Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[Sher]

Hello,
I’m new here and lurked, never posted.

I had a total hysterectomy, with ovaries gone also, in January of this year and in full-blown surgical menopause.

It’s been a rollercoaster 11 months. In May this year I lost two stone after finally finding a little part of me again and now I have crashed.

I was given Sandrena leaving hospital, didn’t work, then given Evorel along with Utrogestan. It was upped and upped until it also stopped working when my GP refused to up it from 100, back in early November. She then changed it to two sprays of Lenzetto daily. That didn’t work and I paid to see a menopause specialist last week. He prescribed Elleste Solo tablets and Testogel as he suspects I am not absorbing transdermally. I know I have to wait a month before applying the Testogel.

I started on Monday of this week and I’m still just on the floor. I’m so irritated with no life in me. I have two dogs who are just being dogs but I’m tearing my hair out with them. My husband doesn’t know how to help me and my three kids have their own lives now (they are late teens and early 20’s).

I don’t go anywhere, I’ve become a recluse and don’t even want to see people. I’m hyper-sensitive and terrified of every ache and pain I have, thinking I’m dying. I see everyone on Facebook going to Christmas parties and I’m at home in my pyjamas eating crap with my thinning hair and fat ass.

I’m so desperate, I don’t know what to do. I want to feel alive again and I truly don’t believe I ever will.

Can someone please tell me it’ll all be okay xx

[DottyD68]

Hi Sher,

I'm so sorry to hear that you feel so rubbish at the moment. You are not alone. I do not recognise myself from my previous pre-menopausal self and can relate to many of the things you have said. However we must have hope that things will improve because they will.

You must be kind to yourself and take one day at a time. Stop looking at Facebook to start with as that will never help.

Christmas can be a hard time of year anyway with so many different pressures and surrounded by "bad" food etc. So if you can't take immediate action, make a plan to do things that will make you feel better. Nutrition (including supplements), Exercise, Meditation, see selective friends etc starting on a specific date. Do whatever you think may work for you. It doesnt have to be anything big, just baby steps and you will just feel better mentally if nothing else.

I am sending you very best wishes and positive thoughts x

[Flossieteacake]

Hello Sher. Welcome to the forum. I am glad you have found us. It sounds like you are not getting much support so please post as much as you want to here as support is so important especially when feeling low.

Your GP does not sound very supportive so no wonder you felt you had to pay to see a private menopause DR. I hope the new HRT is more helpful for you. It is not nice having to wait until it kicks in.

I think it is understandable not to want to see people when feeling low. It is just too much to try and put an act on and to pretend all is okay. Do you think your friends may be supportive if you were to tell them how you are feeling? It could be they have no idea how you are feeling and they would want to be there for you.

I agree with Dotty. Looking at facebook will only make you feel worse. Do not forget, people often post the happy moments only and never mention if they are feeling sad.

This is a thread which may help your husband.
https://www.menopausematters.co.uk/forum/index.php/topic,2458.0.html

Maybe it would help to ask your children to take the dogs out and help with their care.

[Katherine]

Hi Sher,

I’m so sorry to hear of your distress. I just want to say that after all you’ve been through recently that it is normal to feel what you are feeling. I feel like you’ve lost hope, but there is a lot of hope I promise. The feelings will eventually pass but it may take a bit of time. In the meantime get as much help and support as you can, take as much stress off you as you can and know that all these things do have a solution. Social media is not real life, everyone goes through tough times at some point but people just show the happy times. I think at Christmas we assume everyone else is really happy and it’s just us feeling that way but I promise that’s not the case.  I would recommend seeing a therapist and also doing something outside the house with other people one afternoon a week, anything at all that you can, as this can help sort of re-set the mind when you’re feeling stuck. There are some books by Dr Claire Weekes about anxiety that I think would really help you. I really hope my post has been helpful. There is always a way, there is always hope and we are here for you. Xxx

Edit- I just noticed you said you don’t feel like seeing people, so you could try going for walks in nature. It can be really healing. Just getting out of the house will help so you can have a rest from looking inward and allow things outside to lift you.

[PoppyPopcorn]

I hear you Sher and you're not alone. I've had a hysterectomy too - although I kept my ovaries - and it can be a real struggle. I would advise as the others have trying to find a specialist, either through the NHS or if you can afford it, privately.

Headspace app works for me for the mindfulness and helps you stay in the moment rather than letting your mind race off with the what ifs. Also forcing myself out for a walk helps too.

[trandall]

Hi Sher sorry to hear how you are feeling and the other ladies are right you are definitely not alone. The feeling of dread and not being able to look forward to anything is something I get too so understand how you feel. Speaking to other women will help you realise that this is all part of the menopause journey and will support you. Talking is so important because unfortunately this is normal for a lot of us which in a strange way helps. Keep talking

[pepperminty]

https://www.balance-menopause.com/menopause-library/026-surgical-menopause-dr-rebecca-lewis-dr-louise-newson/


http://www.surgicalmenopause.co.uk/aboutus.html


Hope the above is of some use

PM xx