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[vonmorris]

Hi peeps
i'm 43 and just feel like I have stepped on a landmine and now need help retrieving the pieces to put myself back together! 
At the moment I am still kicking myself for my lack of education concerning the menopause, may be I would have recognized the symptoms when they started a couple of years ago, and saved myself a whole world of troubles.
Thank god my doctor (male and dishy  ) pointed me in this direction otherwise I would not have the metal detector needed to make sure I didn't step on any more mines and of course to get myself educated.
I will keep this short as my menopausal brain took 45 minutes to work out how to post this to start with lol 

[CLKD]

  you'll fit right in 

Most of us have a lack of education regarding The Change.  Browse round.  Make notes.  Maybe keep a mood/symptom/food diary to chart progress.  Ask, ask, ask ..........

Which symptom would you like to ease first?   I'm happy to share your GP ;-) but mine has done OK by me so far for the last 30 years.

We have a funny room too ;-) and do read the threads on vaginal atrophy - forewarned is forearmed!

[jaypo]

Totally agree with clkd,none of us knew what was heading our way,each of us with varying degrees of similar symptoms.it is indeed a minefield but you just carry on,hoping you don't step on anything more.
Took you 45 minutes?well done,took me about 3 weeks 😂
Dishy drs are great until it's time to get up close and personal 😳

[CLKD]

Medical Professionals have seen it all B4 

I knew about The Change as the finishing of monthly periods.  It wasn't talked about.  I was aware that ladies of a certain age had red necks and faces .......... and certain ladies grew facial hair 

[jillydoll]

Hi Vonmorris.
Don't beat yourself up anymore.
All I knew was that I'd get sweats, and be a bit moody, and my periods would stop.
Oh yeah, right!!!! What an understatement that is!
No one tells you anything.
Don't  worry, you're in the right place now..... anything you want to know, just ask away,
someone will always try and answer your questions.

 

[Kathleen]

Hello vonmorris and welcome to the forum.

Yep, for some of us the menopause feels like a bomb has gone off.  At times I  feel totally normal, pretty good even and then, for absolutely no reason I change into a flushing, quivering emotional wreck. 

There's no need to be embarrassed about your lack of information. I was forty nine when my GP asked if I was having any hot flushes or night sweats and I had no idea what he was talking about! I hadn't given the menopause any thought at all. When he said he would prescribe HRT if necessary I said that I may never have any problems so might not need it! Boy have I eaten my words since lol.

Btw after this discussion I bought a book on the subject and was astounded to see the effects that our changing hormones can have on our minds and bodies. I still have the book and often refer to it, infact there is one paragraph in particular that describes my experiences exactly.

Well done to your GP for telling you about this forum. The ladies here are a mine of information and you will never struggle alone now you are here.

Take care and keep posting.

K.

[vonmorris]

thank you
I guess as with most i'm stuck in a vicious circle at the moment, my doctor has prescribed HRT which having read most of the advice is a good idea, and hopefully relieve some of the symptoms I am having.
I didn't realize that I had been having hot flushes as they didn't happen very often once or twice a week and always figured it was because the bath was too hot or had been running around at work, similarly I blamed poor concentration, memory, motivation and mood on life! Yes I had muscle and joint ache and knew it wasn't like me but never got round to asking the questions although I did go for a blood and thyroid test as was feeling shocking and they said I had an infection so took it as read (different doctor to mine now hands off!).
This last year I have had GI issues and finally after investigation it was diagnosed as erosive gastritis (phew!) and as I was waiting for my endoscopy I started getting relentless day and night sweats 30-40 min in day and 20-30 in the night which i still have. I never had any variations with my periods so missing 1 was a bit of a shock.
I know HRT is probably the best way to help with "the sweats" but unfortunately it plays a large part in my vicious circle as I have never been a great sleeper anyway and now don't even want to go to bed because I wake up all the time feeling gross and disgusting! Then cry, lots.
Is there anything I can try in the meantime, as my new bedding , borrowed fan, face spritz, diet etc are great but i am literally going out of my mind (don't worry have a CBT assessment tomorrow) and at least I won't put on weight as the gastritis is still an issue 
What can I try alongside HRT?
Is it worth trying some over the counter stuff to help me sleep or will the night sweats wake me up regardless?

[jaypo]

The sweats through the night are a pain but I'm so used to them now, I basically throw duvet off until the fan freezes me half to death,then duvet back on,there are some really good herbal sleeping pills but you'll find that the ones you have to ask for (behind the counter) are stronger,or an anti histamine,sleepy ones obviously will make you drowsy

[CLKD]

It's The Change and takes it's time.  Throwing up many issues that most of us are totally unaware of   

Do you keep a mood/food/symptom diary?

[Ketchworth15]

Welcome fellow newbie!  I also took forever to work this messaging thingy out and am impressed you can do the smiley/tearful faces as am still working on that.  For once am not going to ask my teenage sons (cue eye rolling) to help out.  How lovely to have a dishy doctor you like; at my local surgery in Scotland I have a choice of a really nice woman my age (excellent) or ancient grumpy Dr Finlay-type in tweed jacket. You can guess which one I prefer . . .

[CLKD]

The Dr Finlay type then  - that dates us .........

Smilies are easy: cursor on one of them above or in the [more] box and hey presto.  It's this one that took the time 

[Lanzalover]

Good morning vonmorris


 
I thought you periods would stop you'd get a few hot flushes and that would be it.
Boy was I wrong but I can't understand why it isn't discussed more so we are prepared and can at least recognise the some of weird symptoms as being connected to the menopause.
Then again if GPs cann't draw up dots what hope have we got.


That's what so good about this site there's always someone able to offer support and advice.


Lanzalover x

[vonmorris]

welcome to the freak show! now featuring the hot/cold weido woman......VonmorrisWell at least sussed the moving line thingy lol.

Now I guess that I should not have been surprised that my male friends have come up with a accumulator game and randomly phone me throughout the day to see if I am hot cold or in transition. They won't admit it but they are checking up on me (sweet or what).

I don't have any female friends my age, or female family members to talk to so am still struggling to deal with all of this, but it's amazing how much men actually know! Don't tell them that though.

I am a little backward in coming forward sometimes and am especially finding the concentration, memory and mood thing super scary, I pretty much lost my job through it as a GM for a Hotel/Bar/Restaurant, but if I had known would it have made any difference, what are you going to say to a boss sorry going through a natural process cut me some slack?

I can't believe hormones and a natural process could make me so miserable. My hubby booked a last minute surprise ski trip to cheer me up and for my birthday, the only thing is I can't drink,  I don't want to be around people, I feel dirty and embarrassed, and now feel I have to enjoy myself as I ruined his birthday recently due to gastritis fml too much all at once 

[CLKD]

You don't have to mix.  That's what others expect, why conform when your DH has booked a break?  It's surely about being together.  At least you'll get to roll in the snow when flushing  .

Where's he booked you into?  Does it mean flying?  When ........ I rarely mix when we are on holiday, enjoy a day out then into a warm bath and TV on in the bed . 

See - you're getting the hang of this
 

[vonmorris]

omg hadn't got past the house yet!
We're going today Austria, quick coping strategies for busy airports and flights need to find a smaller spritz bottle arghhh thanks for that.
Just had a thought though skiing is a sweaty sport anyway and everyone has red faces as it is a bit chilly, may be my hubby is a genius, no may be not he forgot the limo and private jet