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[Cassie]

Hi Ladies, I am looking for some advice here. For those of you who followed my previous posts and my struggles with OH, over the past few years, I ended up seeing a regular therapist to help me cope with his behaviour.Someone at some stage, in one of my discussions mentioned he may have a type of Autism/Aspergers, I seem to think it could have been Tazz, but I speak under correction?
My therapist, seems to think there could be a connection because of his behaviour but my question is, has he always had it, or am I only noticing it in the past few years since it has just been the 2 of us and our children have moved out of home? If I google he has less than half the symptoms, but there are def signs that tell me, maybe there is something going down. I am trying to get clarity if its something I should have noticed earlier on or if it can become more apparant with ageing and what the main symptoms are as he is highly intellectual and I have always thought interacts well with other people but yet there are signs that point to the fact he may be on the spectrum, but then again...maybe not... I guess I am clutching at straws to try and understand what I am dealing with.

[Aprilflower]

He would have to be properly assessed to know for sure.  It would help you to understand him but may not help your general situation.  Also if he behaviour is unreasonable Autism should not be an excuse.  Some people are just difficult unfortunately.

[Postmeno3]

There are checklists usually available online via Tony Attwood or Simon Baron-Cohen. It IS a spectrum and not all symptoms present. How does he cope with change/stress? Can he engage in diversions in conversations or does he want to keep pulling them back to his topic? Does life seem to have to be often on his terms? Has he very specific, borderline obsessive interests? Would you say he "gets" emotions, also consequences? I wonder if he's just feeling a bit rudderless due to Covid and/or empty nest and/or ageing. Have a look at specific websites. The National Autistic Society is probably the best, but these others may have contact sections or support forums. Sorry, I'm a bit rusty as haven't worked in this field for a few years now, but there may be something here for you ,hopefully, or someone else may be along. Oh, take a look at the Minds & Hearts website, lots on there about traits and also partnering. Good luck!

[CLKD]

It is said that many of us are 'on the Spectrum', I can certainly see it in DH  in more recent years.  When he interacted with his peer group/colleagues in Uni. it was less noticeable as he could talk about stuff with them that I have little interest and even less knowledge about.

Take his latest interest: collecting watches to repair; he will tell me all the ins and outs of how each 1 works ...........  he will also tell others that we know 

The NAS was my first suggestion, having worked for them years ago, there is good advice to be had.  MayB make a list of what you noticed?  There may be a Support Officer in your County, who you could meet with.

Is OH aware at all?  Old habits grow hard ....... mine will deny issues when I point them out to him, particularly when driving   

[Taz2]

It was me. Well remembered. If he does have Asperger's then it will be you who has to adapt to him from my own experience. It's very tough at times. Maybe you could open a thread under private lives where others may be more confident in opening up?

Taz x   

[CLKD]

Some people are relieved to get a diagnosis, it explains their whole history.

[Cassie]

Thankyou ladies & good idea Tazz.