be seen as a good thing?

Understand you avoiding office politics. This is good! You have enough to cope with in your own physical and mental health. I think we'll done for walking away from that one.

I have an assessment for therapy next week. I just feel completely overwhelmed with peri symptoms and generally unable to cope with much of normal life in a way. It's too big a change in all my life. Could something like this benefit you?

I get you feel like you want to walk away. And on the better days you KNOW that's not true. It's just days like these feel too much.

Just ten minutes or so  day just for -separate yourself to a spot in room on your own- you can help. To sit quietly, clear your mind, do you nails, but it gentle yoga, whatever. We can overburden ourselves in thinking we can juggle everything. And some days we can, some days we cant.

Remember to be kind to yourself. Life has altered whether we like it or not. Fingers crossed, we can all get a better stability and more up than down days.

Take care, xx

[Flossieteacake]

I can understand why you felt upset about your son not confiding in you. You love him and were worried about him. That is natural. Do you think it may help to have a bit of time off work on mental health grounds? I understand this may not be possible.

It does not sound to me like you are feeling sorry for yourself. It sounds like you are overwhelmed and going through a lot. Meno really messes with our hormones and this does have an effect on our mood.

Ahh you are so right my son is my world and will always come first and I feel immense guilt that I am even having thoughts of leaving him by one method or another as he would be devastated! What kind of mother does that make me.even contemplating this  :'(a bad one it would destroy him.

My manager is very approachable and she did email me asking how things were with me lately and I understand this is due to another colleague raising issues about a mutual colleague  not pulling their weight putting.more pressure on us all but just don't have the energy to get into that saga!
So I haven't had time to reply about my meno struggles affecting work. Also part of the reason for this is due to a new job to be advertised in a few months in the department I want to apply for meaning a higher wage and I feel this will go against.me if I mention my meno struggles

The job I do now covers alot of work the new job would involve and my manager is of meno herself so I am sure would be understanding.

Your thoughts do not make you a bad mother. What they make you is somebody who is very low. Please get the thought you are a bad mother right out of your head as it is clear how much you adore your son. We cannot help our thoughts. I think as you are having such thoughts it is important to tell your GP how you are feeling. It may even be helpful to have some counselling. Somebody impartial to talk to can be such a help.

[Losingtheplot]

Hi Sweetie,

Am so sorry you are having a bad time, that you are in a bad dip of your mood. It's so hard when I can see you have pulled yourself up before, and had some positive days only to crash.

For what its worth,I get it and I do understand.

You are so lovely at supporting others and giving good advice. I am trying to (very very reluctantly)  accept all that is going on with what feels to be like a devastating impact of peri. I have learnt I just cannot physically do many normal day to day tasks.

Maybe, even in a packed busy work and home life you can delegate some tasks to your husband and son. Also, maybe, your son, in attempting to sort a problem himself was doing his best to spare you, to be indpendent.   Could this be seen as a good thing?

Understand you avoiding office politics. This is good! You have enough to cope with in your own physical and mental health. I think we'll done for walking away from that one.

I have an assessment for therapy next week. I just feel completely overwhelmed with peri symptoms and generally unable to cope with much of normal life in a way. It's too big a change in all my life. Could something like this benefit you?

I get you feel like you want to walk away. And on the better days you KNOW that's not true. It's just days like these feel too much.

Just ten minutes or so  day just for -separate yourself to a spot in room on your own- you can help. To sit quietly, clear your mind, do you nails, but it gentle yoga, whatever. We can overburden ourselves in thinking we can juggle everything. And some days we can, some days we cant.

Remember to be kind to yourself. Life has altered whether we like it or not. Fingers crossed, we can all get a better stability and more up than down days.

Take care, xx

Thank u xxx This isn't the first time I  have felt like this but in past never even thought it to be meno related some of it could well be life getting on top of me too though.

My son is a very thoughtful kind boy and is only 12 and he told me how stressed he had been over the situation he was in and said he was a terrible son!  That's what got me  I told him I will always have time for him and he is an amazing son.

I have always been on hard on myself right from a young age and give too much of myself to people with sometimes very little back which I find hurtful. I am.getting better at saying No if I feel I can't take anymore on but then feel I am letting people down. 

I know you suffer very much the same sweetie and I am so grateful that you have posted
I just think life shouldn't be this bloody hard i get having ups and downs but with hormones thrown it too! Feel like an emotional wreck but tomorrow is another day.xxxx

[Losingtheplot]

I can understand why you felt upset about your son not confiding in you. You love him and were worried about him. That is natural. Do you think it may help to have a bit of time off work on mental health grounds? I understand this may not be possible.

It does not sound to me like you are feeling sorry for yourself. It sounds like you are overwhelmed and going through a lot. Meno really messes with our hormones and this does have an effect on our mood.

Ahh you are so right my son is my world and will always come first and I feel immense guilt that I am even having thoughts of leaving him by one method or another as he would be devastated! What kind of mother does that make me.even contemplating this  :'(a bad one it would destroy him.

My manager is very approachable and she did email me asking how things were with me lately and I understand this is due to another colleague raising issues about a mutual colleague  not pulling their weight putting.more pressure on us all but just don't have the energy to get into that saga!
So I haven't had time to reply about my meno struggles affecting work. Also part of the reason for this is due to a new job to be advertised in a few months in the department I want to apply for meaning a higher wage and I feel this will go against.me if I mention my meno struggles

The job I do now covers alot of work the new job would involve and my manager is of meno herself so I am sure would be understanding.

Your thoughts do not make you a bad mother. What they make you is somebody who is very low. Please get the thought you are a bad mother right out of your head as it is clear how much you adore your son. We cannot help our thoughts. I think as you are having such thoughts it is important to tell your GP how you are feeling. It may even be helpful to have some counselling. Somebody impartial to talk to can be such a help.

I feel I just have too much going on and that's making me feel low. I will book an appointment in with my GP and ask for counselling potentially and or Ads but I find counselling  has not really benefited me as I have a good group of friends I can speak too. I need to.stop dwelling on certain things and move forward I do try to do this.

My son knows I am always here for him and he confides in me more than his dad
Maybe once my HRT is right life.might start looking more enjoyable than it does currently

[SarahT]

Just to say counselling is a lot different than speaking with friends, amazing though friends are for us.

Sometimes an 'outsider'  can put a very different perspective on things. They can say things we may not want to hear,but  whilst we have a natural resistance to hearing something that can be quite near to the truth... Well it helps us see things in a different light.
Maybe some coping techniques.

Good for you starting to say No sometimes.  That's so positive.I am a victim of this And learning it too. We need to let go of being everyone's someone if that makes sense,obviously caring about those who matter so much to us. And that would include ourselves too sweetie.


 Counselling is not for everyone of course,  or Ad's but good to have options, and talking with your g.p is a great way to see what would suit you.


You son does sound amazing, he knows his mum is always there for him. Bless him for trying to do something his own way.

 It's a bad day but don't let go of the knowledge you are taking positive steops

Xx

[Losingtheplot]

Just to say counselling is a lot different than speaking with friends, amazing though friends are for us.

Sometimes an 'outsider'  can put a very different perspective on things. They can say things we may not want to hear,but  whilst we have a natural resistance to hearing something that can be quite near to the truth... Well it helps us see things in a different light.
Maybe some coping techniques.

Good for you starting to say No sometimes.  That's so positive.I am a victim of this And learning it too. We need to let go of being everyone's someone if that makes sense,obviously caring about those who matter so much to us. And that would include ourselves too sweetie.


 Counselling is not for everyone of course,  or Ad's but good to have options, and talking with your g.p is a great way to see what would suit you.


You son does sound amazing, he knows his mum is always there for him. Bless him for trying to do something his own way.

 It's a bad day but don't let go of the knowledge you are taking positive steops

Xx

Hey hunni the coping strategies would be very useful! I am very open to that. And with counselling I am not ruling it out. I did talking therapies a few years ago with telephone consultations and just found it very difficult. There didnt seem to be any structure from what I recall. I felt very uncomfortable and like there was long silences. Years previous to that when I was single I had some face to face counselling and that seemed better. Discussed issues that I had dealt with as a child, bullying, alcoholic dad and many more.

Its that internal voice in my head making me doubt myself but intensified due to bloody meno! As days gone on I am feeling better than before and all your lovely posts have played a part.

Thank you xxx