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[Eagle87]

Hi I have been on hrt almost 11 weeks I'm only 32 and I am being treated for postnatal depression and reproductive depression

I'm on 4.5 pumps estrogel tostran every 2nd day and utrogestan 7 days a month...

I started 21st nov but wasnt meant to start utrogestan til 1st feb..
My main symptom is insomnia. I started to get a few good days in January followed by worsening of symptoms end of January so I was wondering if this could have been due to being on high estrogen for so long  without progesterone.. so I started utrogestan 3 days ago orally... it does help me sleep but I get so vivid dreams that it feels like I havent slept properly.. the baby also wakes every 1.5 to 2 hours.... also felt more irritable and low in the day..

What's going to happen in 4 days when I stop will insomnia come back ? I'm just getting so fed up I just wanna feel well again... I was thinking to try utrogestan vaginally tonight will it still help me sleep??

[CLKD]

Hello?  What treatment has been suggested for post natal depression and has anyone explained what the difference might B between that an 'reproductive' depression?  From my experience it's 1 and the same 

Lack of sleep is a bummer.  Add to that PND ........... what support are you getting?  Is there a group in your area or a specific Nurse at the Hospital that you can access 24/7? 

I have busy, involved, long dreams.  I take ADs, betablockas and have dreamt for years.  Not nasty stories but very involved.  Do you get to sleep when the baby does?  Important that you drop off at the same time to re-energise you.  The housework will wait!

  ...... boy or girl ?

[Ladybt28]

Hi Eagle87 - I was wondering how you were? I was thinking about you quite a bit the other day.  Glad to hear the Utro was making you sleep...just a bit better...but still not sorted properly obviously.  It's tough in your situation because you are being treated for postnatal depression and in terms of sleep you are always going to have one ear out for your lovely new baby and the fact that the baby is waking very 2 hours makes it doubly hard.

The insomnia might come back but as I said in your other thread, all this stuff is trial and error and there is no quick fix plus you own reactions at 32 are going to be tied into your own period cycle.  I know you want to feel well again and you want the answer to be quick but hrt as a treatment or reproductive/postnatal depression (I agree CLKD they are one and the same) is not going to be quick.  You are producing all sorts of hormones and have stopped producing others in greater quantities...eg the ones that were growing your baby because now your baby is here and your body is out of sorts plus you are breastfeeding...more hormones!  You have only just started your utrogestan if I remember right, so it will be strange.  You need at least another 2 cycles as yours are only 7 days for it to get established and maybe level out.

Its gonna be tough on the sleep front whilst baby is feeding/waking every 2 hours or so.  The Studd clinic said you had to tough it out until review when you contacted them I think...I just wish I could say something or suggest something to make things better for you quicker but I can only suggest "time" - 11 weeks is a blink of any eye using hrt to treat PND.
Sending you the biggest of the big    xx  Keep going honey! x

[Penelope]

Hello Eagle87 I hear you honey and your life on top of it all is just so busy.
I too was diagnosed with postnatal depression many moons ago.
But long story short it turns out I had  postpartum thyroiditis please check out the symptoms in the link below.



https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/postpartum-thyroiditis/symptoms-causes/syc-20376675

[NorthArm]

Hi Eagle87 - I feel your pain, I developed PND after my second, mainly due to lack of sleep and breastfeeding....she was every 1.5 - 2hrs too 🙄🙄 and it just feeds on itself...

Have you thought about co-sleeping? I always found that I slept better (and so did they) when they were in bed with me. You've still got the ?baby alert? in your brain, so you needn't fear smothering or rolling on them. Unless you're a drinker or drug user (which I doubt because you're breast feeding), baby will be quite safe. You needn't worry about 'spoiling? either, 'that's a very Victorian view. If you're both getting some sleep then that has to be a good thing...

As the midwife in hospital (who encouraged me to co sleep) said - you've been attached to each other for so long, a little while longer can't hurt ❤️ And they?re only so small for such a short time

Have you got any practical support? And do please take the pressure off yourself to be perfect....aim for good enough, and delegate/ignore the housework xx

[CLKD]

Baby needs warmth, a full belly and a feeling of being clean.  If you decide to take the co-sleeping route make sure that Babe can't fall out of bed! as they tend to wriggle quite quickly  . Baby won't know if the dusting doesn't get done etc..  I can't understand anyone that has a new born who can stop looking at he/she anyway  .  I spent hours watching those that my friend had.

There should be support in your area for PND don't be afraid to get in touch. Or a MIND walk-in Clinic, they were very helpful when I was ill 3 years ago.  Keeping in contact via e-mail for weeks as I was unable to get to the clinic. 

If you feel that you are likely to damage your baby do ask for support, don't wait.  The sooner you get support the better it is for your both.  Keep posting!!   

[Eagle87]

I'm getting support from perinatal mental health team in form of talking and a fort nightly support group.. they offered me anti depressants but I choose the hrt route after reading studd articles

When I met him initially he said I would feel better in 2 months and it's almost been 3....

I am co sleeping safely and although it would be nice if he slept longer hes not the problem it's me cause I'm still awake even when hes asleep... .

I took utrogestan vaginally yest and I was up all night... I'm so fed up sometimes I wish I wouldn't have gone down this route

I'm having my blood tests done Wednesday

They will check thyroid too but I dont think my problems are linked to thyroid as I had same issues 3 years ago and my thyroid was fine

Sorry for sounding so negative but I just feel so rubbish I just want it to go away so I can be like others mum who enjoy their kids

[CLKD]

This too will pass.  Is the support enough right now?

A little boy - try not to worry about sleeping but try to relax when he is - watching, listening to him breathing and snuffling, do you take 'photos? they grow so fast. [says me, never having had children  ].  My friend found that when her 1st son grew, he wanted feeding more often - could co-sleeping by the problem, does he get too warm which wakes him?  I understand that one feels the nape of a baby's neck to judge how warm/cold they might be?  Does he sleep differently in the day time?

Of course a baby has had loud noises from conception: tummy rumbles, farts moving through the body, gurgling from digestion; plus noises from outside i.e. music, voices, bird song.  Have you tried music in the background which may be soothing for him.  They also move around a lot and then we try to keep them still  .  Do you carry him on your front or as a papoose? 

My cousin had a baby bouncer which hung from the doorway somehow, she would carry her kids from room to room so that she could chat and they could watch. 

[Ladybt28]

It's tough to drop off for a couple of hours at the drop of a hat, when you know in your head you are going to have to wake again so soon.  Don't beat yourself up about it.  What about trying a soothing meditation on your phone to listen through earphones, as soon as the wee boy drops off? It might stop your head shouting "now I must sleep...now I must sleep"!  It happens to us "oldies" because insomnia can be a huge part of menopause and we have terrible trouble controlling it without adding a 3 month old baby into the mix!
I had bad postnatal depression and to this day (30 years later) still look at other "happy mothers and contented children" and wonder why it wasn't like that for me.. I still can't get my head around it...but it's in the past I can't change it.  It isn't anyone's fault...that's just how it is for some of us and it happened both times with my sons.  I look at my step-daughters and go "how do they do that"!!
Hope your bloods throw up something on Wednesday.  I still say using hrt to fix postnatal/reproductive depression is gonna take more than 3 months honey xx

Keep talking to us. Much love xx

[NorthArm]

Hi Eagle, with my PND I took sertraline at the lowest dose, which helped enormously. I do understand the science behind reproductive depression, but sometimes I think it's more the lack of sleep which then feeds upon itself until you're literally going nuts ☹️ And if there's no one else to give you a break, eg you could express and your partner might be able to do night shifts on the weekend So you could try and sleep in another room....that then multiplies everything. Do you not have any family or friends nearby? I didn't and I know how hard that is. Does a health visitor still come weekly?
I'm so sorry you're feeling like this. I agree with LadyBT, hormones will probably take more than two months. And I feel you when you talk about contented mothers. Parenthood is hard, end of.
Try and do your very best to at least relax of a night when he is asleep there with you - hard I know, that hyper vigilance is tough.
Thinking of you xx

ps - also, just because you've chosen the hormonal route for now, doesn't mean you can't change your mind and opt for anti depressants after all. It is always, always your choice. I held out until my daughter was 4 months old, and after the first week or two when they'd kicked in, I wondered why I'd taken so long. Not a magic bullet by any stretch, but absolutely helpful in terms of coping xx