A "short"
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recap: I went off birth control pills in October as I was close to turning 50 and my doctor thought it time. Soon after that it was like my body fell apart! Rampant muscle/bone pain (not in the joints) and stiffness, hot flashes, acne, extreme fatigue, then a flare of my ulcerative colitis for the first time in about five years. The worst pain was in my right shin -- one day in late January I was sitting there and it was suddenly like a knife was being stabbed into my shin. Excruciating! It has hurt ever since, to varying degrees. I saw my doctor in late January. Blood test showed I had low iron (but not anemia), a low white cell count and slightly high calcium, and was in menopause.
The doctor thought my shin pain was nerve pain related to spider and the start of varicose veins (I am highly skeptical of this). I was very worried about the high calcium, as that can be a sign of cancer, so she referred me to an endocrinologist. I had HUGE anxiety -- could barely sleep and was constantly near tears. The endo didn't think my labs were worrying, and put the calcium numbers down to my albumin levels being high (apparently they adjust calcium levels down if albumin levels are above a certain level). My mother has had similar blood levels, so he thought it possible there's a genetic component there.
I had an appointment in early March to talk to my gynecologist in early March to talk about HRT, but she called out sick that day. Then the rescheduled appointment was right when the pandemic hit around here (U.S.), so I canceled. My rescheduled appointment is in June.
I had about a month in there where things got significantly better -- hot flashes and body pain went down a lot, so it seemed like my body was adjusting to the hormonal changes. I thought things were looking up. Then several weeks ago, the bone/muscle pain came back with a vengeance. It's mostly in my legs, and it's about all the time. Still having some hot flashes, though not as bad as in November/December/January.
I was supposed to have follow-up blood work with the endo at the end of March, but I canceled because I was too scared to go out with the pandemic. (My mother lives with me, and on top of my autoimmune disease of ulcerative colitis, she has three high-risk factors, so I'm terrified of bringing it back home. I've been able to work from home since mid-March.) Because of the pain coming back, I've scheduled to go in for the blood work on Thursday. Now I am kicking myself for waiting so long, now that my state is reopening and there are a LOT more cases than in late March.
My anxiety is very high again. I'm worried about what the blood work will show, and I'm worried about catching COVID-19 at the doctor's office. I know they're taking extra precautions, but I don't know what other patients there before me and while I'm there will be doing. I've long had health anxiety, and boy does all this play into it!
I have been doing meditation for several months, and for awhile it seemed to be helping a lot. But lately it seems to have stopped lowering my worry, stress and pain.