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[Honeybee2]

Hi I have posted on here for support in the past . Basically I had an awful time with menopause symptoms felt like I was losing my mind not sleeping night sweats low mood  palpatations and terrible anxiety Can’t even to begin to explain how awful it was I really thought I had some awful condition that no one could diagnose as I felt so bad
I commenced HRT and it took a lot of tweaking the dose to get it right and thought things had settled down  nicely for me .
Currently on Evorel 50 and continuous utrogestran 100mg nightly plus I have one pump of oestrogel in the mornings aswell as felt like 50 wasn’t quite right as was still getting symptoms
Everything seemed to settle I was sleeping past 4.30 the night sweats the feeling of anxiety disappeared and felt so much better for about 3 months …..went back to work cleaned the house and felt settled in my body and mind.
BUT over the past week my mood has dropped and my night sweats and sleep problem have returned ,plus the dreaded anxiety feeling has come back  so depressing after feeling so much better . Why do you think this is ? Am I just having a blip
I tragically lost my mum 15 months ago and have been struggling  adapting to life without mum I loved her so much, and miss her terribly long story but I am waiting for trauma councilling to help me with my loss
Yesterday I spent most of the day crying went to get some shopping and sat in the car crying my eyes out for about an hour . Went to bed and woke up at 4.30 with an awful night sweat and feeling of doom . Feeling overwhelmed again.
Plus it’s coming up to Mother’s Day and this is hard emotionally
I suppose I am just reaching out for some encouraging words to get me through as feeling pretty low this morning x thank you for reading x

[Dotty]

Hi it sounds as if you need more oestrogen. Instead of using additional gel you could use a higher dose of patch….75 or 100. x

[SarahT]

Hi Honeybee too,
Whilst I have no words of practical wisdom, I say hello and please know you are not alone.
I seem to be In the same hormonal place as you, was a bit stable and now crashed back down, so just slogging away to try to get a balance somehow.
I am so so sorry about your mum. Mothers day can be very hard. I am facing my first without my mum too, having her funeral just a week ago.  It is so good you will have some form of counselling to talk this through with someone. Again others can understand your grief and loss and the pain within you, and now, also the utter upheaval in your body too.

I send you Hugs Honeybee, people care for you and send supporting whatever tiny way.

Xx

[Honeybee2]

Thank you replying Dotty it means a lot Yes I was thinking  it could be this I will look into it . I was thinking it could be the time of the month that I would have been having a period as feels like pmt
Wish there was a helpline in place  for women it seems such a minefield sometimes and feel so alone at times  thank goodness for this forum xxx

[Honeybee2]

Thank you for sharing this Sarah .
Awful time for you and I am so sorry you have lost your mum aswell .it’s so hard especially in the early days/weeks .I really feel for you
It’s such an awful mix grief and dealing with menopause .
Sending you so much love

[Flossieteacake]

Hello Honeybee. I think you are very brave for reaching out and sharing what is going on for you so well done for that. I have a feeling the upcoming Mothers Day could in part be the reason for your symptoms flaring. I find stress causes my meno symptoms to return. Stress can really do awful things to our bodies. Waking in the night can also be due to anxiety and stress. It is very good you are going to have trauma counselling but I know waiting for it to begin is tough.

When in peri meno symptoms seem to be quite erratic. One minute it feels we have found the right dose of HRT and the next minute it feels like it is not working. I know this can pass once the body settles again. I think you need to be kind and gentle to yourself right now and perhaps next month when Mothers Day is truly over you will feel calmer again. Mothers Day can be so triggering when not having a Mum and you loosing your lovely mum is bound to make it a difficult time for you.

[Honeybee2]

Thank you Flossiecake
Yes it’s all so confusing and trying to rationalise my thoughts
I have struggled so much and I suppose very fearful that my symptoms will be bad again .
I have tried my best with coming to terms about mum and I think you are right stress is playing a role maybe subconsciously .I feel like I could cry at the drop of a hat ,mum helped me through bad times in my life and mum just knew what to say to me .I lost my first daughter at birth and mum was my rock and helped me get through.
Thank you for replying to me I am just having a bad morning .just hope this passes quickly and feel more like me again .
Life can be so hard sometimes I am strong and I will be ok . I have a lovely family who are so caring for this I am thankful xx

[Flossieteacake]

Thank you Flossiecake
Yes it’s all so confusing and trying to rationalise my thoughts
I have struggled so much and I suppose very fearful that my symptoms will be bad again .
I have tried my best with coming to terms about mum and I think you are right stress is playing a role maybe subconsciously .I feel like I could cry at the drop of a hat ,mum helped me through bad times in my life and mum just knew what to say to me .I lost my first daughter at birth and mum was my rock and helped me get through.
Thank you for replying to me I am just having a bad morning .just hope this passes quickly and feel more like me again .
Life can be so hard sometimes I am strong and I will be ok . I have a lovely family who are so caring for this I am thankful xx

Your Mum sounds amazing and so supportive. It is so hard to loose the person whom you could tell everything too. I am truly sorry you lost your daughter.

It is wonderful you have a lovely family but it does not mean you will not feel upset and be grieving so please do not blame yourself for feeling this way.

You have struggled a lot and it sounds like it did not occur to your GP your symptoms were meno but this does not mean you will get back to the awful way things once were as things are different for you now. You are on HRT and you have more understanding of what is happening to your body.

Please post anytime you need to. We all need support at times.

[Honeybee2]

Oh flossiecake what a lovely reply it actually made me cry my mum was a beautiful person and she lit up a room and everyone loved her  . Your words are so supportive and empathetic .I don’t think I will ever get over the loss of my daughter and mum just try to cope the best I can
Yes it took a long time for my dr to recognise menopause .it actually was the mental health nurse at my surgery who recognised it .
My journey has been hard and deep down I know you are right that I am on hrt now and even though I am having a blip I will be ok I think this whole menopause journey has effected me so badly my brain can’t let go of the past struggles .
Thank you x

[CLKD]

So sad when those who support us are no longer able to do so.   

CRUSE: MIND charity: Samaritans can all offer support.  CRUSE are run for the bereaved by bereaved people.

MayB light a candle in your heart on Sunday: sit somewhere peaceful - listen to bird song, water running, watch rain drops ........ all day if necessary or pick an hour which is appropriate.

[Flossieteacake]

Oh flossiecake what a lovely reply it actually made me cry my mum was a beautiful person and she lit up a room and everyone loved her  . Your words are so supportive and empathetic .I don’t think I will ever get over the loss of my daughter and mum just try to cope the best I can
Yes it took a long time for my dr to recognise menopause .it actually was the mental health nurse at my surgery who recognised it .
My journey has been hard and deep down I know you are right that I am on hrt now and even though I am having a blip I will be ok I think this whole menopause journey has effected me so badly my brain can’t let go of the past struggles .
Thank you x

Aw, I am sorry to have made you cry. I can tell how special your mum was.

The nurse is really good to have realised your symptoms were meno related. I wish more professionals were aware of it and what to look for.

When feeling really unwell it is only natural to fear it will return. Take each day slowly. I find thinking to far ahead makes me feel too anxious.

[Honeybee2]

Thankyou CLKD and flossiecake
Yes I will honour my mum on Sunday with some quiet time CLKD some really  lovely suggestions .
I have used cruise before in the past and they are  really good.xx
Feel very flat today and low mood and it’s pouring of rain here aswell .
Xxxx

[Pippa52]

Hiya - so so sorry to hear you are having such a rotten time.  I totally empathise with how you were feeling as suffered exactly the same and my oestrogen levels were very low when I had all those symptoms.  I agree with other posts that have said it sounds as though your oestrogen levels might be too low.  Have you had a blood test at all to test your oestrogen levels?  It would give you a guide at least although your symptoms do sound like they could be caused by low oestrogen.  I hope so much that you start to feel better soon and that you can find out what is the cause .  Sending hugs xx

[Honeybee2]

Thank you for all your kind words
I am still struggling this morning and woke up at 4 again .feel overwhelmed and my brain feels foggy like I can’t think straight and waves of anxiety
Maybe my oestrogen has dipped low which is causing me this discomfort I was so hopeful that I would sleep longer last night but it wasn’t the case and now I feel tired but can’t seem to rest my body down .just horrible and things seem so miserable when you are sitting in the lounge alone with your thoughts when everyone else in the house is fast asleep ….
I hope this passes  has anyone else felt like this

[CLKD]

Yep.  When severely depressed I would sit. Staring at the wall.  Feeling totally alone.  It passed with appropriate medication.

This is a difficult weekend for many.  As with Easter and C.mas, New Year etc.; who is around, who will keep you company? 

There is no time line on grieving.  For as many reasons as there are stars in the sky.  U probably wake early because there is a rise/fall in Cortisol, then your mind goes into over drive = staying awake.

MayB write a letter to your Mum?  Put it somewhere so that you are able to add little memories to it?