You moan away TC, it's all so flippin' frustrating!! Oh yes, the morning surges were horrible. I would start every day feeling really grim with a feeling of doom that I couldn't shake off
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Mentally I'm mostly OK now (I decided to see a counsellor at around the same time I started HRT as a two-pronged approach really and I still see her every few months or so). I still have a feeling in the back of my mind that everything is a bit precarious and it wouldn't take much to drop down a dark hole or set off anxiety. I have certainly retreated into myself and I was pretty heavily introverted to start with
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I've been on the 200 about six months now and the only thing I have had to show for it is also breast pain. I have a ton of cysts too. My breasts were really sore and lumpy, mainly cyclically, for years (since early 40s really) but it ramped up in peri. In fact, although my breasts had softened and shrunk a little, the cysts were still forming almost overnight at times. Have been down the 2 week referral for mammo/ultrasound route and everything is fine but hair-raising nonetheless. Every HRT change led to breast pain which subsided after a few weeks but moving up to 200 it took pretty much five months until it subsided (still comes back halfway through Utro phase though). The specialist suspects I may be at the maximum level of oestrogen that my breasts will tolerate but that makes no sense to me - surely it must've been higher than this when I was younger? Do give it some time 'though. You really do need to let the hormones settle and your flushes and breast pain may well subside too, given a few months.
Re: the progesterone. My GP was panicked about me using the 100 patches with only the standard 12 days X 200 dose of Utrogestan until my meno specialist reassured her that it wasn't a problem due to my low blood levels of oestrogen. I mean many women have much higher blood levels into the 600s or more with much lower dose patches and no one would bat an eyelid. She still has no worries at 2 x 100 patches as my blood levels are still pretty low. I do understand your concern, 'though.
I do hope you manage to achieve some kind of improvement soon TC as I totally understand the despair and the feeling that you have no quality of life. I feel the same even without the flushes and awful anxiety/depression so I can only imagine how grim it is for you. xx