You are only on your second cycle Loki42 and it all takes a while to settle down. I can only write how I found things for me. I take 4 pumps of gel and 200mg Utrogestan 12 days on a cycle but I string my cycle out so 28 days gel and then the 12 days. For me took 7 months for absolutely everything to settle and I had a list of symptoms as long as you're arm. In terms of Utrogestan, yes I had withdrawal "down days" but as it went on they got less and less and now they are just a couple of days when I feel slightly tearful (I have been on the regime 19 months now!) but then I was a depressive before hrt! its stopped now though. I got cramps for the first 2 months with the Utro which I took paracetamol for and that went too. progesterone generally can have a depressive effect but some people are more susceptible to certain types of progesterone than others. You need one that suits you and as this is the first type of hrt regime for you (I think I've read you right) well there can be a bit of pfaffing about to find the right kind that suits you body. I had to try 6 before I found the right one!
The other side effect you talk about I found were due to lack of oestrogen, so I had acid reflux and nausea and headaches. Yes the first few withdrawal bleeds can be hard but they settle into a pattern after a while...its like your body getting used to something unusual...hard to explain...and then it kinds says "oh this is what we're doing" Ok!
Thing is the length of time it takes varies so very much person to person but a minimum of 3 months is supposed to be a rule of thumb but really that is only 3 cycles of 12 days which really if you think about it isn't that long if you body was confused in the first place.
You are early days yet really...stick with it...by cycle 3 or 4 a pattern should emerge and by 5 /6 you will really have picture, that's if you can stick it that long, some can't. You may find that at cycle 4 it's not suiting you all and like MicheleMaBelle says, you may need to try a different type of HRT regime. To get really comfortable with the gel & Utro all has taken 15 months for me but then I'm not surprised by that, I was a flaming mess and I didn't have a choice to give up or try anything else as I had tried loads of stuff that didn't work at all.