Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[VictoryV]

Hi Lida,
I’m sorry things are so tough.
My GP said the HRT can take several weeks to work, she couldn’t answer how long etc. Our bodies are getting used to the new hormones and building our reserves back up. I wanted an actual date but there wasn’t one.
I’ve recently tapered off a sleep med that I’d been on for years. I thought it’d be easy as I didn’t think I relied on it. I was wrong. I don’t think I’d ever have got off the med if I’d focussed on how long tapering took. The tapering plan was adjusted a couple of times too.
To look at the end was too daunting and turned out to be pointless.
You’re doing so well. Hang in there and good luck with the psychiatrist.
Sending hugs.
V.x

[Lida]

Thank you for your kind words of encouragement Victoria.
I've finding it really hard not to focus on how long it's going to take me to come off the medication because I feel so awful. I get so frustrated with myself. I have my psychologist today too and I will discuss with her.

[Shell babes]

Lida - hope you get on ok with your appointment today, please let us know how you get on.

Regarding HRT and AD’s - long story short, it took me a good few months to start feeling any better because I had to try different HRT’s as I struggled with side effects, I am so sensitive to any increase or decrease in hormones.  I had problems with the progesterone part so had to trial different versions until I settled on one that I could just about tolerate.  Not everyone is the same and it may be that you get along with the first one you have tried.

I still struggle with anxiety first thing in the morning and have spent so long trying to fight it but the fight is pointless so I try to live alongside it and not add fuel to the fire.  It seems to get better as the day goes on.    I am a lot better than I was so am grateful for that. 

After a recommendation on this website, I looked up Prof John Studd at the Women’s health clinic in London and couldn’t believe my eyes.  I was reading all about myself in the section titled ‘reproductive hormonal depression.’  It was a relief to realise that there was a reason behind all of my problems.  I had PND after I gave birth 18 years ago and was ok in between until meno hit and the same again, but worse.  Bloody hormones!

Have faith, you will get better.

Xx

[Lida]

Hi Shell,
Thank you for your reply. I had a look at that article and that is me to a t! I also had PND after the birth of one of my children. Makes me so cross that it wasn't recognised and I wasn't put on HRT at the start of all this, then I wouldn't be in the predicament I am now.
My psychiatrist has prescribed more diazepam to get me off the Quetiapine  I have reservations about this given how addictive diazepam is but I can't see any other way. I really wasn't coping with trying to reduce it without anything to take the edge off it. I'll just have to see how I get on.
I'm trying to take one day at a time and not catastrophise.
It's really hard to have faith, but it is comforting to hear your story and to know you got through a similar situation.

[Lida]

I'm really struggling today.
I'm just looking for some support and encouragement.
Thanks in advance.

[Postmeno3]

I haven't read through all of this thread, but what seems to be screaming out is the finding of someone to hold your hand. Can you visualise that? Just having your hand held. Someone reaching out to you, to really hear how desperately hard this feels (and validate you in it) is out there somewhere. You are needing to feel safe. Whether a family member, friend, reputable gp in a face-to-face, close neighbour or Samaritan, there is someone who can listen and share the load, even carry it for you for a while. Psychiatry is too cold and clinical for what you need just now. It can provide your practical requirements, essential too for sure, but maybe not the heart. Find someone with a generous heart to take you into it and hold you there.

[Hopeful]

Dear Lida
Sending you a hug. I can understand how terrible you feel and your need to reach out. How brave you are to reach out to us and share your struggles. I hope things will gradually improve for you but in the meantime reach out here as often as you need.
I am sure there are many members who are suffering just like you and are finding strength your sharing.
I am sending love your way

[Lida]

Thankyou for your kind replies.
Postmeno3 I have a psychologist, my mum and my friends who have all been a good support. But there are many hours in the day that I am alone with my spiraling thoughts and that makes me feel very panicky.
I'm trying to keep busy and will meet a friend every day at least once for a walk but it's the hours in between I struggle with. I also know that I am the only one who can get myself out of this and that frightens me because I don't feel very strong
I does help me to post on here and to hear other people's stories and words of encouragement.
I feel like I'm in a pit at the moment that is hard to get out of. I just want to get back to the mum/wife/friend that I was before all this.

[Shell babes]

Lida - sorry for the delay in replying. I think you are doing the right and only thing which is to take Diazepam whilst tapering off Quetiapine.  I can imagine it being a horrible process but it will be well worth it in the end.  I am sorry that you are struggling and don’t feel strong, I know exactly what you mean, but you will get through this. 

I know it’s difficult when you have been stressed for so long and you start to panic about everything which undermines your confidence and then you feel that you can’t cope.  If you taper off Quetiapine and then eventually Diazepam then you can allow the citalopram and HRT to balance hormones/ chemicals etc.  It’s hard to believe that hormones, if out of balance or too low or too high, can make you feel so dreadful. 

Take each day at a time and remember that you are far from alone.  Keep posting.

Sending you a big hug xx

[Lida]

Thanks for the reply Shell.
I slept a lot yesterday due to the diazepam and am feeling very guilty that I'm so removed from family life.
Diazepam worries me, as I have already said because it's so addictive. I'm still managing to go out for my daily walks and doing a bit of housework but that is about all I'm doing.  The thought of doing anything else makes me incredibly anxious.

[Lida]

I had the psychologist today and I asked her if she thinks I'll get better. Her reply was - yes, if you believe you will.
I don't believe I will!! Now I'm worried I'm stuck like this forever, the thought is intolerable.
I asked the psychiatrist the same thing recently and she said believing that I wont get better is a symptom of my anxiety and that I will get better. Who should I believe? I have very little faith in myself and I know I am the only one who can get myself out of this.
Any thoughts/words of encouragement would be greatly appreciated.
Thank you in advance. X

[Gnatty]

Morning Lida, I agree that when we are in the depths of anxiety, believing that we are stuck like this forever is absolutely what happens! It becomes unimaginable that we shall ever recover. All I can say to you is that is exactly how I was in the summer, and here I am now, six months later feeling so much better. Try not to look too far ahead, concentrate on getting through the next ten minutes, then the next. See if you can notice when your thoughts start to spiral and gently bring them back to whatever you are doing. So if you are say vacuuming concentrate with all your might on that task. It might give you a bit of respite. Mindfulness really does help but it needs a bit of practice. Someone on here recommended a book which I have found to be very useful. I hope your medicine really starts to help you soon. Sending hugs x

[Lida]

Thanks Gnatty.
What was the book? Do you remember?
I just feel so wretched it the moment.

[Gnatty]

Amazon link:
Mindfulness by Mark Williams and Danny Penman.

[Postmeno3]

It is difficult for you, isn't it?!
You can try very simple, everyday tasks mindfully as Gnatty suggests. Brushing teeth is a good one, as is drinking tea/coffee because these two really bring in the senses which keeps you in your body rather than your mind. What do you experience through taste, smell, hear, touch, sight in these activities? Really stay with these responses, savouring and dwelling in each one for as long as you can and, as Gnatty says, with all your "might". Practice, practice, practice. Just choose one and try to stick with it. Maybe the hot drink as you will be doing that more often in a day, so more opportunity. Easy to do unobtrusively if out and about, too. It's just about taking your awareness as fully as possible into your moment by moment experience and, in a sense, being in control. I hope you can give this a go! 🙏