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[CLKD]

I have walked out of several therapy sessions in the 1990s due to lack of empathy.  I know about the fight/flight response. Knowing doesn't stop those feelings.  Nor does knowing that I won't die due to them.  But once anxiety kicks in, my mind goes blank  .   I never had a panic attack whilst in a session, I often wonder how they would have reacted!


I also know that therapists would be out of a job if conquering anxiety was as easy as they suggest    They don't know how to listen nor have experience in order to be sympathetic. 

[Suzysheep]

It’s very frustrating!
Just a throwaway comment can make someone feel worthless.

Well done CLKD for walking out!! X

[Lida]

The problem is there has been no consistency. I've spoken to so many people, the new psychologist will be the 3rd one I've seen.
The psychiatrist I'll be seeing today is also the 3rd one I've seen. Mental health services are so rubbish just now.
I have a list of questions for the psychiatrist, I'm hoping that she will be able to give me some answers and reassurance. I've also been told about the flight or flight response many times, doesn't help me in the moment though, nor does telling myself I am in control. My rational mind tells me I am, but in that moment I'm not feeling rational. The physicality of the symptoms is really frightening and horrible. When I feel an anxiety attack coming on I start to panic and that just make things worse.
I has some phenergan in the house Suzysheep and took it last night. Still woke up at 3 and wasn't able to get back to sleep.
I tried to keep myself busy yesterday but it was such a struggle .

[Lida]

I've just been reading through the replies and I see you're on venlaflaxin suzysheep. The last psychiatrist I saw said that could be an option for me, but it will take time for my body to adjust to it and it will initially make me feel worse. I don't know if I can cope with that! How did you find ot when you started taking it?

[Suzysheep]

I’m not going to lie… I felt absolutely awful… but I was coming off the citalopram at the same time. I nearly gave in, but I’m glad I didn’t. It helped me so much. It stopped all panic attacks and reduced the anxiety right down.

It’s rough, but worth it!

[Lida]

How long did it last before you felt better?
I saw the psychiatrist yesterday and have now to come off the quetiapine at a rate of 25mg per week and remain on the diazepam. It's going to take 8 weeks.
I've been on the HRT for 2 weeks now. No difference so far. I just want to feel better.

[Suzysheep]

It took about a week to get through the side effects. By 2 weeks I felt like my old self.

That’s a long time to taper off and be on a lower dose. I think you need to just grit your teeth and go for it, and hopefully the HRT will kick in and help, and you’ve got the diazepam in the mean time.

How many phenergan did you take the other night? You can have 2 if you need them.

[Lida]

I've been awake since 2.30. Gave up trying to get back to sleep and got up.
I'm so fed up  of the constant anxiety. I feel so awful. I started my lower dose of quetiapine last night. I don't know if it's that but I feel particularly bad this morning. 

[VictoryV]

Hi Lida,

I hope you managed to get back to sleep. Do you prefer this psychiatrist to the last one? It’s good that they are tapering you off the Quetiapine opposed to just stopping it. Tapering should be kinder and you’ve got enough to cope with already.

I hope the HRT helps soon.

Victoria.x

[Suzysheep]

Sorry you’re struggling so much. Just try and sleep when you can. Go back to bed in the day if you need to.x

[Lida]

Thanks for your replies Suzy and Victoria.
The psychiatrist was nice. I have a new psychologist too who I definitely prefer to the last one.
I had to phone the psychiatrist today about my medication because I was feeling so shit. I'm now deviding up my dose, hoping that will make a difference.
I'm trying to keep myself busy today to take my mind off things. I'm just back from a long walk and I'm going to go to my mum's this afternoon. I'm really hoping my mood settles down because I'm not sure I can take 8 weeks of this.

[Lida]

Just had another night of very broken sleep. Awake at 2 again. 
I took a diazepam to try and get myself back off to sleep. It didn't work and now I feel bad that I took it when I've worked so hard to reduce my daily dose.
I'm feeling awful. Like I've totally lost my mind.

[Suzysheep]

I’m sorry you’re struggling so much.
Don’t be hard on yourself about the diazepam. Don’t even think about coming off it until you are stronger.
What strength diazepam do you take?

Just keep reminding yourself that things will get better. I was practically having a breakdown… and I came out the other side with the right medication.

[Lida]

Thanks Suzy.
I took the 2mg dose. I feel like I am having a breakdown. I'm barely surviving. I'm just hoping the hrt kicks in and I feel better soon.

[Suzysheep]

2mg won’t really do much. I would take at least 5 mg to even make a slight difference. Please ask your dr for a higher strength to get you through the medication transition.
Keep taking the phenergan at night if it helps any.

I know what you are going through, I felt like I was having a full on break down. It’s horrible. But you will get through this xxx hugs