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[Flossieteacake]

I’m slowly giving up Floo. I feel so down today, it’s getting too much to cope with.

Nas, I really feel for you. It is just a constant battle for you and I really am sorry. I do not have any advice but I am worried when you say it is getting too much to cope with. I wish I could wave a magic wand and make you feel better. Please keep posting just to know you are supported and cherished on here.

[Nas]

Thanks Flossie xx
I truly am fed up, like never before. I’m so so sick of not sleeping, battling the moods, the bladder, life!!

[Flossieteacake]

Thanks Flossie xx
I truly am fed up, like never before. I’m so so sick of not sleeping, battling the moods, the bladder, life!!

Of course you are. Not sleeping well feels like a form of torture. It is bad enough without the other symptoms.

[VanillaLover]

So sorry you are feeling so bad. Just wanted to ask, how is your life in general outside the menopause problems? Are you busy, do you have a lot of commitments? Would it be possible to scale back at all - less hours at work, fewer commitments…rest more?
While you are struggling, maybe it would help a little to make more allowances for yourself? Just a thought. Women try to carry on regardless I know but it’s not always possible.

[Nas]

Vanilla, my life is not how I planned it to be. I made a huge mistake moving, 15 years ago and now, well I’ve never settled. Always beating myself up about that decision ( which seemed wise at the time) Menopause has just highlighted my error of judgement I guess.

Aside all of that, i definitely need more time for me! I work with nice people, the work is busy but not overly demanding mentally, but it probably is time to find a new job which isn’t 5 days a week.

Onwards and upwards! 😀👍

[Kathleen]

Hello Nas

I am so sorry that you are suffering. Why is this so tough for some of us I wonder?

I think my sleep is okay as I usually only wake once for the loo and then I get back to sleep. My mood problems however are driving me mad. I am on the edge of tears and panic most of the day,  my sanity only returns late in the day if I am lucky.

I have an upcoming appointment with Newson Health but I assume the advice will be to increase oestrogen. Needless to say I have tried that before and ended up with the same mood swings, possibly even more extreme and painful breasts and bleeding.

Like you I am considering lifestyle changes and I am open to other treatments but sometimes it seems that my hormones hate me and want me to be miserable!

I will update the forum after my NH appointment, you never know something radical and effective might emerge.


Wishing you well and sending hugs.

K.

[VanillaLover]

Nas, sorry your life is not as contented as it could be at the moment. Is there anything you can do to change your circumstances? Or even somehow to make peace with them a little more?

I took an easy, part time, term time only job to suit when my kids were still young and at primary school. Now a few years later I am so glad I did as I don’t think I could physically or mentally cope with full time now that I am going through peri. I actually don’t know how people do it!

Even so I am now cutting back on my hobby commitments so I am not on committees etc any more and don’t have such an active part in some of them. I want to be at the stage where I just turn up, do my hobby. Not have tons of extra and stress. It was ok a few years ago, it isn’t now. It feels good to just say hey I’ve done my bit, I need to step back and if people do t like it, tough! I’ve always been a people pleaser but trying to reduce that a bit and put myself first. It’s hard to break the habit of a lifetime though!

Fewer hours at work for you sounds a good idea if you can manage that financially etc. I was desperate to “fix” myself when peri started and as the years have gone by I’ve realised that even HRT might not get me back to how I “was” before. In fact I don’t think I ever will be “the same” as so many mental and physical changes are taking place (not all bad). It needs time and while that time is going on it’s about getting the best out of those years.

Have you considered CBT (or had it before and could refresh it)? I really rate it and the most recent was very useful in learning to cope/adapt when feeling dreadful due to peri.

Sorry if any of this is not useful or helpful to you! And I’m sorry again that you are suffering.

[Nas]

Thanks for your valuable advice Vanilla. Life just seems hard right now. My son is almost 15 and although essentially a good kid, just drives me mad with his general untidiness and mess!

Daughter is 18 and she is good too. You are right, i am just not the same person any longer. I am tired of running around sorting the house, washing, cooking, cleaning and getting up 5 days a week at 7am.. I don’t want to do it!

Got some serious thinking to do.. job wise.. not sure what I would do.. but got to start somewhere.

Kathleen, i feel your pain, it’s so hard to know how to handle all of this. Hormone imbalance is horrendous and if people at work knew how much of a brave  face I paint, they would be horrified!

Fingers crossed your appointment gos well Kathleen, I hear they do have a habit of pushing for gel increases at Newson. Here’s what I don’t get. I’m on the 75 patch and want to try lenzetto, so specialist says 1 spray!! How is that even NEAR a 75 patch? Do these ‘ specialists’ stop listening and caring after a while??

Flossie, as always, you are a diamond with your kind words, Thankyou xx

Well today I’m irritable as hell. Think I’m better sticking to my 75 patch and sucking up the rest. Changes don’t agree with me at all.

Xxxx

 

[Kathleen]

Hello again Nas

I know what you mean about 'specialists' I am also wary of 'experts' now.

I was looking forward to my NH appointment but now I wonder if it will be the same old advice that didn't work before. I became a patient of the clinic in January 2020 and I have spent a fortune but I continue to have the same range of problems albeit a little less intense. I also worry that the Drs are GPs who have had a bit of training on HRT preparations so how much Meno knowledge and experience can they actually have?

Sorry to be downbeat and cynical but in an effort to get the most out of the appointment I have been looking at my diaries and reliving the frustration!

I agree that if people could see how much we are hiding just to get through the day they would be amazed. My back up plan if all else fails is to turn to drink and why not? At least alcohol works lol.

Is there any way that you can contact your ' specialist ' and ask about the Lenzetto dosage? If not can you increase the sprays so that you are getting the equivalent of a 75mcg patch. We have to do a lot of DIY with the Meno unfortunately even if we have 'experts' on board.

I hope you find a way to do well on Lenzetto and please keep us updated.

Wishing you well and sending hugs.

K

[Nas]

Hi Kathleen
Yes there’s plenty of DIY to be done with HRT and menopause. We are given the ‘ tools’ so to speak, but we then have to fathom out how to to use the damm things ourself!

Be careful with Newson. You have spent a load already.. meno can easily become a money pit ( bit like an old house that needs lots of renovation work doing!)

 I can’t be bothered with specialists anymore Kathleen. Like you, I’ve spemt a fortune on lotions, potions, HRT appointments etc etc. I just muddle through the day now.

Funny you should mention drink lol. I am contemplating cannabis oil!

Xx

[VanillaLover]

I had to give up booze. And I think very carefully about sugar. In fact what vices do I have left to stop? Miserable!

My kids are about a little younger than yours still…I have already stopped picking up my husbands clothes from the floor - if they’re not in the basket they don’t get washed. I feel better for it. Tonight I’ve cooked so I will ask them to empty and refill dishwasher. Normally do it myself…..I have to damn well ask them outright though! These are actually quite big changes for me.

Anyway the point of this is that yes, I am realising that my nurturing years are coming to an end…time for the work to be shared out more and for me to stop doing it all. It’s a big realisation and quite hard as women often judge their self worth on what they do for others.

So yes, it’s OK to step back in work and at home if you need to. Trying to do it all and out a brave face on everything will only make your physical symptoms worse.