Hello Ladies,
I'm not sure if anyone can advise me on a really debilitating problem I am having. I am at the end of my tether and feel absolutely horrendous.
I have been post menopausal for 7yrs since I was 46. I'm now 53 nearly 54 and have had HRT all this time, I was on Kliofem 2mg/1mg for these years.
Back in 2019 I had to be taken off HRT overnight due to blood spotting even though I've not had periods for many years. It turns out I had a growing cyst on my ovary.
During this period of them taking me off HRT I had the most awful debilitating anxiety, every waking moment it was a feeling of impending doom. My head just couldn't work or function properly, everyday joys that I loved like music and reading became an absolute zero in my life, I couldn't face them. Then nausea would set in and my appetite disappeared completely, I lost about 2stone and looked gaunt and grey and just really ill. I got to a point where I totally understood why people took their own lives. I could never see it before, but all of a sudden I could see it.
After 5months of living like this i went back to my Dr and begged to go back on HRT and I'll take my chances with the ovarian cyst and spotting etc. Within 4-6wks I was back to myself again, oh wow, how good it felt to enjoy certain aspects of life again, like my reading and music and food.
Fast forward 2yrs to May 2021 and I had both my ovaries and fallopian tubes removed due to said cyst, as it was bigger than they would like and so this was the decision that was made. Everything was fine for 3mths, then in August the dread started growing in my chest again, that doom feeling was getting bigger everyday. After the op I carried on taking the same HRT that I have been on all these years so why was this feeling coming back.?
Once I realised i was getting the exact same thing happening to me like before in 2019 when I was on no HRT I tried speaking to the Dr, unfortunately the Drs are at a loss really and I am terrified I have got to live like this for the rest of my days. Losing weight again, no joy in anything at all, the days roll into 1 and all I want to do is hide away, I am starting to feel numb, my head cannot take loud noises now either its like an echo in there.
The one Dr I spoke to has given me the gel and told me to use 3pumps a day for a month and to see how it goes, I'm now 3wks in and its getting worse as the days go on, I am on Utrogestan 1 a day aswell.
I don't understand why its as though I'm not on anything again just because my ovaries have gone, when I wasn't having periods for the last 7yrs anyway, plus I've still been on HRT since the op back in May.
Please if anyone has any suggestions I am open to anything that can help me. I'm not living a life at the moment I'm just existing again. I have a husband, a pubescent 13yr old son and 2 grand daughters also and I just cant live a life with them that I can find joy in anymore whilst I have this debilitating anxiety going on. I am at my wits end now.
Thank you so much in advance ladies.