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[CLKD]

Is a blue tongue a type of lizard/Guana?

We have bitey insects here.  1 type of snake which causes a reaction, i.e. adder/viper.

I had pen friends from the age of 8. 

[DS68]

Hi ladies
I believe there are many sad histories here. Mine included but gosh I'm glad I turned my life around and didn't become what I was surrounded by.

I have a mum in her 70s now she completely neglected us physically and emotionally, I was made to shoplift and steal from people from an early age. I witnessed endless relationships.that were violent mostly and I slept in fear every night worried who may try to come into my room. They drank and did drugs and the house was a party hub at weekends.  To say we grew up in poverty is an understatement. We were taken into care but sadly returned to my mother who dupped the authorities that she had turned her life around. Within days we were committing various dishonest criminal acts for her greed.  I never washed or cleaned my teeth. I never went to school and I gained a criminal record aged 13. We lived with rats in the flat and I often stole to eat. It was a truly disgusting life I was born into, but as a child it was all I knew. I remember looking at girls in nice clean school uniforms with lovely pencil cases and feeling so.jealous, they were clean, and cared for.  I remember feeling so desperately sad that I had no where to go but that hovel of a home.
As soon as I was 16 I joined the army and spent many years of my life receiving 3 meals a day and clean sheets for the first time in my life. And I never looked back.  I spent many years travelling and realising the world was a wonderful place and so were most people.

30 years on and  have 2 lovely boys who are the most special people to me and I have a fab husband. I tried to.give my boys the love and support I longed for and they have matured into wonderful young men. One recently married and is a doctor. The other still at secondary school. I'm so blessed to have felt love in my life, the love only kids can bring. Sadly some mums just don't feel it I guess it's all about them and their needs.  I shut my memories out and got on with living.
My mum is now a frail old lady who still tries to be young and has never once apologised or showed regret.  The best thing I ever did was forgive her.  If I hadn't the hate inside would just ruin me as a person.

I don't mention anything to her, I want her to live out her days peacefully remembering whatever she wants to.


I needed therapy for my memories but not until peri menopause age. I guess it opened some doors I had closed years ago.

Moving on is always best as the past has gone and tomorrow is yet to arrive ☺️
Love to All x

[Lyncola]

DS68 you did have a horrible childhood, but sounds like you have a wonderful life now.

So happy Avalon you found kitty owner. We have a lovely cat called Tiger she lives a couple houses away but likes to sleep around our yard. If she see you she throws herself on the ground and rolls around wanting for her rubs. I like to call her Princess Kitty Cat.

We have a couple of blue tongues live in our shed and yes they can give you a bit of a surprise when you first see them.

My worst snake encounter was the first year we were living in this house I went through my sliding door. It was a baby green tree snake it must of been sitting on top of the track. It fell out with me opening the sliding door and landed on my head and fell on the floor in my laundry room. Now you can imagine the screaming and words that came out of my mouth. I ended up getting a long handle duster and pushed it back outside. I have since snake prove my house, I found out that a green tree snake came every year and lay her eggs though the weep hole and in my walls.

Avalon I love English people too, but then again I was born in England and moved to Australia when I was two. I love Kate Bush too and watch Eastenders. I would love to go back again. For all you lovely UK  ladies I was born in Somerset, Taunton.

[CLKD]

I sit here with mouth wide open in horror  - I don't do octopus nor snakes 

I have read this week 'Motherwell' by Deborah Orr - almost every page I could identify with.  Growing up thinking that my Life was normal until I began to mix with others .......... I'm not heavily into foregiveness.

I know that I wouldn't have been a good parent which is why I opted out.  I often wonder what was going on in the minds of those those neglected their children   

[Penguin99]

Wow, bless you all ladies, I thought my childhood was rough. I can't help but shed tears reading this.
I had an operation on Monday and my mum called to see how it went, so you start saying then it gets turned round to her " when i go to hospital" you can never have anything without her saying about herself and making it about her. Im recovering st home now and thankfully hubby is fantastic looking after me. My 2 sons are here too and pop and check on me ( also to take the mickey    ) I also don't tend to tell my mum things, I'm waiting for an injection in my coccyx but I haven't told her, i just don't have that close relationship with my mum. I feel awful sometimes and think I'm a mean person but I know im not. I've always been the 2nd child (3rd for my dad) and always taken second best and treated differently.  It makes feel bad hearing what some of you ladies have been through.
We don't talk to my in laws, any of them, they were really nasty to me & my hubby ( he's one of five), he tells me things that have happened and his parents ignored him & beat him up telling him he was lying, they have no right whatsoever to call themselves grandparents to my boys, never! I read the obituaries every week checking for their names, that makes me sound so bad but I'm sorry , how they ever got to call themselves parents.
My life is my hubby and our sons, they are my world and all I'm interested in. Things have been tough for us these last 2 years and we have more crap to come, but we have a very strong relationship and will get through it together.
Wishing you all well ladies xx

[CLKD]

   Penguin.  Hospital humour ;-)

Motherwell is of course a city in Scotland ;-).  The care home where Mum stays is in lockdown again ;-)

[Penguin99]

Thanks ladies, slow getting round but hopefully that will improve soon .
Certain things do bring back memories,  even tv shows I watch with names of people can bring me down. I do try to ignore it mostly but if I'm having a down day it can hit home & make ne feel crap
How awful for you Avalon, an arson attack! 
Life does throw us all some really crap times, but i could never imagine what you ladies went through, but i do remember when i was 15, a man we knew said he'd give me a lift home from town ( he was late 30s early 40s), i said great, thought I'd save my bus fare. On the way home he pulled in a lay by, told me how lovely & good looking I was, then started to caress my boobs, i didn't know what to say i was so terrifed, then he undid my top and started kissing me on my boob, i said no and thankfully he stopped, then took me home. I never said a word to anybody and I've only told my husband ( in the last 3 years) I have never told any friends. This was back in the 80's. I would never of told my parents because I would have probably got told I must have encouraged it. I honestly take my hat off to you ladies, that was bad enough for me and I know many of you have been through far worse.
I've  lived with it & to be honest I feel I'm over it. I have the love of a wonderful man now, we are 30 years married next May.

I just don't have the close relationship with my mum that a lot of my friends have and I can't talk to her. She said on the phone the other day she loved me and honestly I couldn't say it back, I just can't.  I know its because I'd just had an op.
So sorry I've been rambling about my own problems 

[CLKD]

You ramble.  I wouldn't have told my parents either though Dad had told me when I was 9 how to defend myself  .  We kind of knew in villages when there were strangers around. 

I've had a good moaning session in 'my mum' thread ;-).

As for being approached by an older man, I am sure it's happened to many of us and fortunately 4 U he stopped.  Men can lust after young girls but it's over stepping the mark when they act out.  Older men often lust after younger girls as they realise that they are losing time, opportunity with memories to keep them ticking over.  OK as long as they don't act out.

We can love someone but not like what they do/say.  However, I can't honestly decide when I stopped loving my Mum.  I worked through anger about her actions although it takes over occasionally but never in front of her, I wouldn't give her the pleasure of seeing how she riles me up.  Annoyance continues.

[CLKD]

Because I believed what parents told me, it wasn't seen as 'abnormal' - "Your Dad wants you in bed by 7.00 p.m." - I thought that they had talked at a time when I wasn't there so I didn't have the chance to talk to Dad - about 11 years ago I realised how she was manipulating me ....... "Mustn't upset your father" when the baby died so I simply didn't - so I still don't know why the baby died  .  He mentioned it once but in a way that didn't encourage discussion .  Secrets destroy lives.