I understand how you feel. I'm new to HRT aswell & it took awhile to build up the courage to put a patch on. I think i had one really bad day & thought enough!
It has helped with my brain fog & i think its helped with my anxiety. Before an anxiety episode would floor me for the whiole day but now i can tell myself, its just the anxiety taunting me. I couldn't do that before HRT.
I did have a few rough days & by rough i mean bad aches, bloating & a horrible health anxiety which made me think HRT was going to give me hyperthyroidism but it didn't last long & hasn't come back.
Overall i would say its been a positive experience & I'm going to continue for another two months before i decide if HRT is right for me.
What you feel about starting HRT is how i feel about AD. You want to start them. You know you need them. You know they could make you feel better...but the apprehension & reading the side effects scare you witless.
I hope you gain the courage to start the patch & as has been said by Flossieteacake, if you don't like it, you can just take the patch off.
Good luck & please let us know how you go.
Ps, when i did my patch for the first time, i put it on, on a Monday morning & knew it was going to be a busy day so my mind was occupied & i actually forgot i had it on a few times.
Don't put it on if your in the house by yourself all day as it will play on your mind. Stay busy, occupied is my advice.