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[Skylark]

Hi ladies,

I've been off sick with work stress for three months. I somehow managed to get a new job starting in just over two weeks. Hopefully it will be less stress but the stress of starting afresh and meeting new people feels overwhelming.  I'm also sad because I loved my job. I just hit a wall having to split myself into too many different people and take on more managerial duties as well as fill in the gaps in staffing (social care) all with no senior management support.

Three months later I have a way out but my confidence is at rock bottom. The mirena has finally settled my bleeds (I'm 57) but peri symptoms are at full tilt with flushes,  anxiety,  low mood, disturbed sleep,  horrendous adrenaline surges, panic attacks. Hubby is supportive,  has every confidence in me, he says,  that I'm bound to be nervous about a new job, but I should be excited because I'm brilliant. I don't think it occurs to him that after five years of total dedication and high performance in a job I loved,  I suddenly stopped going in, never to return. And this new job is no magic wand.

Doctor has written a script for oestrogel to retry now that my lining is settled, but I haven't started.  I don't know how to navigate this. I have fantasies about running away, but I love my husband and family,  I want to be here and nowhere else.

I'm doing yoga, meditating,  all the self care I can to help myself. I can't even shop without a panic attack, how on earth can I start a new job?

Can anyone relate or advise?

X

[Taz2]

Sending you a hug skylark. Did you have anxiety and panic before you had the Mirena fitted? I have a few friends who had to have theirs removed due to this side effect although it worked well for the bleeding.

I'm sure restarting the gel will improve your overall well-being especially if it gets rid of the horrible flushes. The anxiety which used to accompany each of mine was awful.

Well done in getting the new job. That must have taken a lot of courage especially as you loved your old one so much. You're bound to feel anxious at meeting new people but try to remind yourself that this will be temporary and you will soon settle in. Your husband is right - you are brilliant and don't forget it!

Taz x 

[Sazzle42115]

Hey Skylark
You can only do a day / hour at a time. I'm in the same boat at the moment. Try telling yourself that this is just a stage what would you tell your best friend. Tell yourself if you don't like the new job you can leave. Try the gel a d give it time to do its job. The days if being super woman are gone for the moment, just do what you can to get through each day. Xxxx

[Gnatty]

I'm wondering whether, while you wait for the oestrogel to kick in, it might be worth having to hand a prescription for a low dose beta blocker. That way, if you feel the adrenaline surging you can take one and it will keep the horrid physical symptoms at bay. Sometimes just knowing you have them  can have a calming effect.

[Peri-wrecked]

Hi Skylark,
I can so empathise with where you are right now. When my perimenopuse started almost 7 yrs ago now, I had awful panic attacks and it was awful. I had so many symptoms. I ended up leaving my job at the time. I was 6 months out of work and moved in with my parents  it was so hard.  But in order to break the cycle I had to find another job and I am now in the job many years qnd I still have awful perimenopause symptoms but much better than I was before with the awful panic attacks etc. I did get a xanax prescription to carry around with me for the adrenaline rushes but I never used it. Knowing it was hormones helped but it took q lot of willpower too to get back to work and you can so do this. You sound like q strong woman with a good man supporting you. Take it one day at a time and things will get better.  I'm not perfect with my symptoms qnd I have learned to try to be kind to myself and chill on the couch for hours if I have to. This stage is so difficult. I wish I had been warned of how bad it can get. You got this though. Fair play for getting the job. Best of luck 👍

[CLKD]

At 57 think about whether you need to work?  Have you and your husband sat down with the incomings and out-goings of your weekly/monthly needs.  We were surprised at how less we need now retired, as we go everywhere together. 

What gap does work fill for you?  I had to give up due to anxiety which took a lot of acceptance.  I loved my work.   .  We both have hobbies so once I began to recover I was able to fill my time, which became my own rather than rushing round pleasing others.

Coping is hard work and draining.  Anticipatory anxiety is awful, if I do something spontaneously I am much better. 

Could you go into work B4 you start, to introduce yourself to other staff members and get a 'feel' of the place?  Might put some demons to rest ;-). 

Would you consider short term 'valium' on an as necessary basis? 

[Skylark]

Hi CLKD, Peri-wrecked, Gnatty, Sazzle42115 and Taz2,

Thank you all so much for taking the time and trouble to answer.

Yes, I had the symptoms before the coil so I can't blame that.  I think I narrowly escaped a breakdown- or did I? I still wonder. I've been covering up a lot.

The beta blockers might be an idea although I tried them years ago without much luck. My main worry with the oestrogel is if it sets my bleeds off again and whether it will have kicked in by the time I start work? Also I used it at night before but I gather lots of women use it in the morning? What's best?

CLKD, I would love to retire. I have plenty I could fill my time with. Sadly it really isn't an option. Second marriage. We started again from scratch and hubby is a support worker so we are on a low income as it is.

I feel better knowing others understand.

Thank you all x

[Sazzle42115]

Take care and keep in touch xxx

[CLKD]

Let us know how you get on. 

[sheila99]

I recognise the feeling of wanting to run away. If it wasn't for DD who was too young to leave I probably would have done. Hrt was the turning point for me. Maybe give it a try? It changed my life, hopefully it'll do the same for you.

[Sazzle42115]

Sheila what was your regime and how long till you felt better

[sheila99]

Evorel sequi at the time, now gel and utro. It took 3 months for my anxiety and insomnia to go completely.

[Skylark]

Thanks,  ladies.

Sheila99, I've taken the plunge and started Oestrogel today. My doctor prescribed 2 pumps per day which is what I was on two years ago (however with utrogestan then) but I have started with one.  Is that silly? I feel like I want to start slowly.  As I've had no bleeding -since the spotting after the coil was fitted stopped- I'm hoping things have settled now.  Would you expect me to (ideally) not have monthly bleeds if I have the Mirena as continuous progesterone? Also,  how long does it take to feel some improvement? I can't remember how I felt when I first tried HRT seven years ago!

I'm trying to think positively!

X

[sheila99]

Starting with a low dose is a sensible move when you've had a long break without oestrogen. Most are bleed free with a mirena but isn't unusual to get some in the first 6 months of any new conti regime.
Flushes usually go in a couple of weeks, other symptoms take longer. My anxiety and insomnia took 3 months to go completely. Good luck!

[Skylark]

Sheila99,  thanks so much. This gives me hope. Much brighter yesterday but my anxiety is awful again this morning so I know it must be way too early to feel any benefit.  I was prescribed oestrogen pessaries a few weeks ago to help with vaginal and bladder symptoms   I hadn't started when I spoke to the doctor again and she prescribed Oestrogel. It was a telephone consultation and I wasn't feeling great but I'm sure she said I could use both? Do you know if this is the case? I've tried to find a thread with this ...

Sorry for all the questions! 😀

X