Hi Kelly909
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First of all so sorry to hear about your mum - especially as I am that age....it's the news one dreads with so many friends getting cancer in their 60's. Do hope her treatment goes well.
The general advice I understand is that it is early breast cancer that is more of a cause for concern genetically, rather than at your mum's age? Also as a rule of thumb, provided there is no genetic risk ( of early bc in close relatives), the years taking HRT do not count risk wise until you reach at least the natural age of menopause which is 51/52 as your body should be getting it anyway. Then you start counting years. As the others have said it is not a simple matter anyway re risk and causality.
When was your last period? You are very young to have gone through menopause if your last period was 12 months ago or more or if your periods are few and far between and the risks to general health and mortaility may be greater from an early menopause than the risk of bc. Therefore the benefits of HRT in your position may well outweigh the risks. I can understand your worry though.
You haven't mentioned your lifestyle at all and the one thing you can do to reduce your risk of many cancers is optimise this. That is - make sure you are not overweight - get to healthy BMI - much higher risk of cancer with too much body fat. Take plenty of exercise, reduce stress, get enough sleep, reduce alcohol, stop smoking ( if you do!) and above all eat good varied healthy diet ( low sugar, low fat, reduce processed foods) with plenty of fresh ingredients and tons of fruit and veg. Make sure you are not deficient in any nutrients. Think about vitamin D - get out in the sunshine for a time all year round without sunscreen (without burninbg of course!). Eat lots of oily fish etc. Take a cod liver oil supplement for vit D if you're not doing the above....if you have digestive problems then take extra vits and minerals as absorption can be affected.
If after all this you cannot take HRT or decide due to your history not to - then there are other meds you can take for hot flushes and sweats although I would really see if you can replace oestrogen for a few years at least.
These meds are anti-depressants or blood pressure medication and some others. There was a paper produced a couple of years ago which was open access and now no longer. Called "Consensus statement for non-hormonal-based treatments for menopausal symptoms". I think Venlafaxene was the most recommended? At a later date I can find the paper (which I downloaded) and print an extract for you if necessary?
Hope this helps
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Hurdity x