Hi and welcome cinders 64
Problem 1: It is absolutely normal to feel “wound up and and short tempered†- all part of the delights that is the menopause. Great that you do Meditation but it can only help so much. I can really relate to how you feel and I spend so much time trying to control this horrible feeling - I go through days when I just want to scream at everyone and because I don't scream at everyone I'm a tight spring of tension. I do a lot of walking which is my best help - exercise is probably the best way to relieve things. Some find Valerian helpful, perhaps St John's Wort? I'm sure the GP would dish out anti depressants to you but I personally don't think they are the best option unless you have true depression.
Problem 2 - as Birdy has said, what you need is local oestrogen which isn't absorbed systemically so shouldn't be risky for you. Your GP might want to check with you cancer specialist but Vagiem or Ovestin could really help. Great you are using SYLK - I love that stuff - try using it more often. To help with sex, I use Durex Perfect Glide
If you do think you have a bit of BV or thrush, then do try using Multi Gyn Actigel - this is great stuff that helps to restore the natural flora balance which treats and prevents BV and thrush - I use it a couple of times a week as a preventative and if I feel sore or itchy (sometimes with a dodgy smell) I use it 2-3 times a day for 2-4 days. I don't use the nozzle, I just put a good dollop on the end of my finger and push this up inside the vagina and around the outside - it does sting a bit at first but it is then soothing. You can buy Multi Gyn Actigel online.
I tend to avoid thrush and other harsh treatments as they can actually make things worse.
Keep us posted. DG x