Hi MM, I'm cheered up a bit by your account of things improving since last year, cos I sorely need some hope that things will improve.
Right now I'm pretty near rock bottom - over the last 2 years, since sudden chemotherapy menopause, I've gone from being a confident outgoing creative person to a nervous wreck, suffering from acute morning anxiety, withdrawing more and more from the world as it all feels increasingly scary and too much pressure, and getting more and more depressed as a result. I can't take anti-depressants or any other anti-anxiety drugs (super-sensitive), so I'm stuck trying to cope when every day feels like a nightmare and I just desperately want an approximation of my old self back.
So far hormonal treatments aren't helping - I've been on Evorel 100 for about a year, plus like you trying and failing to get through Utrogestan 8 - 10 days a month. The specialist I saw a few weeks ago recommended upping the estrogen to 150 and then 200, and ditching the progesterone altogether, so that we can see whether that's what's causing the problem and if it is then it may be hysterectomy time.
In 3 months I think I'd just like to feel like I was making some progress, that a solution was out there that would give me at least some of my quality of life back, even if not back to the way I used to be. That I could think about going out without immediately getting that scrunch of fear in my stomach, that I could wake up each morning knowing that I'm not going to feel this bad forever. And that I could remember what it feels like to be happy every now and then, even if just for a few fleeting moments.