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[Lida]

I've just joined. I'm 47 and really struggling with severe anxiety that's been going on for 3 months now. I've been signed off my work and an struggling to cope with life. I've been prescribed medication for my anxiety that I don't think is helping and I feel at a loss and can't see a way out. I'm trying to wean myself off diazepam just now and am struggling to cope even though I'm tapering it off at a very slow pace. (1 mg a week) I'm also on citalopram and quetiapine and zoplicone for sleeping. I feel totally paralyzed with anxiety. Like lve changed into a person who I don't recognise. I just want the old me back. I feel like a terrible parent to my children because I'm barely able to function. My husband has been supportive practically but not emotionally. He doesn't want to hear about how I'm feeling and I feel so alone.
I've just started HRT and have been told that might help with my anxiety and I desperately hope it will.
Has anyone else suffered badly with anxiety. How did you manage? I honestly don't know if I can go on like this.

[CLKD]

Let your husband deal with the daily nitty-gritty.

1mg 'valium' won't touch severe anxiety. How often were you taking it?  Initially my GP gave me 10mg 3 times a day for a week which saved my Life.  The next week he dropped it to 10mg twice a day for 2 weeks then 5mg .......... after 5 weeks I was able to function and leave the. house again, using 5mg on an 'as necessary' basis for several years.  For events that I was unable to ge tout of, the night B4 knowing that I could take another mid-morning.  Never required the extra dose.

Now I have an emergency anti-anxiety pill which I haven't required for 3 years (although lock down was the best year ever).

Some find that keeping a mood/food/symptom diary useful to chart progress.  Are you still having periods? 

How much Citalopram ?

[Lida]

Thank you for replying.
I started on 10mg a day and I've tapered to 7mg a day. I was on 10mg a day for 3 weeks and have been tapering for 3 weeks. I don't think it was helping me and I want to come off it. I'm on 40mg citalopram and 200mg quetiapine I don't think the quetiapine is working and also want to come off that. I was originally prescribed 300mg a day but had horrible side effects (extreme shakiness, feeling really spaced out and out of control) I tried to taper off, but ended up in a and e because I got myself into such a state. So I'm remaining on the quetiapine for the time being.
I've had bouts of anxiety throughout my life but never as bad as this and research led me to believe it could be the menopause. GP was not convinced so I had to go to private gynaecologist to get HRT. I'm really hoping it will make a difference

[Lida]

I'm still having periods but they have become much closer together (every 2 to 3 weeks).

Are you on HRT? How do you manage your anxiety now?

Did you have a history of mental illness?

[Dierdre]

I suffered with anxiety and panic attacks in my 40's, I realise now it was probably the start of menopause and a drop in hormones.  Hopefully the HRT will help and you will start to feel less anxious as it balances your hormones. In the meantime I would still take the diazepam, I had 5mg a day for a while and just knowing it was there made me feel less anxious, like a security blanket. Talking about anxiety to anyone who will listen is the best medicine especially if they have suffered too.  I also read alot about anxiety to try to understand why i was feeling this way and   that also helped and made it less scary.
Hope you feel better soon and I'm sure you'll get alot of good advice on here.

[Lida]

Thanks for replying Deirdre
Ive been advised to stop the diazepam.because of all the other medication I'm on.
The prospect of getting through every day when I wake up at 3 is horrible..I'm really shaky and I have an awful burning sensation in my chest. The only relief I get is when I'm asleep and i dread every day.
I'm sorry this is all so negative, I'm feeling so hopeless and just wanted to reach out to others who might have experienced this and got through it. I feel suicidal

[Floo36]

I am sometimes in the place where you are now, it is frightening.  For me it is low Estrogen along with fluctuations that cause the severe anxiety, panic and terror.  Getting your Estrogen levels up should help, I’m still struggling to get enough Estrogen in to me but won’t give up because the alternative is too frightening. 

If the current HRT doesn’t start to help then you may need to increase the dose or change the type.

[CLKD]

1mg isn't a lot.  Unlikely to make much difference with the other meds..  When I weaned off an AD many years ago my head was saying 'what if I can't tolerate the withdrawal, what if I have to go back on it'.  I realised after a week that each time I dropped the amount, I had bounce back anxiety which lasted 24 hours.  It didn't get any worse.  It took 9 weeks under supervision.

I had my first panic attack at age 3.  Recently I realised it was due to upheaval in my Life: a sudden move from a secure environment into a situation of constant rowing and noise.  I became anorexic, diagnosed at age 5 and apparently I 'would grow out of it'.  Didn't  .  So various states of anxiety all my Life helped by a good GP and medication.  Depression was a separate issue.

It is not negative, it's how you feel.  Physicality is very often under estimated.  This could be hormonal so the HRT should help but it can be a bit of shifting and moving the dose to find stability, especially if you are getting periods.  My GP gave me a beta blocka to ease that early morning anxiety surge.

.... and breath.  Try not to plan too far ahead.  Let your husband take over the necessaries, everything else can wait!  Little steps.  If sleep eases the anxiety, then sleep.  If you had 'flu or a heavy cold you would sleep. 

[Dierdre]

Did the doctor say how long it would take for your medication to start controlling your anxiety, i know diazepam is an instant fix but does the other medicines take a while to start working? 
Try not to think about getting through the day or even planning the day, when the day starts just go with the flow and do whatever you feel you can manage, if its nothing much, thats ok.  Feeling anxious all the time and waking up at 3am is draining so if you need a nap anytime, take one.  Have you tried Yoga or other relaxation techniques also vigorous exercise can help. I would also speak again to your doctor to update him/her how you are feeling and if there is more they can do to help. Dont be sorry for feeling like this, you've done nothing wrong and it happens sometimes.

[CLKD]

I think that you may be on too many anxiety suppressants. 

Is quetiapine good for anxiety?
Research shows that Seroquel can be particularly effective in treating generalized anxiety disorder. In a large 2016 study, researchers studied the effectiveness of quetiapine as a treatment for generalized anxiety disorder.   22 Jan 2021

Why does your GP think that you require this particular medication?  It isn't a 'usual' treatment for anxiety unless there are other mental problems.  1mg of Valium is unlikely to be effective when used with it.

[CLKD]

Don't worry about the navigation of the Forum, I think there are too many 'rooms' when a new member arrives 

[VictoryV]

Hi and Welcome Lida,
 I haven’t got experience of anxiety like you or like many others on here but it crippled me for about a 5 weeks and nearly retired me off at 49. That was nearly 3 months ago and I don’t have anxiety now. HRT works but needs time.
Well done on tapering Diazepam, keep going with it, you’re doing really, really well. It sounds like your GP is supporting the taper which is brilliant. Maybe you feel like the other meds aren’t working, your Doctor and Consultant know you, I would only take medication advice from them.

Suicidal thoughts, please don’t sit on your own with those feelings. Tell your docs, friends, family and remember the Samaritans and Mind helplines.
You’re still there for your kids, be kind to you, cut yourself some slack. You need time to recover/ re-set your new hormones.

Keep posting.

Victoria.x

[Lida]

Thanks for your reply Victoria. I've reached out to everyone I can think of and I feel like I'm banging my head against a brick wall.
I'm consumed with negative thoughts and feel so frustrated with myself because of this. I feel so anxious and jittery all the time, there is no respite. I've just had a conversation with my mum, but I didn't want to say how bad things have got because I know she worries and she's seen first hand of how bad things have been because I was staying with her for a while a couple of months ago. She thinks I'm getting better, but if anything I'm getting worse. I just can't see a way out. My mum thinks that I'm not trying hard enough but I feel so worn out with it all I don't feel capable of getting myself out of this and that is terrifying. People have said to me throughout that there is no quick fix and I just have to be patient. I could accept that if I'd seen some improvement, but I haven't.
I just don't know what to do with myself  I'm so agitated I can't concentrate on anything or manage to sleep during the day because I cant switch off. The only way I can sleep is when I've taken a sleeping pill so I go to bed really early because that is the only respite I get. I feel like I should not have accepted all the medication I've been put on so readily, but I wasn't really aware that the menopause could be the root cause of my symptoms.
I feel so hopeless.

[CLKD]

It does feel hopeless.  I would be asking for a referral to a dedicated menopause clinic, not a gynaecologist as they don't know much about HRT and how low oestrogen can impact. 

Cut yourself some slack as suggested.  How often do you take a sleeping pill?  I was given 5 nights' worth, but after 2 nights of good sleep I didn't need anymore for several weeks.  The side effects can cause depression and anxiety.  The brain gets into the 'will I sleep, will I need more' scenario 

How is your diet?  Anxiety can be made worse if the body lacks energy.  Those surges can be awful ........ it will pass!  I found that journalling helped: vent, vent, vent - out of my head, onto the page and away!

[Suzysheep]

Lida,
I’m so sorry to hear how your struggling. I was exactly like you a month ago. I was so anxious, jittery, suicidal…. All because I stopped HRT. Hormones are powerful things for sure.
Things WILL get better, I assure you that… I felt stuck like I was going to be like it for ever.. but I’m so much better now.
I was on citalopram, but it really wasn’t working for me, so I was switched to venlafaxine. It has really been my saviour.
How long have you been on the citalopram?
I was also given an antihistamine called phenergan… it really helped with my sickness, jittery restless legs and morning anxiety.

Read through my post on this section of the forum called’ crippling anxiety and noise sensitivity’