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[Mag22]

I had an early menopause at 39 and was told I couldn’t have hrt because I would be on it too long and raise cancer risks.
I got antidepressants on and off and limped on
At 56 I had bilateral salpingoopherectomy due to large cysts with a borderline diagnosis which no one ever explained.
Mood symptoms worsened dramatically and I was started on hrt but became suicidal and thanks to this forum recognised that progesterone was responsible
Since then i have had multiple health issues, low vitamin and mineral levels, heart irregularities but no structural cause, osteoporosis and arthritis worsening suddenly, poor absorption low pancreatic enzymes,
Fatigue beyond anything I have ever experienced.
My thyroid is also failing and I started thyroxine which initially helped with muscle pain and energy levels but that little honeymoon is over and I’m struggling with fatigue, severe depression and the feeling that I cannot bear being in this body any more. I just don’t feel like myself at all and that is so frightening.
I have oestrogel and progesterone tablets that i had decided to try vaginally as suggested here

I just look at the bag and cannot face the potential upheaval. I’m 59 now maybe it’s just something I have to accept. I never did get on with hormones, my own gave me severe premenstrual issues, the pill gave me headaches and made me fat and even the vaginal oestrogen pessaries made me bleed after a week having been 20 years since my last period!
I’d be interested in how people who never took hrt have fared with their bones and their mental health    I’m worried I’m just going to crumble away as I have a lot of joint pain despite exercise and bone building drugs.
And the mental turmoil of feeling like a waste of space with nothing left to offer and no energy to do anything about that is becoming too much.

should I try one more time and see if a very low dose is tolerable?
If not I have a good stock to give away!

Thanks to anyone who makes it to the end of this.

[Flossieteacake]

Hello Mag22. I really am sorry you have been given the wrong information. HRT can be taken for life. I started HRT at 38 and I intend to be on it for life.

You have been through such a difficult time and to start a new HRT can feel overwhelming as you do not know what to expect and you are concerned about any side effects you may have. I can understand that. I feel you feel so bad anyway that it is worth trying this new regime as if it can help in any way then it will be so worth it. I think you should try a low dose to see how it goes. If it were me I would try the oestrogel alone just to see how you go and if you can tolerate that then I would add the progesterone. Sometimes it is hard to know which one is causing us a reaction if we try both at the same time. You have nothing to loose by trying again. It can take a while to find the right HRT.

You are not a waste of space with nothing to offer. Although you are feeling low, sore and sad, you are the same person inside. You are still you. These horrid meno symptoms have taken over right now but you are still a person who deserves love and compassion.

[Cassie]

Gosh you poor thing, how sad that you were fed this nonsense. At 39 you desperately needed HRT and the thinking is you are only replacing what your body should be making naturally & it is considered quite safe to use up to the nomal age one would start meno in your 50s.  I started early meno then as well and am now almost 60 and still taking my HRT. I use the gel only one pump a day but it kept me sane and I never experienced any nasty side effects such as flushing or atrophy etc. You can certainly start it. I use 100mg of utrogestan 12 days a month. Why suffer when its not necessary. Give it a go, you have nothing to lose and am sure it will make a huge difference.

[Mag22]

Thank you for your kind thoughtful replies. You’re right,  things are bad enough to give it a go!

[Zoe]

What a tough time you have had! I think we underestimate the sheer strength and endurance we need to get through this stuff. Just getting to where you are now is a massive achievement.

If you start low and slow on the HRT you can monitor it carefully and let your body adjust. Don't know what your doctor recommended (continuous or cyclical utrogestan - probably continuous?), but maybe start with the oestrogel first for a week to see how that goes before adding the utrogestan. Otherwise it can be difficult to distinguish between the side effects (if any) of the two.

If you are starting on one pump of oestrogel it is not going to do any harm to delay the utrogestan a little. One pump is a small dose.

All the very best with this! Let us know how it goes. X

[Zoe]

Just noticed Flossieteacake said the same about the oestrogel. So that's two votes for that approach!

[Mag22]

Thanks, I didn’t realise I could try the gel alone for a while, I’ll get Christmas out the way and try the low and slow way.
Appreciate the advice, this forum is really a life saver with so much experience and knowledge.  Menopause has been catastrophic at times and I get really down also angry that doctors have no idea what to do or say and I’ve had such bad advice over the years.
Here I find kindness understanding and thoughtful replies from people who understand and I really appreciate the time taken to read and respond

[Flossieteacake]

Thanks, I didn’t realise I could try the gel alone for a while, I’ll get Christmas out the way and try the low and slow way.
Appreciate the advice, this forum is really a life saver with so much experience and knowledge.  Menopause has been catastrophic at times and I get really down also angry that doctors have no idea what to do or say and I’ve had such bad advice over the years.
Here I find kindness understanding and thoughtful replies from people who understand and I really appreciate the time taken to read and respond

GPs do not seem to suggest it but I think it is best to go as slowly as possible. I can understand why you feel angry. It seems we have to do our own research which is difficult.

I hope it goes well.😀