Hi Loopsie, I can totally relate! Agree about evenings being better, as there's no walking about and hence no friction.
It seems two Vagifem a week is not enough for you. At a recent meeting the British Menopause Society recommended using every other day, up to five a week. Many need it daily. Have you considered adding either Ovestin or Estriol Cream for external use?
Regarding washing with aqueous cream, I don't think it is suitable for the vulval area as it contains SLS, a known irritant. Indeed, dermatologists no longer recommend it for any skin condition. Just rinse the area with plain water.
I guess the Yes VM might sting a bit if you are very dry at the moment. Maybe increase the Vagifem so that the tissues can improve and then have another go with the Yes VM, it is very good. In the meantime, as your urine is causing stinging, Yes Oil Based would be a better bet as it would create a barrier against contact. Another thing that creates quite a good barrier is Hydromol ointment. Boots sell it in small tubs.
It can take quite a while to get things under control and to find a routine that works for you. With suitable treatment you will get there in the end. As CLKD often says, the body doesn't get where it is suddenly, so as oestrogen declines these things can jump out and bite us on the bum.
JP x