Hi Dee,
I know we have communicated before when both you and I were trialling HRT.
I actually gave up this spring, after a major breakdown (insomnia, panick attacks, shaky, not myself). After being on Femoston 2/10 for almost 3 years, then I tried 50mcg patch and Utrogestan vaginally for 12 day/month. This didn't work. I got so bad depression on the Utrogestan that I just stopped. Tried patch and dydrogesterone ( same as in Femoston) but no significant improvement. I guess I was looking at a quick fix and HRT, sadly, does not provide such - at least not while you are peri-meno as you hormones fluctuate so much on top of HRT.
At scans my edrometrium measured thick. I gave up on HRT until - this is what I think - I am really low on estrogen and my periods are way further apart. Now I have skipped a month or so, and my last bleed was 45 days from the previous one, and very very light.. I have concluded I still produce some estrogen, sometimes too much, really, and I don't want to top that up. My boobs frequently swell, I have gained some weight, I have mucus around ovulation. Clear signs that estrogen at this point is not needed.
Instead, I was started at a very low dose of Mirtazapine in August. I know this is a atypical AD and not the first line to treat symptoms - but! From day 1 I stopped shaking. I slept 10 hrs straight! I wake up and am able to go on with my day. I couldn't achieve this with any type of HRT I tried. I plan to stay with mirt (15mg/night) for as much as I need to.
No side effects except slight sleepiness in the am during the first week. And yes, I gained 2 kg for 3 months but anxiety and nausea had made me too thin so that was welcomed. Mirt stopped the early morning nausea, and surprisingly, the night sweats . I may be not going in the right direction but this coping strategy works for me for now. I so hope it will continue to!
I hope you will be able to find your own balance. Don't discard all treatments that are available out there. It took me months to accept that I need help with a medication that will allow me to function. I am so cautious about meds in general - I read everything, I compare and look for possible interractions, I am so bad at this. But needs first! It was either decide to take something or my family would have gotten awol.
I hope I am helpful! Big hugs from me !
Milamam