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[Peri2022]

Hello, does anyone else wake with a feeling of deep dread and gloom that then lifts after an hour or two? I’m not talking about morning anxiety - I used to wake with my racing heart in my throat before starting HRT - but rather a feeling that life is awful and the day is totally unmanageable. By 9am I’ve convinced myself that I need a new job, a new life and anti depressants, then by 11am I’m going about my day quite happily!

Generally HRT (37.5mcg Estradot) has had a really good effect on my mood and cognition but I can’t get over this awful morning dread. I try to keep my brain busy with breakfast, shower and podcast but only the passage of a few hours really helps. It’s scary and upsetting but also v annoying as I used to be a real morning person who liked to get up and go.

Do you get this and if so, how do you manage? Thanks in advance, this forum is such a lifeline.

[Perinowpost]

Hi Peri2022

Yes I had this (for about a year) after my mother died. It was a reactive depression to a major life event.

I’ve not had it again with menopause, but it’s how I know the difference between clinical depression and the negative symptoms of meno, which are very different.

It’s very unpleasant isn’t it? I’ve no easy answer for you I’m afraid, except to say I sympathise and I hope with time it will go.

The only other thing I could think of is a tweak in your hrt.

Wishing you well x

[vintagefiend]

i get this- so much that ii realised it had become totally normal for me. i'm on estradot too. i have been monkeying around with my estradot for well over a year- never really giving it a chance to settle. i had a reprieve of a couple weeks- around september which made me realise that this morning depression isnt me- it's something to do with the hrt. it was great- i couldnt believe i didnt feel depressed then messed about some more with the estradot and back to the shitty mornings!! i cannot remember whether i was on any estradot when i had the reprieve from crappy mornings- i came fully off it for a few days- or if i was on it i dont know how much i was on- i should have made a note. anyway- my plan now is to stay on any one dose of estradot for a very long time and see if that helps. it's something i need- i've had surgical meno- but its also caused me no end of problems. i'm currently on half a small patch so 25mcg!! tiny and obvs my oestrogen is v low but i'm convinced its the estradot thats doing this as i definitely had a brief respite from the feeling.

that said, i dont disagree with perinow in that it can also be a symptom of depression proper- i think ive experienced it in that form before too. but this time im convinced it's to do with the estradot. ive only been on this patch 2 weeks and the past couple of mornings ive woken and felt like i couldnt go on! i felt so dark. it's then lifted somewhat during the day- not fully, i must say but nothing like the mornings.

[vintagefiend]

actually that should read 12.5mcg!!

[Peri2022]

Thank you both for your replies. It’s so hard to work out a cause for this kind of feeling, isn’t it? I don’t think I’m clinically depressed because the doom definitely lifts as the day goes on, and otherwise I feel pretty good about my life. I was seriously depressed before starting HRT and thank God I don’t feel that all-consuming sense of horror anymore. It’s really just a morning thing.

Would still love to hear other’s’ experiences as well as any helpful ways of coping.

[Perinowpost]

Just a thought but have you considered switching from estradot to evorel. I’m on evorel and it’s really good, and I don’t get any side effects. That way you’ll still be getting the benefits of oestrogen, and it might just be the tweak you need x

[ToriiJ]

Yes i get this, however I have had depression on and off for many years but the mornings are definitely the worst. But when I’m going though a bad spell the morning dread doesn’t lift although for some reason I always feel better in the evening.

When I’m feeling ‘ok’ I still get the morning dread, just the thought of another day and thinking I can’t do this, then as the morning goes on it starts to lift and my day can turn out good.

HRT hasn’t helped at all, in fact it was getting worse the higher the dose I was on. I’ve recently in the last week decreased it significantly and starting to feel better ….. for now anyway.

I would also love to hear if anyone has any ideas to help with this.

[Stella2]

I also always found mornings the worst and used to wake up with the dread and all sorts of other symptoms. I had CBT due to anxiety and I was told to investigate the feeling and try to approach it rather than fight it or be afraid of it. That helped me, i would wake up with the dread and say to it 'good morning dread'. It sounds silly but it worked well and became less scary and eventually went away. Nowadays when it happens I do the same.

[ToriiJ]

I also always found mornings the worst and used to wake up with the dread and all sorts of other symptoms. I had CBT due to anxiety and I was told to investigate the feeling and try to approach it rather than fight it or be afraid of it. That helped me, i would wake up with the dread and say to it 'good morning dread'. It sounds silly but it worked well and became less scary and eventually went away. Nowadays when it happens I do the same.

I really like this idea. I’m going to try approaching it this way. Thanks Stella 

[Perinowpost]

Good idea Stella2, embrace it rather than resist it. I like it x

[HellsBells]

I have literally just started getting this and was wondering what was going on. I am usually a 'morning' person regardless of stresses etc. I have just had a diagnosis of osteoporosis (4 wks ago) and I have just started BHRT.

It's a horrible feeling just as you describe

[Losingtheplot]

Thank you both for your replies. It’s so hard to work out a cause for this kind of feeling, isn’t it? I don’t think I’m clinically depressed because the doom definitely lifts as the day goes on, and otherwise I feel pretty good about my life. I was seriously depressed before starting HRT and thank God I don’t feel that all-consuming sense of horror anymore. It’s really just a morning thing.

Would still love to hear other’s’ experiences as well as any helpful ways of coping.

Hi hunni

I also suffer this crippling anxiety you describe on a morning. So I totally emphasise. It gets so bad that I find myself breaking down in tears as the churning and fluttering getting unbearable. I was on Evorel sequi for 1.5 months but had to stop due to side effects. Its too early for me to say if this will.work but I've started taking Ashgawandha tablets from Holland and Barrett that apparently help with anxiety. Has only been a week so still waiting.for the results x

[CLKD]

Mine was so bad in the early hours that I would crawl out of bed, get dressed then sit. For hours.  Not daring to move!  The waking hormone: cortisol : can be the culprit.  Awful.

My GP prescribed propranolol to ease those early morning symptoms which really helped.  Crippling covers it.

[Peri2022]

So sorry to hear that many of you have suffered the same feelings. Everyone is obviously unique so it’s hard to pinpoint causes…I wish this phase of life wasn’t just a constant roller coaster of ‘why is my brain/body doing this new weird thing’. Oh to be a man!

[Clovie]

Hi Peri

I know that feeling. I know exactly what you mean.
For me, it is always, and always has been, hormonal.
I get it on the run up to a period. And I get it when I have taken a few days of progesterone. Always 2nd half of my cycle, anyway. It was WAY WAY worse when I was given any kind of synthetic progesterone for HRT, and has improved somewhat with the bioidentical progesterone, utrogestan although I still do get it a little.
I described it to my husband as being in a black hole, watching the world go about it's business but not able to get out and enjoy. It hits you when you wake up like BAM. It's almost physical.

Always worse in the morning, as you say. as you wake.

I've recently changed to continuous Utrogestan. (i'm 59 and still have my own cycle so I've been moved to continuous) and am hoping this smaller dose on a daily basis is going to help going forward...

The way I confront it now is to tell myself 'this is not really how things are. This is not me. This is not real. I know I will feel better later, I know it will lift' and that kind of comforts me
Anyway, i'm sending a hug and my best wishes. xx