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[Skylark]

Hi ladies,

I posted a few days ago and have a lot going on. I'm struggling with low mood and anxiety. Usually I can keep on top of these things but there have been so many stresses and changes lately I feel overwhelmed.  It's almost like grief. I think my hormones are all over the place but my GP hasn't wanted to put me back on HRT until my biopsy results are back. (I had to wait 6+ months for a follow up). The anxiety from that is adding to everything. I had a couple of days sick and used some leave but was hoping to feel better. Due back at work in the next few days and I always push myself through as I know staying off longer can make it harder to return and I'm rarely off sick for that reason. But the thought of it, especially knowing it will mean going back to significant stress, is making me feel constantly tearful and panicky. I don't know if I should be pushing myself or if I should be listening to my feelings. I can't see much improving as my role is high pressure and we are short staffed. It's hard when you feel on top form. Ordinarily I love my job. Should I be taking more time off sick (then I will feel overwhelming guilt) or should I push through and take one day at a time?

I feel so alone in my own head and no amount of mindfulness and self care is helping now.

X

[Flossieteacake]

Hi ladies,

I posted a few days ago and have a lot going on. I'm struggling with low mood and anxiety. Usually I can keep on top of these things but there have been so many stresses and changes lately I feel overwhelmed.  It's almost like grief. I think my hormones are all over the place but my GP hasn't wanted to put me back on HRT until my biopsy results are back. (I had to wait 6+ months for a follow up). The anxiety from that is adding to everything. I had a couple of days sick and used some leave but was hoping to feel better. Due back at work in the next few days and I always push myself through as I know staying off longer can make it harder to return and I'm rarely off sick for that reason. But the thought of it, especially knowing it will mean going back to significant stress, is making me feel constantly tearful and panicky. I don't know if I should be pushing myself or if I should be listening to my feelings. I can't see much improving as my role is high pressure and we are short staffed. It's hard when you feel on top form. Ordinarily I love my job. Should I be taking more time off sick (then I will feel overwhelming guilt) or should I push through and take one day at a time?

I feel so alone in my own head and no amount of mindfulness and self care is helping now.

X

Hello Skylark. I am sad to hear how low you are feeling. You sound like you are trying to do such a lot of things at once too. I wonder if taking some time off work would give you a chance to rest and not have the added stress of work? I understand you will feel guilty but I believe mental well being has to come first.

[Teresa]

Hello Skylark,

I was signed off by my GP for 3 months in the end, during the late Summer due to debilitating anxiety and I totally understand where you are coming from and I am sorry you feel so low as it is horrible. I am not sure of your problems but it sounds like it is adding to your worry. I am still not able to work fully and am having a lot of brain fog, unable to concentrate and it sounds like you might be similar too and it’s not surprising. 

 I do wonder if it is best to have a chat with your GP on Monday and ask to be signed off for a small period as it is just adding to your stress? Tell them how stressed and panicky you are feeling. Tell them exactly what you’ve told us. I can’t see them saying no as they know what you are going through. You shouldn’t have to use your leave for being unwell and as Flossie says, your health comes first.

Teresa
X

[Skylark]

Hi Flossie and Theresa,

Thanks so much for your kind and thoughtful replies. I'm so sorry you've been struggling too, Theresa. I feel like I've been holding everything together for so long and now I'm slowly coming undone. Workplace stress has a lot to do with it and the personal stuff just adds to the pressure. I just don't feel like me. 

I will try and take some time even though I know this will put pressure on my team. It's almost like I need permission to put myself first.

Thank you for being here.

X

[Flossieteacake]

Hi Flossie and Theresa,

Thanks so much for your kind and thoughtful replies. I'm so sorry you've been struggling too, Theresa. I feel like I've been holding everything together for so long and now I'm slowly coming undone. Workplace stress has a lot to do with it and the personal stuff just adds to the pressure. I just don't feel like me. 

I will try and take some time even though I know this will put pressure on my team. It's almost like I need permission to put myself first.

Thank you for being here.

X

I think having time off work is such a good idea. I know you feel bad for your team but this really cannot be helped. I think forcing yourself to work will only harm your mental well being in the long term. I hope you will be gentle with yourself for allowing yourself to have some time to recover.

[CLKD]

OK - we all worry about 'the team'.  However, if you had a broken leg or removal of appendix they would manage?

If you tell them how stressed you are, perhaps your line manager can delegate or rearrange schedules to help all of the team?  If 1 took another job? 

Let us know how you get on.  In the mean time, perhaps ask for an anti-depressant medication for 6-8 months if your GP won't prescribe HRT.

[Skylark]

Thanks CLKD. I've taken sick leave and am going to contact doctor.

I'm sick with anxiety as it's now 10 days since my biopsy.

X

[Flossieteacake]

Thanks CLKD. I've taken sick leave and am going to contact doctor.

I'm sick with anxiety as it's now 10 days since my biopsy.

X

Good luck contacting your doctor. I hope it goes well.

[CLKD]

I am quite sure that if the biopsy had flagged any alarms, your GP would know by now.  Could you ring the Dept. directly?

In the mean time rest.   The team will cope or the work simply won't get done. 

[JoJo42]

I’m so sorry you’re feeling really low. I totally empathise - I have severe anxiety too and also felt like this when I had a “meno meltdown” at 42. Don’t feel guilty about taking the time off that you really need to get well and get on top of everything that is happening at the moment and know where you are at with your health, and hrt. Go back when you feel well and ready. x

[Skylark]

Thank you, JoJo, I'm sorry you've been feeling so awful too.

I got a note for 2 weeks initially from my doctor. My manager called me unexpectedly and while she made all the right noises she said she'd send me a stress risk assessment to complete (!) So while someone is off with stress and anxiety you send them a risk assessment?!.She also said she was sorry I was too unwell to come to work. I know this is management speak but shouldn't she just be concerned I'm unwell?

Still no news on my biopsy results which I'm now convinced must be bad news (gone for further testing and/discussion) and I'm too scared and low to phone the department especially as the nurse originally said "if I don't phone it's because i haven't had your results". I have been in a constant state of churning anxiety for 12 days now on top of the anxiety I usually feel. Told the doctor this yesterday but he made no comment.

Thank you for listening ladies.

X

[JoJo42]

Aww, so sorry you’re having a rough time. “Stress risk assessment” …what the hell!? After two weeks off - go back and get another sick note. Don’t let management chase you back to work. In my experience they only want to get you back asap because you care, you’re conscientious and they can get back to piling the pressure on knowing full well you’ll get on and knock yourself out to do the work.

It’s hard not to worry about testing and results. They seem to take forever, but it sounds like they are being  thorough with further testing and discussion. I always fear the worst and that is part of the hell of anxiety isn’t it. I worry and worry and then its reaches critical levels…like a spaceship under attack with all alarms going off and then I seems to kick into action mode…like Captain Kirk…taking back control of the Enterprise. Now I’m thinking: “JoJo what the hell are waffling on about? Shut up!!”My brain is definitely an alien!

Sending you all best wishes and a massive hug xxx

[Skylark]

Hi JoJo,

That made me smile. I'd reached saturation point yesterday and fell asleep, missing a call from the hospital. When I managed to speak to them the news was reassuring: I still have disordered proliferative endometrium but the biopsy was otherwise much better than last time so I will now be reviewed in 6 months.  In the meantime hopefully the Mirena will get to work. My stress levels went down several notches immediately.

Work still casts a shadow but I'm.going to try and focus on self care for the next few days and see how that goes.

Thank you for all the support, it has been such a blessing.

X

[Flossieteacake]

Hi JoJo,

That made me smile. I'd reached saturation point yesterday and fell asleep, missing a call from the hospital. When I managed to speak to them the news was reassuring: I still have disordered proliferative endometrium but the biopsy was otherwise much better than last time so I will now be reviewed in 6 months.  In the meantime hopefully the Mirena will get to work. My stress levels went down several notches immediately.

Work still casts a shadow but I'm.going to try and focus on self care for the next few days and see how that goes.

Thank you for all the support, it has been such a blessing.

X

It is wonderful the biopsy went better then last time. I hope you can focus on self care. You deserve some pampering.

[JoJo42]

Oh I am so pleased for you that the news was reassuring and the biopsy was much better than last time. I keep my fingers-crossed  that the Mirena gets to work! You need a really good rest now. All that stress - you must be exhausted. Great idea to focus on self care. You definitely deserve some pampering after all the issues and worry. When work rings you, just speak in a voice like Yoda and tell them they’ve got the wrong number!! xx