Hi E
Sorry to hear you are experiencing the rough end of menopause - or should I say beginning? You haven't said whereabouts you are based but I find it shocking that the docs at your surgery have only suggested that you attend women's group FFS!
If your cycle length has started changing eg sometimes 3 weeks sometimes 5 etc and you are experiencing symptoms such as flushes and sweats as an absolute minimum, and over 45 - then you are deemed peri-menopausal and as such the NICE Guidelines are that you should be offered HRT as the first line of treatment.
You said you did not want to go down the HRT route so perhaps if you said this to your docs, this might explain their suggestion of women's groups? However even if you did say you didn't want to take HRT they should still recommend it to you, and also I hope they gave you advice on diet and lifestyle which is so important at this stage - ie that we maintain BMI in range - not too much fat, eat good healthy diet with lots of fresh ingredients, cutting down on sugar, refined carbs, sweet drinks, processed foods, alcohol, smoking and taking lots of exercise!!!
The fact that you are experiencing so many flushes so early in peri-menopause (if you are still getting quite a few periods) means they could go on for some time and I would urge you to re-think your feelings about HRT because, once you've found the right product at the right dose, you can say goodbye to those flushes and sweats. No wonder you can't cope. For the sake of your quality of life and mental well-being it is really worth considering and especially as you are so young, if there are no medical reasons why you shouldn't take it.
Have a read of the main website - all the sections on menopause, risks and benefits, HRT - follow the menus...
You may not get back all of the person you used to be but you can get pretty damn close especially early on in menopause - so that you can function and enjoy life. There really is no need to suffer! I was like you for much of peri-menopause - my flushes got really bad in late peri especially, which is when I started HRT. Now aged mid -60's and still taking it!
If we can help further then please ask
Hurdity x