Let your Mum do what she needs to do. 74 is young. Was her getting to the Hospital the issue?
Mine wouldn't accept help even when offered, then moan about the waiting at the bus stop etc.
Once a week we need to practice opening that chocolate wrapper . The next day, practising how to enjoy what's behind the wrapper ?
'stress resilience' - good phrase!
CLKD, it went from bad to worse
I didn't call her or speak to her, I was absolutely wiped out so I didn't even reply here, I had no energy whatsoever and it went on for a week or two, could have been I was in contact with covid, I don't know, no symptoms, but just wondering because of being so wiped out.
Anyway, my mother did a marathon (for her), walked to the bus station, got the bus, walked from bus to hospital, walked around the hospital, back out of the hospital and up a steep hill to the bus, back home on the bus, off at the bus station and then a walk home. She did all that rather than call and make peace. If you think she only walks about ten yards at the moment and then hops in my car for everything (the ten yards will be from the car to a coffee shop, but not any other shop as she's quite happy for me to go in those while she waits in the car
).
I found out about her adventure 3 days later when she decided to talk. Strangely she walked the next day into town (ten mins) to go to the pharmacy and then again the following day before deciding she was thoroughly knackered and had better speak to me after all.
I am not one of those controlling people, I want her to be independent and do her own thing, etc, but she seems to be continually manouvreing (can't spell) to put me into leader role and her follower. She also seems to want me to step into my dad's shoes and 'be' her husband. She won't call the rest of her family (many siblings) and unfortunately one of them doesn't seem to want her to call anyway, even though they were a close family. She says they are not 'her's' whereas her husband (now deceased) and her daughter are. Hence what I'm up against. I'm just an extension of 'her' life in her mind.
Sorry to go on