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Author Topic: Feeling safe on our streets  (Read 1771 times)

CLKD

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Feeling safe on our streets
« on: March 14, 2021, 03:55:47 PM »

I have never worried about walking alone either in surrounding fields, pathways or in the towns.  Years ago I would get whistled at, it never bothered me as it was done in good humour. [aged 17ish]. I never wore mini-skirts, Dad wouldn't allow them  :(.  Rolled over the tops of skirts occasionally though  ;)

Apparently Priti Patel is reopening a complaints site for women to report harassment on the streets.  I was totally unaware of this facility.  How would 1 get to learn about such a place on which to state experiences?  No where in the Times article of yesterday does it state the how to access this 'review'.  "While an awful incident like this is incredibly rare .......... " she didn't state which 'incident' and it is obvious from comments in the media this week, that they are NOT rare!

I've noticed drunks shouting at the street but not at anyone in particular.  I've never liked drunks.  Am I lucky not to have been harassed?
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Ju Ju

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Re: Feeling safe on our streets
« Reply #1 on: March 14, 2021, 07:07:56 PM »

I have been harassed on the streets. When I was young, I have memories of being subject to sexually offensive shouts from soldiers as army lorries went by, then being stopped by a driver asking for directions and then trying to persuade me to get in his car. Long before reports of such behaviour. I kept my distance and then went home and told my parents who didn’t even comment!

In my 20s, I was regularly followed by an older man, who somehow knew my name. I joined the local Special Constabulary and we were called to this man’s house about an incident. He looked shocked and I never had a problem again! I was also followed by a very tall black man. I diverted to a busy road near a police station (in the days when there were open police stations) then turned and faced him. He was not English and I asked him if he respected women in his homeland. To which he replied yes. So I told him women were to be respected in this country too and that following me was offensive and would get him into trouble. He went away.

I live in a village now, where there are no street lamps. I have no fear of walking in the dark with my torch, but I wouldn’t venture into the woods on my own. The pathways would be a bit treacherous in the dark, never mind bumping into any lurking stranger! Besides I’m somewhat ancient now!
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daska86

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Re: Feeling safe on our streets
« Reply #2 on: March 14, 2021, 09:35:16 PM »

I got harassed by a group of men hanging round outside the pub as I walked home one night , in my teens. Only shouting comments thankfully but it was scary. I hated walking home on my own, but didn't have much choice if I wanted to go out. I used to keep crossing the road and back again, and always checked behind me. I still check behind me today, 45years down the line, especially if I walk the dog in fields or on the canal.
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CLKD

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Re: Feeling safe on our streets
« Reply #3 on: March 15, 2021, 09:01:18 AM »

Easier in towns where one can use windows to keep both eyes open.  We should all feel safe when out and about.  Usually I am out with DH anyway. 

Call me Old Fashioned but I believe that we are entitled to women-only carriages in trains too.  And that every passenger should have a seat so there is no opportunity for men to rub up behind girls. 

I suspect that in a few weeks, this too will be out of the News; in the 1990s a girl was attacked on a Red Route in M Keynes, there were marches after - but nowt seems to have altered.
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ElkWarning

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Re: Feeling safe on our streets
« Reply #4 on: March 15, 2021, 10:35:19 AM »

Erm, I've found this all quite difficult to deal with.  I think people's experiences vary.  I grew up in Birmingham:

At 14 - Grabbed by a man while coming home from the chip shop.  Summer's evening.  Still light.  I chopped down on his wrist (as my Dad had shown me) and let off a foul mouthed tirade.  He ran away.

At 15 - Cornered on the top deck of a bus on my way home from school at about 4pm.  The man sat next to me, taking the aisle seat, and then masturbated.  I couldn't get out and I just froze.  He finished and got off the bus.

At 18 - Driving a car, trying to pull out of a tight parking space, rolled down the window to I could stick my head out, looked over my shoulder briefly, when I returned to eyes front there was a man with his penis in his hand close to my face.  I recoiled.  He shoved it through the car window.  I was struggling to get the window up quickly.  My niece, who was about eight at the time, was in the back.  Broad daylight.

At 20 - Cycling home from work (in a pub, so it was about 11.45pm).  Main road.  Got jumped by three guys, all of whom seemed to be drunk.  Fell off my bike.  They began to drag me / pull at my clothes, but I had a chain and padlock over my shoulder (bike lock) and I started swinging that.  Caught one of them quite badly.  He literally didn't know what had hit him.  They ran away.

At 21 - Jumped by a guy as I was walking down the landing to my flat.  I was six months pregnant and he pulled a knife on me.  I ran.  Just about managed to get the door open, and behind that door was my dog, Buster (Buzzy for short), a rottweiler x alsatian who was trained to protect (see above for why I might think I needed this).  The guy saw the dog and turned tail, but the dog gave chase, caught him and pinned him against the wall.  I'm not proposing this as a method of self-defence, however, I was living in a very rough area at the time ...

After I had the baby, I just didn't go out at night, had two more babies, didn't go out at night on my own for years.  Moved to a nicer area.  Even then, though, the last time I got hassled in the street was relatively recently, a man following me home after I'd been to the pub.  I turned round and told him to get lost.  He didn't.  Luckily, I was near a 24/7 shop and so I walked in there and told the security guard what was happening, he chased the guy away and I phoned my husband to come and get me.

In short, I think it depends where you live, how 'on top' the street culture is there, and how often you go out (sans car).
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CLKD

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Re: Feeling safe on our streets
« Reply #5 on: March 15, 2021, 12:39:32 PM »

That's awful -  :hug:

What are men doing to make women safer?  How many were arrested on Clapham Common on Sat. evening, I know women were dragged away by male policemen.   >:(. I am unable to find out if there were female POs on Duty.

It would seem that in Sarah's case, the man who flashed in a restaurant which was reported by Staff members, his car registration wasn't checked by the on-Duty Officer.  Go figure  >:(

I carried a shriek alarm for years and Dad showed me how to use my knees if required.  Shriek alarm in the ear of the attacker works if cornered apparently. 

Pity that when you had penis through the window issue, that your car didn't have automatic windows ;-)
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Ju Ju

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Re: Feeling safe on our streets
« Reply #6 on: March 15, 2021, 01:02:15 PM »

Elk, you are a survivor. You are courageous. And yes, it does depend on where you live. I feel safe here, but there’s absolutely no way I would go out and about in the dark in the horrid town I grew up in.

What shame that perverted man didn’t get his penis trapped in your window, though of course it would have been more traumatic for your niece.
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