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[Becks]

Hi Amazing Grace,
Thank you so much for your reply.
I am so happy for you, that you are at a point where you can manage the anxiety much better now.
I get so frustrated with myself. I do have better days and feel pleased with myself, but it doesn’t take much for it to take over and spiral out of control again.
I am 49 and guessing I must be the other end of the peri menopause stage?? Would you mind me asking your age?
The anxiety seemed to trigger off about 3 years ago and over time has got progressively worse. Covid hasn’t helped obviously, as I have always been a worrier and overthink things all of the time.
I am not currently taking any Meds but have been prescribed HRT. I am worried about that though. My mum has had breast cancer and I worry about the risks.
I have an appointment next week  to discuss with a menopausal specialist.
As I want to know if it’s HRT that I need or anti anxiety medication?

I was in my teens when I first started suffering with anxiety. In fact, i had a breakdown really. At the time the specialists felt it was due to me loosing my dad at such a young age (I was
It took over then and it was a dark place I didn’t ever want to revisit, but sadly I find myself back there.

I, like yourself feel that at a point in my life I should be enjoying everything life has to offer, I am crippled by the anxiety controlling nearly every aspect of my life.
It is so debilitating.
My children are very good and my husband to a certain extent, but of course they can’t really fully understand it.
It is very isolating and lonely sometimes with these overpowering thoughts.
Again thank you so much for reaching out.
I really appreciate it
Sending a big hug back xx

[Becks]

Sorry I was 8 when I lost my dad.
I have no idea how that emoji slipped in there 😊

[Amazing grace]

Hi becks, I'm really sorry to hear of your struggles, I can see how losing your dad at such a young age would be so heartbreaking, I think at 49 there's a good chance hrt would certainly help, you are doing the right thing speaking to a specialist about hrt because your mum had breast cancer so that's absolutely right in your situation and I can see how that adds another element of concern regarding hrt, there are ladies on here who have had breast cancer but use hrt I think the patches and gels are what's recommended, of course the specialist is absolutely the right person  to guide you on that, I too am 49,peri started young for me at 38, so I'm thinking 11 years on I must be post by now, I can't tell because I had a hysterectomy but I did retain my ovaries, between hrt and AD I have managed to control most of it, I no longer have the panic side of things, I think maybe if the specialist agrees a low starting dose on hrt might be a good starting point, I wouldn't want to sway you one way or the other about ADs, but if I hadn't taken them I hate to think where I'd be now, there are certainly meds that can help deal with this, I won't say its a miracle cure, I think once we get anxiety or are prone to it, it's about managing it, medication can help you with that, or some people do well with mindful apps and cbt or counselling, I've done cbt it does help, I did a self referral online, I didn't have to see my gp, it's through the NHS let's talk website, if that's something you would rather do than take meds, I wish you luck with your appointment with the specialist I hope he/she gives you some positive guidance as to your options, it's nice your kids and husband are good, mine are too but like you say they can never fully understand, maybe put a post in the anything menopause about using hrt and breast cancer in the family I'm sure some of the ladies will tell you there experience, I do think you would maybe benefit from hrt and a anti anxiety med, some of the ladies above in this thread mentioned sertraline being really good for anxiety it's something I'm considering to get rid of the lingering bit of anxiety I have,very best wishes I hope you find something to ease those feelings, take care keep us updated with how you get on xxx

[Stella2]

I am so sorry to hear about your suffering. I am sorry for taking space but I feel i need to talk to someone, I feel so embarrassed. My partner has Covid and I have just tested negative but I feel very headachy, have stomach issues, I think I am anxious of getting covid. Most of people already had it, I had 3 jabs, I should be OK, I know! I have been suffering with health and other for years and I think it became apparent once when my mum had a stroke. She was paralysed and unable to speak, although conscious for two months before she died. It was horrible to see her like that and i think i never processed fully my feelings as i was in mode of doing as much as i can and keeping strong rather than facing my feelings.
Pre-menopause creeped up anxiety developed badly with panic attacks. CBT, change of lifestyle helped, I am better now on HRT and menopause but I am living very cautiously and I do not expose myself to new situations readily. I am happy when everything is controlled what is not the best thing to do...I do not travel anymore due to panic attacks in the past - i loved travelling so much. My world became very small...
I am afraid that I will start panicking again, I am trying to breathe deeply, all what i learned seems to be forgotten...It's just covid...

[Flossieteacake]

I am so sorry to hear about your suffering. I am sorry for taking space but I feel i need to talk to someone, I feel so embarrassed. My partner has Covid and I have just tested negative but I feel very headachy, have stomach issues, I think I am anxious of getting covid. Most of people already had it, I had 3 jabs, I should be OK, I know! I have been suffering with health and other for years and I think it became apparent once when my mum had a stroke. She was paralysed and unable to speak, although conscious for two months before she died. It was horrible to see her like that and i think i never processed fully my feelings as i was in mode of doing as much as i can and keeping strong rather than facing my feelings.
Pre-menopause creeped up anxiety developed badly with panic attacks. CBT, change of lifestyle helped, I am better now on HRT and menopause but I am living very cautiously and I do not expose myself to new situations readily. I am happy when everything is controlled what is not the best thing to do...I do not travel anymore due to panic attacks in the past - i loved travelling so much. My world became very small...
I am afraid that I will start panicking again, I am trying to breathe deeply, all what i learned seems to be forgotten...It's just covid...

Stella, you really have nothing to feel embarrassed for. I think it is very understandable to feel the way you do. Although you have had CBT and were managing, it only takes something to trigger you and everything comes back. Would it help to look at the notes you made when you had CBT and work through them? If not, do you think you may benefit from another round of CBT?

You are not alone and you have no need to feel embarrassed. We are all here to support you.

[CLKD]

No need for any1 to be embarrassed at all.   Most of us have experienced similar!

Some oncologists won't prescribe HRT if a family member or oneself has had breast disease, even if it hasn't been associated with hormones.  However, Qualify of Life should be pressed as there are so more ways to deliver HRT these days.   My oncologist told me at my last appt in 1997, 'no HRT for you Young Lady' however: had I suffered with half the problems some seem to face, I would have gone on and on until something was agreed.  Because health anxiety would affect me if symptoms weren't sorted!

Last week I was floored with a sudden panic attack due to taking on 'too much', even though it was my decision    .  After being panic free since 2018.  So it can happen for small or large reasons! 

Steall2 - when my husband coughs I am immediately on high alert!!! I think it's natural for many of us especially with Covid still around.  How is your partner in reality?  How 'able' is he to care for himself or do you feel you have to 'run round' or in my case, it would be 'keeping out of the way'  .  Ask him 'cos he may not realise that you need to know!

In the 1990s I was unable to leave the house.  My GP prescribed appropriate medication and with a loving husband, eventually I managed to pick up the pieces. It took about 2 years, now in general, we are out and about.  So don't beat yourself up about what you can't do: I would never think to get into a bus or train than I would think to fly to the moon!  I used to worry about other people, now it's up to them to make a life without me: when I am able I will join in ;-). 

I no longer say 'yes' to any requests.  That way I don't go into panic mode incase I can't on the day ;-).  Stella2.  How supportive is your partner about not travelling etc.? 

[CLKD]

Sorry that was a bit of a meander 

[Stella2]

Thank you so much CLKD. Sorry to hear you had a panic attack again. My partner can take care of himself but I feel that it's my duty to take care of other people - as i had to as a child. I know that's wrong. He was not a great support when anxiety started but he is much better now, although I know he misses our holidays. The guilt is something that I have been experiencing most of my life but I can recognise my feelings better now. CBT is good but the exposure part not so. There is a demand to 'get back to normal' and to beat the fear and I just want to cocoon myself in safety of familiarity. I think counseling will be needed.
Thank you 

[CLKD]

So what's wrong with beginning to please yourself and your partner?  DH won't go away without me  , spontaneous days out are the best way for us.   . Why do we have to 'do' what these so-called 'experts' tell us?  As with most info., we can listen to the suggestions and glean what is suitable for us at that time. 

If OH can cope then keep up with chores ? If he lived alone he would need to do stuff ;-).  Caring is OK when it's necessary  .   

Guilt can be soul destroying  .  Especially when I can't change what happened.  Do U feel that you are still the 'little girl' that had to care for others? MayB jot down what happened then and why; compared with what is required now?  Then tick off what is absolutely necessary to your current life.

Let me know how you get on!

[Stella2]

Thank you CLKD, the little girl deserves some attention and I have to constantly remind myself of that and that she matters. Have made some progress in recent years, but in the time of crises all feelings from the past resurface. They need to be noticed and tended with care and love and it's often easier to find love for others than for yourself...learning 

[CLKD]

The little girl needs acknowledgment and validation.  10 mins twice a day?  What ever, 'it' wasn't your fault.  Old habits die hard !

[trandall]

I started getting health anxiety almost as soon as peri menopause started 3 years ago. I had never had any anxiety issues prior to this and found it very difficult to deal with. I would call the first time an episode and thought I was going crazy, terrible feeling. I happened to go to a local chemist for Calms and the pharmacist took the time to talk me through breathing exercises and to this day I am so grateful to this man. I now find it comes and goes but at times cannot convince myself that all the aches and pains are not life threatening diseases and when I call the GP feel very concerned that even when they do check me out that they might have missed something 🤔  one female GP talked me through health anxiety which helped to understand it and I feel less concerned now. I really sympathise with anyone dealing with anxiety of any type. Remember ladies they are thoughts 💕

[Nancy]

I have spent the last few days catastrophising. How do I stop?? I wake up in a panic. It started with VA symptoms a few weeks ago (have had them for years but was getting uncomfortable symptoms - itch, irritation - visited GP, no infection, no results from thrush - assume it's just VA acting up. Since then I had once incidence of blood after BM and it tipped me over the edge into Google doc forums looking for reassurance it's not cancer. Also catastrophising about my daughter :-(. What can I do to help myself. Any advise welcome. I had discussed setroline for my anxiety with dr but they are reluctant to start me on it, so is there anything I can do to break the cycle? I feel like I've lost my confidence with decisions and plans and is pretty upsetting. thanks in advance

[Flossieteacake]

I have spent the last few days catastrophising. How do I stop?? I wake up in a panic. It started with VA symptoms a few weeks ago (have had them for years but was getting uncomfortable symptoms - itch, irritation - visited GP, no infection, no results from thrush - assume it's just VA acting up. Since then I had once incidence of blood after BM and it tipped me over the edge into Google doc forums looking for reassurance it's not cancer. Also catastrophising about my daughter :-(. What can I do to help myself. Any advise welcome. I had discussed setroline for my anxiety with dr but they are reluctant to start me on it, so is there anything I can do to break the cycle? I feel like I've lost my confidence with decisions and plans and is pretty upsetting. thanks in advance

Hello Nancy. May I ask why your Dr does not want you to try setroline? I think anxiety medication can be so helpful when people are suffering so much with it.

As to breaking the cycle I would say your thought patterns need to be broken and I think you may find CBT helpful with that. For example, you know you are catastrophising and CBT will help you to work out why you are doing it and the alternatives. One thing that would really help is to never google health related issues. If you are feeling unwell and try to find out why on google it will always lead you to the worst possible outcome. This will make your anxiety so much worse.

With your VA, are you using the treatment daily? The leaflet will suggest to use it twice a week after the loading phase but I ignore that and need to use Ovestin every day.

[marshallcat]

Health anxiety, also known as hypochondria, is a type of anxiety that focuses on one's health. People with health anxiety may experience excessive worry about their own health or the health of others. They may also avoid activities or places that they believe could be dangerous to their health. Health anxiety can lead to significant distress and impairment in daily functioning. It is important to seek treatment for health anxiety if it is causing significant distress or interfering with daily life. Treatment typically involves cognitive-behavioral therapy, which can help people manage their fear and worry around health and other issues.