CLKD, when I had my blood tested a week ago, it showed my calcium levels had spiked quite a bit from my normal steady level over many years, to slightly elevated. If it's not caused by a benign parathyroid condition (which another blood test seemed to rule out), then high blood calcium is very often an indicator for several kinds of cancer. Cancer has always been one of my biggest health anxieties. I've had to force myself to stop Googling about the calcium levels, because I was finding nothing but dire explanations, and it was making my anxiety worse. Even though my doctor isn't as worried as I am, I'm terrified she's not taking it seriously enough and that I'm just at the "start" of it showing up. I know she'll probably test my levels again later this month, so I'm on pins & needles waiting until that time. I keep having all these unusual stabbing pains in my shin, along with other aches and pains.
I also have a low white-cell count, which is also scary, and plays into my fears about cancer. I do have a history of that from about 10 years ago, though -- after being monitored for awhile, the doctors' working theory was that it was a rare side effect of a medicine I take for my ulcerative colitis. They switched my medicine and my levels went back up until this past year, when they started dropping again.
I had an OK day on Friday and Saturday, but my anxiety and fatigue have shot up again yesterday and today. I've been trying sleeping with a lavender essential oil diffuser going, listening to relaxation music, and trying deep breathing and meditation, but it's still hard to relax and sleep. I woke up several times in the night again last night.
I feel like everything is falling apart. It's so hard to function and do my job and all the other things that a person has to do. I'm single, so I've only got myself to rely on for getting things done. I feel like a basket case. It's next to impossible to turn my worries off.