Hi Eagle87
Sorry to hear about your problems with progesterone as well as post-natal depression.
As this is a menopause forum it is difficult for us to advise about PND although I know that oestrogen may be prescribed for it ( maybe you are a patient of the Studd clinic?). I really think you need to consult the professional who is in charge of you and your regime because taking lower amounts of progesterone must only be done under supervision, but I know from some on here that for women who are still ovuating ie not yet peri-menopausal but taking the oestrogen for depression, sometimes alternate months has been permitted, the argument being that you are producing your own through ovulation. However if you are taking very high doses of oestrogen to suppress ovulation then you do need the progesterone of some sort.
Some years ago also there was a woman in your position - well I think it was PMDD, but had a hysterectomy to prevent the hormone swings and was also prog intolerant. That is somewhat exterme and you may not have finished having your family. Have you tried any of the other progestogens like Provera. Some actually find they tolerate this one better even though it is synthetic? Otherwise there is the Mirena coil which delivers most of the progestogen to the uterus, although some is still absorbed into the body. There are also the COC pills, a couple of which are designed for older women as they contain estradiol as in the gel. Qlaira is one such - but they do have high doses of progestogens but that one is a newer generation one.
Also how much Tostran are you taking? Could this be having an effect? It is a stronger T than the others, although if you are only feeling like you do when on the prog part of the cycle then maybe not that?
Please please speak to someone about this especially if you are experiencing suicidal thoughts. There are emergency numbers - and organisations - Samaritans and others. At this stressful time in all of our lives it will be so much more difficult so please don't suffer alone. Do you have someone with you at home?
Take care and let us know how you get on. I know it's quiet at the moment. Also have you tried Mumsnet - there may well be a section on PND and similar on there with more like you in the same position?
Hurdity x
