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[SharonS]

 Hello,
I am a brand new member and was signposted to this site by a friend.
I had oestogen positive breast cancer just over 5 years ago when I was 50. The chemotherapy and ongoing aromatase inhibitor (Letrazole) plunged me into an accellerated menopause and I have made the decision to stop taking the letrazole 10 months ago because I was not coping with the side effects (joint pains, low mood, weight gain, vaginal dryness). I should have taken it for 10 years but the prospect of that was unbearable.
Since then I have had some improvement in the dryness. I have used various gels and eventually my consultant agreed for me to have a low dose oestogen gel to use locally which has helped with the internal problem.
Even with the gels, water based and oil based lubes and being very careful, I am still getting tears in my perinieum every time we try penetration. They are like paper cuts and take days to heal. It is making my life a misery and affecting how I feel about myself as well as severely impacting on my relationship with my husband. It is as though a whole chunk of my life has been taken away. I am avoidant and find it excruciating to talk about. I feel like I have asked my GP so may times and tried so many different things, I am embarassed to go back and say it's still not right.
Is there anything that would help??
I cannot take systemic HRT due to the cancer
Thank you

[Flossieteacake]

Hello Sharon_S and welcome to the forum. I really am sorry to hear of what you are going through. I understand how difficult it is to talk about this  when being avoidant. I think you did so well to join the forum and explain what is going on. It is ovestin cream you are using and how long have you been using it for?

[CLKD]

Hi! what consultants don't realise is that localised appropriate vaginal atrophy treatment is unlikely to migrate enough to cause future cancers.  Using either 'vagifem' or 'ovestin' every night the idea being to insert gently into the vagina.  It can also be smeared around the anus etc., to keep the area more supple. 

I have found 'savlon' of use in that area too.  Applied every hour until the tears begin to heal.  Also after doing a poo ;-) .  Dribbling urine can cause dryness too .......

There are different ways of delivering HRT so don't rule it out.  As for the oestrogen inhibitor drugs, I was prescribed 'tamoxifen' on an incase basis; it nearly killed me  .  As I hadn't felt physically ill, though the mental stress was obvious, I decided to stop the drug.  'in case' wasn't good enough excuse to feel really, really ill.

Browse round.  Some find that keeping a mood/food/symptom diary of use.  Did U have mastectomy?  I can't understand if, HRT is 'so' dangerous, that ladies aren't recommended to have bilateral mastectomy  because it is obvious that Consultants have no idea about how lack of HRT can affect some of us.

There are other ways of 'satisfaction' ........

[Louise2010]

Hi Sharon_S
Welcome!
I know how excruciatingly toe curling this subject can be but I plucked up the courage to talk to my gp.
She prescribed vagifem but wouldn’t ovestin so I bought some from Superdrug from their online doc service.
The first few days/nights it was a but irritating down there and I thought blimey what have I done! So I gave it time and also bought some Yes VM (vag moisturiser gel organic no nasties ) & Yes wash.
(Yes is the brand name btw).
I have to say it’s working and feels much much better. Haven’t road tested it yet 😜 as I’m having other issues but will do I’m sure in time.
The Private Lives “Burning Club” on here is a great thread for info and not feeling alone with this really challenging problem. Hope that helps. ❤️

[SharonS]

Thank you all for replying,
I am on Blissell gel and have been instructed to only use it twice a week. I can use non hormone gel in between.
I have heard of Yes and I use their oil based and water based lube together.
On the inside it's much more comfortable its just the skin at the entrance that tears. Is there anything specifically for that skin?
We do find other ways to be intimate but I just feel like I'm letting him down and worry that he will have an affair. It was one thing in our relationship that we didn't have to work at and were compatable, libido wise. I'm just so sad at the prospect of not being able to have 'proper' sex any more  I can't believe it was something we didn't have to think about and now it's such a minefield.
I didn't have a mastectomy, I had a lumpectomy, chemo, radiotherapy and letrozole

[Flossieteacake]

Thank you all for replying,
I am on Blissell gel and have been instructed to only use it twice a week. I can use non hormone gel in between.
I have heard of Yes and I use their oil based and water based lube together.
On the inside it's much more comfortable its just the skin at the entrance that tears. Is there anything specifically for that skin?
We do find other ways to be intimate but I just feel like I'm letting him down and worry that he will have an affair. It was one thing in our relationship that we didn't have to work at and were compatable, libido wise. I'm just so sad at the prospect of not being able to have 'proper' sex any more  I can't believe it was something we didn't have to think about and now it's such a minefield.
I didn't have a mastectomy, I had a lumpectomy, chemo, radiotherapy and letrozole

I understand sex is a big part of your relationship but love is so much more. You cannot help what you are going through. I think it would be better to allow your skin to heal and find out the cause before you try again because you risk tearing your skin and hurting yourself. There could be times your partner is unable to be intimate too. Life can have ups and downs and you cannot help what you are going through.

It may help to get your partner to read this link. It will help them to understand more of how you are feeling:
https://www.menopausematters.co.uk/forum/index.php/topic,2458.0.html

If you have not used the Bissell gel for very long then it could be your skin is still healing. There is every chance it will heal and you will be back to your old self. 

[CLKD]

Who has instructed you to use Bissel gel twice a week.  VA needs treatment often nightly to stop symptoms recurring.  Vagifem and Ovestin are such small amounts of active ingredient that my GP never hesitated to prescribe - I had similar treatment in 1995. 

Quality of Life is important.  I would be requesting 1 of the above ....... if the Bissel isn't easing symptoms.  Used every night for the 1st 2/3 weeks then twice a week - that is every 4th and 7th night or more when necessary.   These are really small amounts and should not migrate so won't cause further cancer risks.

I would request a referral to an NHS menopause clinic - or send an e-mail to Dr Currie who began this Forum, there is a charge for 1 specific query.   To ease any nipping when passing urine I have taken 'nurofen', 2 capsules 3/4 times a day.  It helps stop that nip as the urine flow stops.

Let us know how you get on?