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[Kenny]

Hi , I’m not sure why I’m posting this, but not sure where to turn, after 35 years of marriage I know I should end it, I’m so scared , it’s the biggest decision I will ever make. In a nutshell my hubby has a vile streak but we’ve always come out the other end and can be very happy again. Since he had Pancreatic cancer over 2 years ago which incidentally I saved his life as he was hiding it he seems to go through fazes of hating me for it, that may sound bizarre but he has definitely changed since then , not for the good. He is a very bitter and angry man which I can’t understand and get my head round. I don’t deserve any of his nastiness , I have always been there for him but now realise that is part of the problem . Basically I’m looking for some positive comments from ladies who have had the courage to leave as deep down I know it’s the right thing to do.

[Flossieteacake]

Hello Kenny. I think you are very brave to make this post. I felt so sad to read this. It sounds like you are not being treated in the manner you deserve to be.

To me, marriage is about respecting each other and it does not sound like your husband is respecting you. I understand leaving is a huge decision. You may have questions like, can i cope alone? Will I be lonely? what if I regret it? I think in a marriage like this you are already alone and lonely.

Maybe you could make a list of pros and cons? I find that always helps me.

You do not deserve to be spoken to by somebody who shows anger and bitterness towards you.

[Taz2]

Hi Kenny. Sorry that you are facing this big decision. I wonder if you could start a new thread under the Private Lives section which is open only to members rather than the whole internet? Forum members might then feel more comfortable giving advice and sharing their own experiences with you.

Taz 

[Kenny]

Thank you for your prompt replies, Flossieteacake you are so spot on, I’m already very lonely and unhappy , could it possibly be any worse..thank you Taz, I will post in private lives now , I just wasn’t sure where to post it , I’ve been contemplating posting for a week but scared.

[Kenny]

I’ve posted in Private Lives so would love to hear your comments on that forum now, very much appreciated.

[Flossieteacake]

You are very brave to post this. I read you were thinking of it for a week.

Is it possible for you to ask your husband to move out or would you need to be the one who moves?

[CLKD]

I've responded in your thread in Private Lives - mayB others will continue there 

[Kenny]

Flossieteacake, I am not willing to move out, actually we are having a new kitchen in 2 weeks so I am staying put. We have no mortgage thankfully and I could support myself so I suppose I’m lucky there.I am sleeping in another room and am out most of the day. We are virtually living separate lives but it doesn’t make it any less scary to end the marriage.