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[Donnal1964]

Hi, my perimenopause journey started 8 years ago. I need to explain that I have for the past 3 years had a severe form of white coat syndrome so can not see any medical people such as doctors, nurses etc, even going near a surgery, hospital etc or dropping my daughter off in the carpark sends my blood pressure through the roof and I have panic attacks. I am lucky that my husband understands and looks things up for me and is always there for me to talk too, he even found this forum for me. Since the 30th of May I seem to have had a mix of spotting varying in colour from port wine to blush pink. I've had this various times through the journey but since the end of May seem to have only had 9 days free of it. The majority of time it is when I wipe and a lot of days I can have nothing all day and think great its gone away only to go toilet between 6.30 and 8pm to find port wine to brown when I wipe which later vanishes again, although this morning it changed round to dark when I rubbed this morning after nothing overnight to nothing then blush pink and nothing again. Has anyone else experienced this at all. Thanks to the forum I realise I'm not alone or going crazy in some of the things that I have experienced during peri

[violetbat]

Are you using any form of HRT?

[Nas]

I’m afraid you are going to have to tackle your fear of medical people and get checked  over. What you describe is not usual or normal ( unless you are in the first 6 months of HRT?) It may not even be anything to do with menopause, which is why you need to see a doctor.

It could be something or nothing, but you will likely need an examination at the very least.

Are you relying on your husband to look up medical issues for you ?

[Taz2]

Hi Donnal. Sorry to hear of your health anxiety. There are quite a few members on here with similar fears. Is your GP aware of your phobia? The medical profession is used to helping people deal with this anxiety.

As has been mentioned it is really important that you do consult with your GP about this spotting as frightening as you find it to do this. How long ago was your last period and are you on HRT or have you ever been on HRT?

Taz x 

[Taz2]

I expect you've already researched into how to overcome your fear but this site is really good at explaining about panic due to phobias and how to help yourself https://anxietycare.org.uk/phobias/medical-phobias/

Taz x

[sheila99]

It is really important you get this checked out. When I had bright red spotting it was due to pre-cancerous cells. Yours may not be but you do need to make sure.

[Donnal1964]

I have been through all the help and counselling but this isn't something I can overcome so in my case medical help is out of the question. I haven't had any bright red at all and it does finally seem to be going away, last 3 days had tiny patch of older blood when I wipe then nothing for the rest of the day. I'm not on hrt.  Thanks for all the advice

[Taz2]

I'm sorry but you do need to have this investigated. Surely it's better to go now rather than leave it and have to have more invasive procedures in the future. Your husband and daughter sound very supportive. Although panic attacks make you feel as if you are going to die you know this won't actually happen and with them beside you then you can overcome this to get any treatment you might need. Medical staff are also very good at helping you through this if they are aware of your disorder. Please reconsider.  I'm glad the spotting is improving though.

Taz x

[Kathleen]

Hello Donnal1964.

I am sorry that you are having this problem.

It may help you to know that a friend of mine had similar issues and was not on HRT. Her doctor confirmed that the bleeding was due to vaginal atrophy and it was successfully treated with topical medication.  My friend was  also struggling with anxiety and I believe that she was prescribed some valium to take during this stressful time.

My friend's  GP was very accepting and helpful  and he told her that she wasn't the first extremely anxious patient that he had helped and she wouldn't be the last so there was no need to worry.

I hope this helps you in some way.

Take care and wishing you well.

K.

[joziel]

Donna, I share some similar worries. The result is either that I am not at all worried about things and don't get them checked out when I should - or, by the time I finally do get myself to the doctor to have them checked, I'm a quivering wreck because to get to that point, it means my anxiety over what might be wrong has exceeded my anxiety over going to the doctor(!!!). As a result, the doctor thinks I'm an anxious mess. But really, allowing myself to get more anxious about whatever the issue is, than I am about going to the doctor, is the only way I will get myself to a doctor's. So that's just how it has to be. (Compare this to my husband, who is ultra logical and calm and just pops to the doctors with no worrying as soon as there is some little thing he wants to get checked...)

Which is all to say... what is going on with you might be nothing at all, or might be something which some simple local estrogen could fix - but it could also be serious. Unscheduled bleeding can be a sign of cancer - of the cervix or of the uterus. If you are scared of doctors, are you up to date on your smear tests? Please don't mess around with getting yourself seen. Take your husband or a friend with you. They can come in with you or wait in reception. Tell reception when you make the appointment that you need extra support and are anxious about doctors. Tell the doctor before explaining anything, too. They might even be able to prescribe you some Valium or beta blockers to take, which your husband can pick up before - just so you can come to your appointment. But don't just leave it and not get it examined....

You mention this fear has gone on for 3 years - did something happen, did you have a traumatic experience at a doctor's?

[Nas]

Totally agree with what the others have said.
I didn’t want to come across as harsh, but at some point in you life, you are going to have to face medical people. Your husband sounds great, but I am a strong believer that we must take control of our own health, as adults.

My partner is useless with medical stuff. I have survived breast cancer, chemo, surgeries  x many, invasive procedures and 2 hysteroscopies. I also dislike medics, but if I hadn’t plucked up the courage to go to my GP and show a male doctor the lump in my breast, I would be dead from incurable breast cancer now.

Take what ever meds you need to get through it, but don’t ignore it.

Do you have smear tests?
What if you actually need a doctor or need to go to a+e?
Or if you contract an illness that requires medical attention?

I struggle to comprehend how you would manage ?

[CLKD]

Why not send an e-mail to your Practice Nurse?  Explain your problems - after all, you had a child  was that the background to your HA? 

You are in charge of your body.  Discussion is important, what is important is the feeling of not being rushed.  If DH will go with you, take a list of what you need to talk about and make notes of the suggestions.  Fear is common, I've held many a man's hand whilst they have treatment ;-). 

Some ethnic groups find it difficult to be up front in a surgery so if that is the case, there may be a GP/Practice who would suit your needs.

Otherwise: what's the worst that can happen?  I have phobias.  Years ago Hospitals etc. smelt awful which is triggering 4 me, but it's much better these days.

Often it's pre-event anxiety that stops me, whereas in an emergency I am absolutely fine!  Booking a holiday at present is a no no 

I suggest that with the family your write a letter to your Practice Nurse.  You could then have a phone appt. to get an idea of what is required, if panic sets in DD/DH can be there to take over.  Unexplained bleeding can be all or nowt, once you've talked to a professional you are on the way to the next step. 

We are here to hold your hand though I know that probably won't help much. 

[CLKD]

U didn't respond to us on here but began a separate thread, why ?  You are likely to become lost, what's wrong with sending an e-mail as I suggested?  It's none confrontational ...... what exactly do you want to learn ?

I have a phobia and know how difficult it can be to brave necessary support.  I was housebound for many months in the 1990s, eventually appropriate medical treatment helped.  There have been times when I cannot sit in the surgery so the Nurse fetches me from the car.  Anticipation 4 me is worse than the event.  Usually.

[joziel]

Totally agree, CL - anticipation is far worse. I hate that we have to make appointments so far ahead to get one now, then I just have more time to get anxious. Whereas making it at the last minute doesn't allow much time for that!