If you are suicidal - U should phon your GP Surgery or contact MIND or Samaritans for support? They won't know about HRT per se but will offer support.
Lack of sleep is difficult so your GP could prescribe a few nights of tablets to enable you to get relief. A clear head will let you decide about your on-going HRT requirements. The body doesn't get where it is in a hurry so it stands to reason that it will take a while and often a hike in regime, for the uptake to make a difference.