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[mg1]

Hi everyone. I've only just found this website and I'm so glad. You are such a wealth of info and experiences that I've been really wanting.  I've been clueless about menopause - my periods never really came back after I had my son at 41 (I'm 49 now) and I mentioned this a few times to GPs etc, who sent me for various tests, but nobody (including me) ever really followed up. I spent eight years laid low with utter exhaustion, muscle weakness, weight gain, irritability, melancholia, and generally a total loos of any mojo, all of which I thought was 'just motherhood'; because I thought menopause meant hot flushes, and I never had anything like that. Most of my friends are the mothers of my child's school friends and they're all 10+ years younger than me, so none of them are experiencing the same things as I am.

I found this site because I was searching for ways to get testosterone prescribed - from what I've read, it really seems like what I need. I was very disappointed to see that everyone here says you have to be on HRT before you get testosterone. I am so reluctant to start HRT, due to having terrible reactions to the birth control pill (insane crushing depression) and, because my mother got breast cancer from HRT.

I told my (generallly useless) GP to refer me to a menopause clinic, and I have an appointment in February at the Chelsea and Westminster one. I'm going to see what they think, and in the meantime keep trying to learn more about treatment, probably by spending lots of time on here.

[jaypo]

Hi mg,welcome,yes it's a fab site & has been a real help to me,just knowing you're not going insane.all the ladies here have been wonderful & have a wealth of experience & advice
Nice to have you onboard xx

[CLKD]

Maybe keep a mood/food/symptom diary to take to your appt.

Read the treatment green info above.

Did your Mum die from HRT-related cancer?  Maybe if you are able, speak to her Consultant or ask to see her Medical Records.  That way HRT need not be a 'no' as you can avoid anything that might trigger disease in yourself.

Do read the threads about vaginal atrophy.  This is treated with localised HRT and is essential to many of u.

Blood tests are reliably unreliable  but can give a small idea as to where you are. 

[Kathleen]

Hello mg and welcome to the forum.

Well I can guarantee that you have come to the right place for information and support!

The menopause can affect us in many different ways but all we ever hear about are hot flushes and night sweats. Certainly for me they were my least troublesome symptoms however  I seem to have the complete set of emotional problems.

I hope your appointment goes well and please keep us updated.

Take care.

K.

[sheila99]

Welcome mg1. I was the same. Similar symptoms, mostly regular periods & lack of hot flushes. I didn't twig either, neither did 2 GPs. I wouldn't worry too much about your bad reaction to birth control, it doesn't mean you won't find an HRT that suits you. The risk of BC is also much less with transdermal rather than oral oestrogen. I hope your appointment goes well. If they think the risk is too great for HRT I wonder if they will prescribe only T. Have you read the 'advice or husbands' pinned post? There may be other symptoms you hadn't asociated with meno.

[mg1]

Hello everyone. Thanks so much for your replies and your warm welcome, and your advice. I have a lot to learn, that's for sure.

My mom had radiation treatment and is weakened and feeling quite down, but ok for now, and being very closely monitored. The breast cancer was recorded as being a result of the HRT.

best wishes,
mg

[Ladybt28]

Hi mg1 and welcome to our world!  The good thing is - Nick Panay who gets written about a fair bit here and he has a massive private practice too runs the Chelsea and Westminster Meno clinic.  He is a previous chair of the Menopause Society so your are definitely in probably the best place you could go on the NHS - not that I have any experience of it.  If I was being sent there I would expect it to be good but you never can tell I suppose.  I hope it goes well for you.

As CLKD says take a check list with you and as loads of questions and dont be frightened to pipe up!

Let us know what it was like...

[mg1]

Hello again. Thanks everyone for your comments and support - it's great. I'm still waiting for my appointment at C&W - having first been referred in November 2018, and given an appointment for mid-February, which ws cancelled by phone the day before it was scheduled. I've got one for June 2019, now.

EIGHT months after being referred.

I mean, I know the nhs is struggling, but SHEESH

I'm thinking of asking for a sabbatical from work as it's not going well. My team is in disarray because of my ineptitude. Unfortunately I can't take a sabbatical from parenting, which is also in disarray.

[Ladybt28]

Chelsea and Westminster is a very busy clinic it doesn't surprise me that it is a long wait mg1 but I believe it will be worth it by all accounts.  A sabbatical from work - now that sounds nice, I'm self employed though so no sabbatical for me!   If you think that's what you need to do then arrange it, don't feel guilty (you may not but I know a lot of us do) I think we all feel so rotten for so long and somehow convince ourselves it is our fault that we don't do the things we should to look after ourselves.  You could guarantee a man wouldn't think twice if they were in our situations.

You may find the parenting "disarray" gets more under control if you were not feeling out of control at work too?

[mg1]

Thanks everyone for your friendliness and support. I wanted to post an update on my attempts to be seen at the Panay clinic at Chelsea and Westminster.  After a few months of appointments for bloodwork, I was finally given an appointment to discuss the results; unfortunately, after waiting 50 minutes in the waiting room to be called for my appointment, I had to leave without being seen as I had to get my son from school. I rescheduled the appointment, both arriving early and making sure that I had a full hour available to wait after the scheduled time of my appointment... unfortunately this time they were running 90 minutes late. Again, I had childcare responsibilities, but managed to get my son's dad to collect him so that I could stay long enough to be seen (appointment at 3.20, called in at ten to five).

But after all this, the consultant concluded that I'm not even in menopause at all. My lack of periods, low levels of estrogen and testosterone, as well as incipient osteoporosis and other hormonal deficiencies, brain fog and memory loss are probably caused by a pituitary problem. So I am now awaiting a referral to an endocrinology clinic, which will take another few months - having first started this process in November 2018....

I am taking unpaid leave from work from next week until early September, as I am just not up to it.

I suppose that means I'm leaving MM, and I hope that I can find an endocrine forum as nice and intelligent as all of you! I have enjoyed lurking all over this place, and the community has been great. Thank you so much.

[jaypo]

You waited how long?wow,I've never experienced that length of time in a waiting room before.At least you have got to the crux of the matter & can start treatment accordingly 😊 you don't have to go just coz you're not menopausal,the ladies are still here for you regardless ❤️

[Foxylady]

mg1 - probably pituitary?? The reason for the question marks is I had 3 years of symptoms told blood tests for menopause (I was convinced that was causing my symptoms) were 100% reliable by GP, Immunologist & Endocrinologist. Had a load of investigations done for weird and unusual conditions, trials of different medications & only once discharged by Immunology & totally lost/frustrated and desperate I went back to the GP to be greeted by a lovely trainee GP who actually listened to me, I cried talking to her it was such a relief. From then on another GP (trainee left) has been fantastic, although he admits he doesn't know much about the menopuase (I prefer honesty) he always contacts the local menopause consultant who emails him back the same day, he then phones me with a plan. I have also been fortunate enough to see a menopause consultant from London this week who also believes it is menopause that has been/is causing my symptoms. I am now 41yrs of age and I think my age contributed to menopause being so readily discounted aswell as my ignorance in relation to the menopause (much better educated in relation to it now, have had to be!!). All the best mg1 & I hope you get to the bottom of it so you can get treatment & feel better. x