Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[Pixielilac]

I have had a lot of time off due to what I thought was UTI’s,which turned out to be VA, investigations last year into bleeding and a a hospital stay.
I work in a small supermarket and am on my feet 6 hours a day, there are no chairs on checkouts, we have to stand.
Anyway my last absence was 3 weeks ago for 3 days as I was burning so much and couldn’t stop weeing. I could barely sit down let alone fill shelves/ checkouts for 6 hours.
Anyway my work use the Bradford Factor for sick leave and mine is very high, I have doctors records for every sick absence but my manager has said if it keeps happening we need to ‘take steps’ which means warnings and if it keeps happening eventually dismissall.
Do I have a leg to stand on as they say, as I can’t say that I won’t need time off again due to VA.
Anyone been in this situation please?

[Flossieteacake]

I do not have any advice but I am so sad to hear how unsupportive your work is being. VA is a nightmare and it is horrid you are in so much pain. I am sending you a virtual hug.

[Nas]

Is menopause not a protected characteristic now? Or is that something in the pipeline?

I really feel for you, as I had the exact same thing for weeks and weeks, until I could stand it no more and had to increase my systemic Oestrogen. Are you still on the femeston Conti? Can’t you increase your HRT ( or vagifem) ?

Maybe give acas a ring? Or CAB?

[Marchlove]

Awful for you x first idea that comes to mind is show your manger this thread?
If all the ladies who have suffered with this condition tell their stories and your manager reads them, might that inform and educate and hopefully
Help you?
Oh, I do so feel for you so much.
Good luck x

[Pixielilac]

Thankyou for your replies. I’m on femeston conti, I am on Vagirux four times a week and going to increase this to 5 a week.
I am also contacting the union x

[JoJo42]

I’m so, so sorry to hear this. I could really cry for you. I’ve been on vagifem and systemic HRT for a few years and recently had the absolute worst flare-up of V.A in my life. It felt like the worst U.T.I since Time began!! The pain was off the scale. It felt like a roll of barbed wire in my bladder and I was doubled-up in pain, running to the toilet every half an hour to pass about 50ml of wee. One side of the entrance to my vagina was really swollen and I literally felt like there was something squishy just inside me - as if I’d suddenly developed a prolapse, or there were blobs of thick mucous trying to come out. I couldn’t sit or walk comfortably. My vagina was so dry that even the vagifem pessaries were falling out un-dissolved! It felt so much like bad cystitis/UTI that I even took some over the counter cystitis meds and then a few days later, when it still hadn’t cleared, I sent a urine sample to the gp for the lab to test just to check for infection in case I needed antibiotics (result - negative). I was totally desperate. I increased the vagifem to repeat the loading dose for two weeks and thought it was under control, but then symptoms started to come back again when I reduced the vagifem again. I started the loading dose again and bought some Yes W.B lubricant so I could dab a little bit on the pessary before insertion. It’s all under control again now, but it took a good few weeks for the swelling to go down to the point where I wasn’t uncomfortable and aware of it all the time. My life was in tatters for a while there and I thought I was never going to get better ever again. Increasing the vagifem helped me eventually. It was depressing and extremely debilitating. People don’t realise how bad it is unless they experience it. My heart goes out to you.

Can you discuss your work situation with your doctor too so they have a record of how you feel and how it has affected you? The last thing anyone needs who has V.A  is someone a work talking about “taking steps” because of sick time. I hope you can get it sorted and get some support. Sending big hugs xxx

[CLKD]

Get your GP to write a letter to your Manager as well as copy to Headquarters?  I doubt whether 1 can be fired for time off anyway, regardless of the scale used.  Is there a Union rep that you could talk with?

It wouldn't look good for Companies to 'let workers go' due to menopause symptoms, for 1 thing that is sexist ;-). 

I would get my GP on side, get those letters written and sent for which there may be a charge: then let us know.

It would probably constructive dismissal, especially if the Company doesn't have a menopause strategy ;-)

Get that VA treatment in place, when my bladder nips I swallow 2 Nurofen capsules 3 times a day to ease that 'ouch' as the spincter shuts off the urine flow.  If necessary, put two VA treatments into place ASAP - 1 now and another this evening?  You can also add an extra in the morning. 

[Pixielilac]

JoJo42, it’s awful it really us, hugs to you too.

CLKD, I am doubling up my cream, (been back on Ovestin for a week and a half as Vagifem kept falling out undissolved) and have printed off every single doctors phone call/appointment regarding VA/UTI’s from my medical records  and taken them into work to show manager, and they are now in my file.
Now been told not to worry as all my absences are ‘connected to  the same thing’ and ‘I have proof’.
And I let them know I spoke to my union.

On the plus side, I seem to have a bit of moisture (hate that word but that’s what it is) instead of having to push the applicator in quite firmly it glides in now so things are happening down there. I’ve also been putting Ovestin on the outside bits as well as inside, usually I do applicator inside at night and cream on outside in morning.

[Flossieteacake]

JoJo42, it’s awful it really us, hugs to you too.

CLKD, I am doubling up my cream, (been back on Ovestin for a week and a half as Vagifem kept falling out undissolved) and have printed off every single doctors phone call/appointment regarding VA/UTI’s from my medical records  and taken them into work to show manager, and they are now in my file.
Now been told not to worry as all my absences are ‘connected to  the same thing’ and ‘I have proof’.

On the plus side, I seem to have a bit of moisture (hate that word but that’s what it is) instead of having to push the applicator in quite firmly it glides in now so things are happening down there. I’ve also been putting Ovestin on the outside bits as well as inside, usually I do applicator inside at night and cream on outside in morning.

I put a bit of Sylk lube on the applicator to help it slide in. It is really positive you are not so dry now. It sounds like your manager is being more understanding now. I am so pleased.

[CLKD]

Thanks for the update.  I think that opening up the conversation about menopause might be important ........ it's a learning curve for many on both sides of the desk.

[Hugsneed1958]

Oh my word poor you I too had terrible V.AFlare up I do have stage 1 cystocle prolapse in bladder and bowel but no problems weeing or incontinance.but started with back low pain low tummy period like cramps did put 4 vagifem in one week 3 next which usually works but still cramps.so went to gp she took water sample clear. Examined me with speculam and hand and  said I have grade 1 bladder prolapse that's causing problems. And sending me to urologist who might just give excersise or tablets.i asked about upping vagifem, she said only low strength don't do a lot but try it. I have upped it to 3 times week every other day and she gave me some hydrocortisone for a dry patch and use yes lubricant and use good fiber for keeping bowels good no lifting and kegal excersise for bladder.i hope this works and vagifem seems to improve it.it dose help not to get bladder infections. So going to do 3 week now and wait for appointment even though prolapse feels no different to me still think its low estrogen that caused bladder cramps. If don't use 3 week or more comes back.i have no problem passing water.so hope this has helped ladies .its a bit trile error I think.diffrent things work I find ovestin makes outer lady parts sting so as I say trile and error. Keep posting ladies experience is a great benefit to us all. I am a very health related anxiety person.at 63 hope not need any more ops I had hystorectomy 20 years ago for fybroids then had repair as pelvic floor desended and caused outside vagina prolapse had that repaired.had 11lb babies 4 of them .I think now hystorectomy last resort as have knock on effects for some.sorry about long waffle take care 🙂

[Dierdre]

Your workplace should be supporting you with this. Menopause is now recognised and treated the same as any other illness. Have you had Return to Work meetings when you have been absent to discuss your problem and support offered on your return?
Taking Steps should mean an Occupational Health appointment to assess your health and absences from work and how to support you, not warnings. Then meetings to support your return to work with changes to help support this. Contact your union if none of this is happening. Workers have rights nowadays no matter how big or small your company or supermarket is and your doctor could state on the medical note  Fit but with altered hours or duties etc. or phased return.

[CLKD]

I don't think that anyone can, legally, ask why anyone has time off work?  Certainly in a Managerial Role, my husband wasn't allowed to.   Would they ask a man for example and at interviews, nor can they ask if a woman intends to become pregnant ..........

This is new to employers so not many will be/want to know about how menopause affects people.  Women, husbands, family etc..   

MayB send an e-mail to Dr Curry - there is a charge but she may be able to advise.  Let us know!

[Nicodemus]

So sorry that your employer is doing this. Definitely get union and or ACAS advice.
The Bradford factor has been seized upon by HR departments as a great way to wind employees up by disproportionately punishing single day absences e.g. 5 single day absences will score higher than one five day absence. The wily slacker will simply adjust their slacking so that they take longer off on fewer occasions and the genuinely sick person will just get stressed out at being micromanaged by idiots.

I hope you feel a lot better soon. And sorry, no disrespect to the poster that suggested it but whatever you do, do not show your employer this thread. If the GP is supportive they should be willing to write to the employer. If this carries on after that it would be worth getting the advice of an employment lawyer if you can afford it.

[Dierdre]

I don't think that anyone can, legally, ask why anyone has time off work?  Certainly in a Managerial Role, my husband wasn't allowed to.   Would they ask a man for example and at interviews, nor can they ask if a woman intends to become pregnant

This is new to employers so not many will be/want to know about how menopause affects people.  Women, husbands, family etc..   

MayB send an e-mail to Dr Curry - there is a charge but she may be able to advise.  Let us know!

As a Business Manager and Line Manager I can asked my staff why they are absent and this is recorded and sent to HR and payroll. If staff want to be paid for their absence this is the correct way to record sickness absence under our policies and also to support staff when they return to work. All other absence may not be paid i.e non relative funeral. This is common practice in the workplace now.
Previous absence should not be discussed at interviews nor is a requirement on a reference anymore, although some do still have this question on their reference templates.
I doubt anyone would dare ask the pregnancy question. 🤣