Hi becks, I'm really sorry to hear of your struggles, I can see how losing your dad at such a young age would be so heartbreaking, I think at 49 there's a good chance hrt would certainly help, you are doing the right thing speaking to a specialist about hrt because your mum had breast cancer so that's absolutely right in your situation and I can see how that adds another element of concern regarding hrt, there are ladies on here who have had breast cancer but use hrt I think the patches and gels are what's recommended, of course the specialist is absolutely the right person to guide you on that, I too am 49,peri started young for me at 38, so I'm thinking 11 years on I must be post by now, I can't tell because I had a hysterectomy but I did retain my ovaries, between hrt and AD I have managed to control most of it, I no longer have the panic side of things, I think maybe if the specialist agrees a low starting dose on hrt might be a good starting point, I wouldn't want to sway you one way or the other about ADs, but if I hadn't taken them I hate to think where I'd be now, there are certainly meds that can help deal with this, I won't say its a miracle cure, I think once we get anxiety or are prone to it, it's about managing it, medication can help you with that, or some people do well with mindful apps and cbt or counselling, I've done cbt it does help, I did a self referral online, I didn't have to see my gp, it's through the NHS let's talk website, if that's something you would rather do than take meds, I wish you luck with your appointment with the specialist I hope he/she gives you some positive guidance as to your options, it's nice your kids and husband are good, mine are too but like you say they can never fully understand, maybe put a post in the anything menopause about using hrt and breast cancer in the family I'm sure some of the ladies will tell you there experience, I do think you would maybe benefit from hrt and a anti anxiety med, some of the ladies above in this thread mentioned sertraline being really good for anxiety it's something I'm considering to get rid of the lingering bit of anxiety I have,very best wishes I hope you find something to ease those feelings, take care keep us updated with how you get on xxx