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[AlwaysManchester]

Hi all, my first post so be gentle with me!
Background: I am 48 and have always suffered very heavy periods, the kind where I can stand up and the floodgates would just open. It even led to me being anaemic. I was prescribed the combined pill at around 17 and have been on it at various points in my life, but it changed my personality every month and I became a raging monster who would self harm. Two children later and around 18 months ago I was finally diagnosed with fibroids which accounted for the heavy periods. My doctor said I should not have HRT treatment if I have fibroids. I have looked into HRT and it seems it is a combination of oestrogen and progesterone? The same as the combined pill that I had been taking for long periods in my life.
Anyway, I am now on progesterone which, after 3 months of continual bleeding (light) stopped my periods with just a bit of spotting now and then. The relief is tremendous! However about a year ago my libido just dried up. Sex was painful when I tried, I seemed to be really dry. Since then I just don't want to have sex at all. And I mean, no sexual contact whatsoever. Hugs are fine, but I don't want anything else and will actively avoid it.
My husband has obviously not been happy with this. We tried a failed attempt 6 months ago.
I've also become very depressed (this is more recent) and have had mood swings when I can be ok, but then suddenly will be flooded with sadness or a huge desire to be left alone.
I don't know if I am going through the menopause or depression. I don't know if the progesterone is to blame for my loss of libido and dryness (I am taking one every other day just in case) or if this is also down to the menopause? And I don't know what to make of the advice on HRT?
I have days when I feel that I just don't fancy my husband at all, which is hugely unfair on him.
Any advice appreciated at this point!

[Baby]

Hi chick. Sounds like meno to me. The trouble is depression symptons are the same as bad meno symptoms. I have been suffering badly since February last year and still trying to get HRT right. The reason I know its hormones for me is because this is how I felt when I had PND   26 years ago. As I am typing this I feel ok but in an hour I could be sobbing. My advice would be to try HRT as soon as possible, maybe a low dose. I realise now I started peri in 2014 after all the information off this great website. I wish I had known because I would have started on HRT then and maybe it wouldn't have hit me so hard in the last eighteen months.

[AlwaysManchester]

Thanks but the fact that I reacted so badly to the combined pill along with the doctor’s warning not to take HRT because of the fibroids, makes me wary of trying it. And after being fobbed off by so many different doctors for years who seem to want to just prescribe medication and get me out the door, without asking questions, makes me disinclined to seek their advice either.

[7dwarfs]

Thanks but the fact that I reacted so badly to the combined pill along with the doctor’s warning not to take HRT because of the fibroids, makes me wary of trying it. And after being fobbed off by so many different doctors for years who seem to want to just prescribe medication and get me out the door, without asking questions, makes me disinclined to seek their advice either.

If it’s any comfort I couldn’t tolerate the combined or mini pill, tried various mini pills in my early 40s and gave up in the end. But I would 100% recommend trying HRT if you can take it ( not sure where you stand with fibroids) my quality of life improved dramatically and I got my sex drive back ( from complete loss of response )... I felt like a new woman! I’m off it atm and dreading going back to how I was, but hoping my fibroids are treatable, I will know more next week. Have you spoken or been referred to Gynecology ?

[AlwaysManchester]

Thanks 7dwarfs. No I've never been referred to a gynae. The doctors have been pretty much useless. Their response to any women's health problem is the pill or coil. If you go and say you are depressed then they prescribe ADs. No-one seems interested in probing further. I had to push to get a scan which revealed fibroids. I then had to do my own research on them and HRT which is when I found out that fibroids are mainly caused by too much oestrogen, which is why I had such a bad time on the combined pill, as I was piling more oestrogen on top of oestrogen. From what I've researched, HRT is also a combination of oestrogen with progesterone so I think I'm best avoiding. The mini-pill is working to stop the blood loss but my mood has reduced drastically. I don't know how much of that is because of the lockdown and general change in circumstances though. My lack of libido is definitely related to progesterone.

I just feel so angry as I've suffered heavy, painful periods all my life. If I had been treated properly I never would have suffered such drastic mood swings in my twenties that led to me trying suicide and self harm. I also suffered anaemia because of the blood loss. I'm now 48 and I can't get those years back. Nor can I undo the damage it caused to my husband and children who witnessed many of my 'episodes' whilst on the pill. And I've lost count of holidays ruined as I sat up all night, terrified to move in case blood flowed out of me and ruined bed sheets, carpets, etc.

I know I probably am menopausal right now. I have the breast tenderness and my mood swings are too drastic to just be labelled as depression - although I do have that on top of everything else. I am also getting bloated, very gassy and sometimes quite restless and achy. But the one thing that is testing my marriage is the lack of libido. I just don't want him near me at all, in any form. He's very hurt and frustrated by this. As I say, it's been 18 months with no change in sight. So I have cut back on the progesterone and am taking just one every two days to see if that has an effect. I am guessing that my hormones are fluctuating so I just need to keep an eye on my moods and maybe adjust the pill-taking accordingly?

If anyone can give me more information about HRT I would be very grateful. As I say, I only know that it's combined hormones but I might be wrong.

[7dwarfs]

I would recommend you change your gp practice if at all possible, you shouldn’t be having to feel this way! My GP has been very helpful and all should be! It’s just a shame she didn’t join my practice sooner as I think I wouldn’t have suffered as much in the past and been fobbed off by male drs! I was very scared of HRT at first due to the side effects I’d suffered from the pill and like you I’ve had problems all my life from 12 years old. Diagnosed with PCOS at 18 and told I wouldn’t be able to conceive naturally etc ( I was blessed with 3 children despite that!). I felt completely lost before I started HRT and it was so bad I decided it was worth a try... within a few days I noticed a positive difference and after first trying Femoston 1/10 I spoke to my GP who upped it to 2/10 and I’ve felt better than I have in years! Unfortunately for me I’ve now developed fibroids and am waiting to see what’s next but I still want HRT in some form and my GP has reassured me that I will have options- once I know what’s happening. I hope you can find someone who will listen and treat you appropriately, you really should be seeing a gynaecologist at least x hugs and I hope my experience is of some help x

[AlwaysManchester]

Thank you 7dwarfs x

[Julia Dizzy]

Hi AlwaysManchester,
My GP was useless when it came to asking for HRT and I had to almost insist to be referred to a local NHS menopause clinic at BMI The Beaumont hospital near me, which he did. (there is a list of clinics on the British Menopause society webpage I seem to remember?)

So I only started on it at age 63 and wish I knew then at age 53 (after periods stopped and hot flushes etc were horrendous for years) what I know now, as I think if I'd had HRT then I wouldn't have had as many issues as I've had.
 
I apparently have small fibroids diagnosed on a scan 5 years ago, but so far touch wood have not had any bleeding on the conti regime. I use 2 pumps Estrogel and 100mg Utrogestan orally daily.

I hope you can get help from a good gynae Dr who specialises in HRT. My Dr Broome had no hesitation at all with me starting on it and was being monitored every three months. He sent a letter to the GP after the first consultation and they put it all on repeat prescription with no question, as they said the onus was not on them. (Meno clinics are not back up and running yet due to Covid, so am waiting for another follow up appt to discuss how things are going...)

Good luck and give it a whirl? xx