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Author Topic: I dont know who I am anymore  (Read 1956 times)

Lisa50

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I dont know who I am anymore
« on: October 23, 2019, 08:37:04 AM »

Hello I am 51 been menopausal since 45 GP never believed me said I was too young, since October I have had a breakdown left work struggling to go out by myself due to anxiety, dont really want to be around people this is not me I was always self reliant. I feel I depend on others too much I really do not recognize myself anymore I feel sad, low self esteem, no confidence no purpose also diagnosed with fibromyalgia in July from a fun loving happy go person who had goals in life to a hermit, I'm on HRT dont think it's high enough however GP said my symptoms are not menopause?? Sorry for negative post just feel like a bloody freakx
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Viwi

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Re: I dont know who I am anymore
« Reply #1 on: October 23, 2019, 08:51:55 AM »

I'm sorry that you have to go through it. I know it will sound childlish but.. change GP. You can also go to menopausal clinic - I think that would be the best. I'm still strugling with myself - I can start crying without reason or I'm laughing like stupid, but on higher dose HRT I'm swelling - and for me it's much worser than my mood - I stoped care that people can think of me as crazy person  ::)
I hope you will find someone soon that will help you, but seriously - change GP - he is an as**** :-X :-X :-X :-X
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alibeau

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Re: I dont know who I am anymore
« Reply #2 on: October 23, 2019, 08:53:56 AM »

Hi Lisa50,

I too am struggling with anxiety, a whole new unpleasant experience for me..... I don't have any advice I'm afraid other than be kind to yourself, circumstances change (not always for the better) and we just have to try and go with the flow and adjust as best we can....

Hopefully someone will be along soon with some better advice!

Best wishes.

Ali x
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sheila99

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Re: I dont know who I am anymore
« Reply #3 on: October 23, 2019, 10:34:32 AM »

I recognise much of what you say, it sounds so similar to how I felt. I also think you're likely to be right with your diagnosis. Anxiety can have many causes but if, like mine, it coincided with peri the chances are it's hormone related. What hrt are you on and what dose? Are you meno now or still peri? My anxiety only went after 3 months on hrt, it seems to need a build up of oestrogen levels.
I think your options are to change gp to one who knows more, or you could ask for a referral to a menopause clinic. You may benefit from testosterone too (helped my low mood and motivation) but usually only prescribed by a specialist and for low libido. Or you could tell gp you're getting hot flushes so need a higher dose. Best option imo is to see someone with more knowledge than your gp.
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pants46

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Re: I dont know who I am anymore
« Reply #4 on: October 23, 2019, 11:36:10 AM »

Lisa50, if you're a 'bloody freak' then so am I love. Its the pits. I am not me anymore. Can't offer any useful advice right now, as I haven't found the solution yet and have taken to my bed !! xx
« Last Edit: October 23, 2019, 11:53:33 AM by pants46 »
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CLKD

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Re: I dont know who I am anymore
« Reply #5 on: October 23, 2019, 11:39:19 AM »

Hi!  Change your GP.  Or see the Practice Nurse who may have more idea about menopause.

Do a google to see where your nearest menopause clinic is.  Not a gynaecologist in a Hospital as they often know little about meno..  Some ladies find that keeping a mood/food/symptom diary useful.

As oestrogen levels drop the body may become dry; inside and out  >:( - skin, scalp, deep in the ears, vagina, eyes - as well as muscles may become lax =aches and pains.

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jillydoll

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Re: I dont know who I am anymore
« Reply #6 on: October 23, 2019, 11:48:29 AM »

Hello Lisa50
As the others have said, it sounds very menopausal to me, especially as you've never had anxiety before, fluctuations in hormones brings this on. I, and many others suffer from it, and have never had it before until this meno hit...I've been on hrt for nearly two years now, ( the right one anyway) and it's only now my anxiety, feeling ill, moods, and everything else that goes with it, has lifted. If your not getting anywhere with your @*# doctor, which isn't unusual, go to a meno clinic. OR change doctors.
I'm so sorry your struggling, we know exactly what your going through...your NOT a freak, it's your hormones...unbelievable really how hormones can do all this to us....🤷‍♀️
You have options which hrt to take. Hang on in there, we're here if you need us...Anytime.
Oh, and  :welcomemm:

Jd xx
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ElkWarning

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Re: I dont know who I am anymore
« Reply #7 on: October 23, 2019, 04:18:46 PM »

Hey Lisa50.  Sometimes just reaching out takes up all the emotional energy available for that day.

At this stage I don't really have anything to say other than I'm pretty sure lots of us have been (still are) in that place where we don't quite recognise who we are now.  If I were to put a positive spin on it I guess I'd say something like 'Well, realising you're not the person you used to be / want to be in the first step towards making a change' ... and then I'd land a massive slap on myself because that just sounds so lame.

Anyway, welcome.

Best

EK
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KiltedCupid

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Re: I dont know who I am anymore
« Reply #8 on: October 23, 2019, 05:12:51 PM »

Hi Lisa50 - welcome to the forum, you'll get lots of really great advice here, often more valuable and accurate than an uninformed gp can give. First off, you're certainly not a freak. I can truly empathise with you darling, I've been on hrt for around 8/9 years now and have had some dreadful moments, some lasting several months. Complete withdrawal from everything and everyone, lack of energy and enthusiasm for anything or anyone. One thing I can say with absolute certainty is that it's all linked to fluctuating hormones. They're powerful little messengers and when out of kilter, can have really profound effects on our lives. Ask your gp to refer you to a meno clinic, at your age it's really important to get a good level of oestrogen and it sounds like you don't. Lots of options available for you but you need a specialist to help you. Good luck.
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squeaker99

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Re: I dont know who I am anymore
« Reply #9 on: October 24, 2019, 04:57:14 PM »

What you describe is totally my experience of Peri Menopasue to a tee. Anxiety has been the worse side effect by far for me; coupled with problems sleeping.  This has effected my whole zest for life, self confidence, sociability.  I am 100% sure it is hormone related as I do have times I feel better or worse against a general background of anxiety.  I have tried many things to shift the anxiety - diet/keeping busy/HRT when my insomnia was bad/Sertraline for two weeks. None made any difference to the overall pattern. It is hard to talk to friends or family about this too as I always feel like I am complaining. I am amazed there is no heads up from the NHS on this - no leaflets/support groups/web sites.  There is very little about the physical changes (I though it was just about hot flushes and periods stopping). The whole anxiety/gastric/nerves/nervous/sleep/joints/discharge .....so many Meno issues, so little support.

The worse times do pass and there is an element for me of 'fighting it'  - putting on the radio, joining new groups, avoiding the booze, trying to think positive thoughts.  I wish this forum had some weekend or local group meets for a chat and a laugh. I would be there like a shot as it is a lonely game this.
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