The female doctor I go to has had 3 strikes.
1, not realising Progesterone in 2nd part of pill cycle was causing torso rash. I deduced it from discussions on here. I was right.
2 after continual problem of tiredness and no muscle energy I was very upset I was struggling to complete my miles for marathon training , I was getting less and less miles before no strength . Her answer, "I'd be happy just doing 6 miles , why don't you just stick to that." ( any runners will know how incredulous I was at that answer.) I was polite and thanked her for her help but was inside furious that I was to give up yet another part of my life. It motivated me more but I'm still struggling.
3. On discussion about symptoms , confusion , varying brain problems, fatigue, no muscle strength , stomach problems and loads more she said "it can't be all blamed on menopause" even though she and other doctors at surgery mention and recommend this website where I found all these symptoms listed !!!! (There was nothing after that comment, as if it didn't dawn on her that if that was the case then what was the reason for the symptoms ?)
I try not to discuss menopause out loud out with home . Bosses have been fantastic but it's limited to trying to be empathetic by mentioning thier wives have hot flushes but it's the only thing I don't get. I dont broach the subject other than admitting that was the cuse of my increasing stupidity , as embarassing for me and them. They kindly now don't give me responsible jobs and read out stuff to me as I know subconsciously they can't trust me to do a job right. It's not thier fault . I Now feel like a failure and an idiot. My confidence is lost
Now I get fed up with the subject as it and vaginal dryness (mortifying advert with Jenny Eclair) are apparently the only menopause symptoms . If this site didn't exist I don't know what I would have done. There is no other place where others will immediately recognise that I'm n a black place because of my hormones or lack of.
I'm on hrt and I don't want antidepressants any more as they just make me feel like I don't care about the fact that I don't care. The gps answer to everything.
Past few days is a little cycle of mood highs and big lows . It's either inward as in failure, stupid , what's the point, stuck myself in place and life can't escape from, no future just getting old ,infirm ,death, or it's outward , with these feelings but irritability and can't be bothered with anything . I try to keep a lid on it as I see myself being like this , it feels right and wrong at the same time, you know at some level it's you that's the problem but it's way out of control . I just don't speak. It's better , then I just don't want to. I do nothing. My husband's faults become more prevalent , I say nothing or try to , somewhere I still love him but I'm on a boat in the middle of a lake with no oars and he's on the shore looking at me with a puzzled expression . Sometimes I want to get back to shore , sometimes I don't care that I'm adrift.
My apologies for this but it's the only place to say what's in my head , all encompassing and anyone would fully comprehend what I mean.
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Topic: When depressed becomes normal (Read 1761 times)