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[CLKD]

Hopefully our sense of humour has lifted your spirits? 

[CLKD]

I have problems with men discussing periods  . A few weeks ago in the Sat sports press, a male journalist was talking about how women deal with periods during different sports.  Why would he be interested  ........ some of it was about wearing white at Wimbledon.  I suppose most coaches are male ?  Committees; mainly male ?

I think it depends on how old we are and how we were raised? 

[sheila99]

Perhaps try to be a bit more accepting of yourself? If you had a friend who had an early menopause you'd want to be supportive not think of them as a freak. You're not off the scale unique, you may not find soneone amongst the small circle of women you discuss it with but there are several on here. IMO we're a lot better off than those with an early menopause. For us it's irritating when doctors don't believe us or don't have the experience, for them it can lead to actual harm if they're denied oestrogen to protect their bones and heart. As well as losing the ability to have children.

[CLKD]

How about writing to a dedicated womens' magazine suggesting an article?  Women and Home for example?  Cosmopolitan?  I don't know what mags are on the news stands these days, other than animal related news or crosswords.

I think Covid has a lot to answer for, I haven't kept up with many people ......... am gradually getting back to a social group related to hobbies, otherwise 

You're amongst friends here, all of use are in different stages. 

[sheila99]

I can cope with Joe public not being well informed about it but you're absolutely right medics should be more clued up.

[Ann]

Hi, I'm hoping some of you are still contributing to this thread, as it was exactly what I was looking for - I'm 57 and the websites I visit literally terrify me into believing there is something deathly wrong with me because they all mention 50 - 54 as the END of perimenopause.  On recommendation, I just bought Mariella Fostrup's book on menopause, and she quotes in her introduction that '51' is the time when perimenopause ends, and that she had 'textbook' timing herself.   I couldn't continue to read the book after that sentence because it was immediately apparent there would be nothing in it that applied to me.  There is a troubling silence about late menopause, and it is a lonely place, for any woman like me who is still perimenopausal beyond her mid 50s. 

I'd be very keen to speak to anyone in the same position as me, as I tend to hide it from my friends, who have all menopaused so gracefully and in the 'normal' time frame. 

I was delighted at Christmas 2021 when I had what I thought was my last period, then, July - out of the blue, a period.  And I don't recall the PMT really subsiding completely until I had another period this month - nothing unusual about the length or flow - Then this month, another, with the worst PMT I have ever had and the most tender breasts, which is awful because I have 32J size breasts, so they are heavy and difficult to lie on at the best of times; now they are my worst enemy, and what is most alarming is that non of my PMT seems to have subsided, 3 days after my period has ended.    I don't mind saying I am an absolute mess and feel like I am on the verge of tears, constantly.  I don't feel like going anywhere, I just want to be on my own all the time, and am constantly, 24/7 haunted by worry about how I feel both mentally and physically.  I have absolutely no idea who to turn to.  My GP is never, ever available - appointments now are with a practice nurse or a locum -  and when I did see the GP last (just before lockdown) she said there was nothing to worry about - lots of women have late menopause, even into early 60s, and so I should perhaps take some antidepressants and look after my health and lifestyle better.  She did blood tests which came back all ok apart from a bit low on iron, and I had a cervical smear which is fine.  I declined the prescrpition for antidepressents.

I can't tell you how lovely it would be to know if there are any other women out there around my age, feeling and experiencing what I am, or would like to chat about what seems to be a never ending perimenopause.

[Ann]

Perhaps try to be a bit more accepting of yourself? If you had a friend who had an early menopause you'd want to be supportive not think of them as a freak. You're not off the scale unique, you may not find soneone amongst the small circle of women you discuss it with but there are several on here. IMO we're a lot better off than those with an early menopause. For us it's irritating when doctors don't believe us or don't have the experience, for them it can lead to actual harm if they're denied oestrogen to protect their bones and heart. As well as losing the ability to have children.

Thank you for your reply.  When I was in my early 50’s and first began to experience horrendous bleeding I discussed menopause openly with work colleagues and friends and listened to their own concerns and woes.  Now at aged 57 1/2 I don’t feel able to start any conversation and just stay quiet if it’s mentioned.  Maybe two years of Covid and less meeting up is to blame to a certain extend but I also feel late onset needs to be mentioned more in tv programs, nhs websites, etc, so doctors, medical workers and others are better informed and we are more likely to be believed.

I totally relate to this.  I used to discuss menopause with friends at work, when I was in my early 50s, but then they all went into menopause, and I didn't, so when I would sometimes mention that I was having a period -  when I was  56, they would say things like 'that's odd, ooh, I'm so glad I'm not having them anymore', or 'I'm sure they'll stop soon' and that would be about it.  So I stopped mentioning it... to anyone. They are lovely friends, but they just can't relate to it.  We go on walks together once a month, and the last time we went I so wanted to mention to them that after having not had a period for 7 months, I had suddenly had one, but I just couldn't bring myself to say something that I knew was alien to them.   Being late perimenopausal is hard enough, but when it is also lonely, it really adds to the anxiety and low moods that you already grapple with.   For me, aside from my complete inability to be rational or logical about it,  which leaves me constantly worried that there is something medically wrong with me -  it is the overwhelming loneliness of it.   I hope all the ladies on here who are still perimenopausal in their late 50s and beyond, are not feeling isolated or alone with it.

[sheila99]

Good for your gp for telling you some women aren't meno until their early 60s, I've been told by a specialist I couldn't possibly still be having periods at 57 because everyone is meno by 54. Tempted to throw the evidence in his face  (can you tell bad temper was a symptom?). Shame she spoiled it by suggesting inappropriate treatment. There are always people here to chat to if you need advice or just to vent, we're all here because we've struggled with it. If you want hrt I would go back to your gp. Perhaps read the NICE guidelines first which say hrt should be used for meno symptoms not ADs. I was also offered ADs, it seems to be a common problem. I refused and asked for hrt which I got.

[KarineT]

Hi Carole,

I always imagined and hoped that I wouldn't reach the menopause before the age of 60 but, unfortunately, it wasn't to be.  When I reached it at just 49 it wasn't even average, if the average is 51.  I feel I have been cut short but I guess one can't chose when it's going to happen.  The problem is that, at this age,  there's still a lot of years before a woman can retire.  I think if you have the stress of a job it can make the menopause even harder for you. I would say the later one enters the menopause, the better.

Karine

[sheila99]

Why would breast screening be different?

[ange63]

HI, reading this with interest.   I am yet a different category - went through peri early 50s with some issues but not debilitating.  Stopped periods 54/55 and carried on the same.  BUT 8 months ago aged 58 started to get issues and then full blown meno symptoms that have floored me for months now.    So I'm not peri or late but symptoms have hit me late after post meno.    But my age is my issue as it can dictate how well you feel and how/if  you try some of the things suggested when you are younger that help.  Also the emotional side of things for me at this age as we had made such a lot of plans for semi retirement as I thought I was going through it all ok and these have now been ruined..... feel so useless and as if life is ruined.         

[Flossieteacake]

HI, reading this with interest.   I am yet a different category - went through peri early 50s with some issues but not debilitating.  Stopped periods 54/55 and carried on the same.  BUT 8 months ago aged 58 started to get issues and then full blown meno symptoms that have floored me for months now.    So I'm not peri or late but symptoms have hit me late after post meno.    But my age is my issue as it can dictate how well you feel and how/if  you try some of the things suggested when you are younger that help.  Also the emotional side of things for me at this age as we had made such a lot of plans for semi retirement as I thought I was going through it all ok and these have now been ruined..... feel so useless and as if life is ruined.       

Oh ange, you are not useless. I know it is awful having to go through this but you are not useless. I am so sorry you feel your life is ruined. Is it possible to put those plans on hold and try them at a later stage? Perhaps once you get the right treatment your symptoms will improve.

[lisa528]

Re: Ann

No, you're not the only one. Am 58 and a half, and still having periods, and yes, it's now getting me down. Have been educating my new GP about late onset menopause and as a specialist in the area - a stroke of good luck - she did go back to her support group and get more information. Also lucky to have support from my workplace. Good to see an article in this month's print edition of MM acknowledging the issue. People in the know cheerfully point to the longer lifespan, nice complexion, protection against some diseases but I need the energy and brainpower now for my job! Also, I've had symptoms of perimenopause for over a decade and PMS most of my adult life. I'm hypersensitive to progesterone, have recurrent stenosis of the cervix and very heavy, irregular periods. Am on HRT to try and regulate everything but still in the 'let's try a couple of things to see what works' stage. Thankfully, all the tests show nothing 'sinister' but it's really no joke just now - I'm just so tired of having periods, and so tired of feeling tired. However, thanks for this thread - we're not alone in this.

[Flossieteacake]

Re: Ann

No, you're not the only one. Am 58 and a half, and still having periods, and yes, it's now getting me down. Have been educating my new GP about late onset menopause and as a specialist in the area - a stroke of good luck - she did go back to her support group and get more information. Also lucky to have support from my workplace. Good to see an article in this month's print edition of MM acknowledging the issue. People in the know cheerfully point to the longer lifespan, nice complexion, protection against some diseases but I need the energy and brainpower now for my job! Also, I've had symptoms of perimenopause for over a decade and PMS most of my adult life. I'm hypersensitive to progesterone, have recurrent stenosis of the cervix and very heavy, irregular periods. Am on HRT to try and regulate everything but still in the 'let's try a couple of things to see what works' stage. Thankfully, all the tests show nothing 'sinister' but it's really no joke just now - I'm just so tired of having periods, and so tired of feeling tired. However, thanks for this thread - we're not alone in this.

Hello Lisa. I just wanted to welcome you to the forum. I am pleased to see you have an open minded GP who is willing to educate themselves on menopause. I too am sensitive to progesterone. It makes HRT so difficult.