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[Mulberry]

Hi. I thought it would be quite rude to let myself in and not say hello 

I’m 51 and have had a fairly rough year all things being equal and this monstrous menopause really hasn’t helped much!

I got so sick of reading how wonderful this period in our lives should be so this site seemed a bit more realistic for me to get info and share ideas maybe. At the very least it might shine a bit of light on the less good days and keep me stumbling along.

I’m generally a fairly cheerful and grounded character but unfortunately my hideous GSM does P me off a fair bit.... wasn’t expecting my genitals to literally disintegrate in front of my very eyes! Definitely struggling with that and my evaporating sex appeal!

It exasperates me to the point of anger that no doctor has actually pointed it out before. Does make you feel a bit foolish. Mind you.... I had explained stabbing genital pains and other things. Seems surrreal that he sent me to a physio for back treatment rather than checking out my vagina!    I’m embarrassed that during some previous surgery for something unrelated recently..people would have actually seen what is between my legs! Mortifying.

I find the whole thing personally unsettling. I am not a fan of how my genitals make me feel about myself so much but it is what it is. Another 30 years and maybe I shan’t care so much lol.

I’m convinced I shall never let anyone see my nether regions ever again given that I’m not a fan of them myself.

I have just paid to see a urogynaecologist that describes the atrophy as severe. Im like willy wonka without the golden ticket! The GP was never receptive to the idea of any hormonal help saying how natural this all is. Not a surprise that this particular individual owns a penis! Now I’m not being funny but spraying my husband in urine in the bedroom isn’t really natural unless you are a feral cat frankly.

The only good thing is that finally someone has been kind enough to prescribe lotions and potions and patches.

Just this thought is my lifeline atm.

Have a good week ladies and Thankyou for letting me in.

 

[Joaniepat]

Hi Mulberry and welcome! Glad to hear you have got some treatment at last. Yes, it is disgraceful the way some primary healthcare individuals treat us. All down to ignorance on their part.

Presumably you are aware of Jane Lewis's work? (Facebook support group, Instagram and book etc.)

Best wishes,
JP x

[jaypo]

Hi there and welcome to the forum
Yes,it does get a bit annoying when the owner of a penis tells you all is natural whe it comes to meno,oh yeah buddy? You think? I actual have to inform certain drs what is and isn't a meno symptom,thing is,they don't usually like being told.
My VA bugs me too,I'm on vagifem but it hasn't stopped the discomfort of sex,my OH is very considerate though but gone are the days of wayhey let's go,it's more,I'm not hurting you am I,is that ok? Are you sure? Kinda takes the romance out of it a bit 

[Mulberry]

Thanks for the welcome JP. Really appreciated 

That book was my bedtime reading last night. So good to read something that actually did justice to the situation for a change!

Yep it surprises me that some medics are so ill equipped or take comfort in their own ignorance of the issues for some of us girls.

I didn’t realise that you could actually end up feeling like you are sat on the inside of your genitals when you were post menopausal! No one ever told me that I could have invisi labia! 

I had decided I might have become some kind of sex fiend with the constant irritation lol. I dunno... the things us girls get to manage in life sometimes!

I just bought copies of the book for both my girls and sister. I think more education is a good thing. I wish I had known more as then I may have been super pushy with the GP if I had known what you can end up with. Potions and lotions for the win for me I think. I think a lot of women might not have a grip on what the physical manifestations can actually be. That said I think the HCP that we see don’t have enough awareness either.

For me seeing the urogynae was like an epiphany haha. To be fair the best thing was the validation. The GP was pushing me to see a therapist and have some amytriptaline. The constant reference to my symptoms as anxiety actually started to convince me I might be bonkers you know. 

[Mulberry]

And thanks as well jaypo. Really appreciate the welcome.

Yeah me and sex have an uneasy alliance atm lmao. Both on a practical level... and a self image level I think.

I am lucky enough to be married to the most wonderful man. Thank the lord there is a god or I would have hung myself from a light fitting 

[Baby]

Hi Mulberry and welcome. I hate when men doctors smile and say it's ok its perfectly natural. It ain't when like me I have 33 symptons out of the 34! Losing my hair is as yet the only one i haven't suffered. Before meno i used to love sex, poor hubby. Then over a short period of time I thought hang on where have my urges gone and when I looked at my nether regions thought what the f..k they dont look like mine. Grey and shrunken. Haven't attempted sex for over a year absolutely no feelings for it. Luckily hubby says well at least he had plenty before meno.x

[jaypo]

I was the same baby,couldn't get enough of my OH but now, I just couldn't care less if we did or didn't,still enjoy it when we do but I'd rather just go to sleep,never thought I'd be like this 

[Mulberry]

Yes ladies I must admit I don’t have the appetite for sex at all.

I still enjoy the odd raunchy dream if I can get some sleep but unfortunately even that is ruined by waking with terrible urethral pain and then promptly peeing my pyjamas!

Some time ago I woke up in wet pyjamas.. probably a year or so ago now...GP sent me to A and E thinking some kind of spinal injury!

It really does beggar belief doesn’t it lol.

I’m really glad I have stumbled on you girls.

[jaypo]

Mulberry,go to the thread the funny side of menopause and look at what I've (not me personally  ; )diagnosed myself with,its hard to keep your sense of humour some days but it you want a chuckle,take a look.
Yes,my dr gave me omeprazole for heartburn when I was panicking with adrenaline surges, I didn't have a clue what it was until I joined this forum,beggers belief sometimes doesn't it?

[Mulberry]

It’s funny that you comment about the adrenaline thing you know. The GP commented that my cortisol levels were a tad high. I must admit I know nothing about this manifestation at all!

I don’t think it’s Normal to want to punch your GP in the face repeatedly... maybe seeing him raises my cortisol lmao. I did tell him I was super ragey all the time....he asked if I had been parented in a particular way that could explain why I feel that way. 

Good suggestion on the thread too so thanks for that... I was just having a surf around the site with a crumpet and coffee. I will check that out as I kinda like laughing hahah.