Funnell - I agree with AgathaC - I found when a friend ended his Life 2 years ago that MIND Charity were really helpful. I found out when and where the walk-in centres were and surprisingly, the lady running our local Branch kept in contact via e-mail for several months. I didn't need to visit but the support was helpful.
I have taken appropriate anti-depressant medication since 1988. Accepting that I need daily treatment for Life was difficult but once I realised that DH and I have a Life together, it did become easier. Anti-anxiety medication is essential for me.
What support are you getting with regards your partner's illness? I believe that there is a 1-off payment available via Macmillan for people who may require it, perhaps contact them to see what support they give? Talking can help as it clears the brain. Add menopause upheaval to that mix and one can feel bogged down. You have enough insight to realise that it wouldn't help your partner right now for you not to be here as well as your estranged son feeling at fault. That situation won't help your mental health either.
As for HRT and breast problems. What problems exactly? I had breast disease and have localised HRT for vaginal atrophy, I couldn't have lived with the razor blades
up there. Also, that bus might catch me tomorrow so the breast disease wouldn't happen. As well as finding out that many ladies are having un-necessary treatments when a lump is found, rather than a watch and wait.