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[racjen]

Not sure whether to feel livid or really upset - received a copy of the assessment report sent by the Community Mental Health Team Psychiatrist to my GP, which is in response to all the awful anxiety and depressive stuff I've had since chemo menopause including numerous call-outs of Crisis Team etc. Despite previous confirmation from Dr. Sarah Gray, who's a respected menopause expert, and from a psychiatrist and senior mental health worker on the Crisis Team, that my problems are to do with the menopause and so not strictly mental health, thus guy knows better. Incredibly patronising tone, everything I said in the interview about the hormonal issues is either in inverted commas or phrased as 'Rachel believes that' or similar. He completely ignored what I said very clearly about the anxiety being incredibly intense first thing in the morning and then tailing off around lunchtime, and makes a comment that I seem very pleasant (relevant how?) and don't appear to be anxious - the interview was at 2pm...

LOTS of emphasis on previous mental health issues (eating disorder as a teenager in direct response to my dad's sudden death, so not really relevant) and the almost identical episode of anxiety when I was perimenopausal - never ever suffered anxiety before that, but according to him I have 'significant background anxious/avoidant personality traits which have been  present since my teenage years'. Term psychosomatic used at one point as well. I AM LIVID - this guy has completely ignored the menopausal issue, probably has little or no experience of it and just thinks he knows it all. TBH I just want to tell him and the whole Community Mental Health Team to fuck off (apologies to anyone who objects to bad language) but I suspect I might be cutting off my nose to spite my face...

[Charys]

Racjen,

I don't know what to say - I feel gutted for you! I honestly, honestly do. Nobody ever thinks that the person inside themselves knows what the problem is, he didn't listen, he made a judgement. I also KNOW that my issues are hormonal, just as you do, - you've only got to look at my post-natal HORMONAL psychosis and the reaction I had to tamoxifen hormone therapy. I know myself, and know I am having problems now because of hormonal changes. I've had 18 years with no issues at all prior to this. Nobody ever seems to give credit to the intelligent person suffering to KNOW themselves. My surgeon did, she took me off tamoxifen ! I believe you, and clearly others do too that you've listed here.

Now, back to you - the trouble is his assessement will no doubt impact on the 'treatment' he perceives as being the right one. How can you progress on it ? Back to your GP, ask to see another psychi? I don't know.....others may have ideas....

[Perinowpost]

Bloody ‘experts'! Did you ever see the program where psychiatrists had to identify those with mental health out of a group of people and got it wrong? Only you know how you feel and why. Don't let the ‘bastards' grind you down Racjen. Hormones are precursors to moods and just because that is only now being recognised doesn't make it any less relevant. Swear if you want, but don't give up being sensitive to hormones is not a crime x

[Snoooze]

I can understand your frustration.

When my daughter was 11 she saw a Psychologist and when I received the report she sent to my GP, it had a load of crap in it. Little things I had mentioned about our family and things about my husband she had totally misinterpreted. I had to hide the letter from my husband as I knew he would not be pleased.

As for the treatment my daughter was given. Well she got two sessions where the Psychologist spoke about herself more than my daughters problems. It was a complete waste of time and as an anxiety sufferer it's what put me off ever going for CBT as most people I know who have had it, it didn't do anything for their anxiety.

[racjen]

Thanks lovelies, luckily I already have an appointment at Poole Menopause clinic next month so it's not going to affect that (the NHS isnt that joined up thank god!) But I feel I want to write a comprehensive reply to this insulting ignorant report, which will after all remain in my medical records, and also give this ignorant twat some pointers as to where he might look for an education in menopausal mental health (this website for starters).

[Charys]

Ha ha ! You are so right about the 'non joined up' NHS, pros and cons and this one is a big PRO for you.

I had a falling out with mental health services and made a complaint before I even got there earlier this summer. (Never did end up going there!) They messed up appointments, one person would ring, then another, information was different every single time and it went on like this for weeks. THEN they rang and got 'a man' (who happened to be my husband) and proceeded to tell him a few details about who they were and why they were calling. They didn't know the situation, and if I was seeing them because of home abuse etc. I let them know they had broken rules of confidentiality and so on...and then didn't trust them.

[jaypo]

Grrrrr every bloody time,women get patronised by these so called experts. I don't blame you for being livid.They always have to dig deep into the early years but hands up who's the same person as they were 30 odd years ago?
I've never suffered anxiety but I KNOW it's down to menopause, I don't need to be told by some mental health “expert” in a patronising way,there there dear,you had a dreadful childhood.........aaaaaarghhhhhh

[racjen]

Yeah and what makes it even more insulting is that I've spent years in therapy, at my own expense, sorting out the trauma of my early bereavement, and as a result I have a pretty high level of self-awareness. And I'd started training as a psychotherapist just before my cancer diagnosis, so that all had to be put on hold. But it means I have a very sensitive bullshit detector and I know that a lot of these hastily trained 'mental health practitioners' really have very little idea of what they're doing. Psychiatrists on the other hand are, on the whole, just arrogant shits....

[Kathleen]

Hello racjen.

I'm so sorry that you've had this extra frustration, as if you haven't got enough going on.

  My menopause anxiety feels so different from any anxiety I've had before that surely it emanates from a different place.  We have a complicated reproductive system and it has a profound impact.  Someone once asked me if my childhood experiences had made me an anxious person and there probably is some truth in that but my childhood experiences also made me the calm and capable person that I was until  eight years ago when my ovaries started to shrivel!

I hope you soon get some resolution to all of this so hang in there and sending hugs.

Wishing you well.

K.

[AgathaC]

Ugh. Ugh. Ugh.
I can think of loads of things that I would want to do and say to him in response.

[racjen]

Ha, you and me both! 

[Ladybt28]

Useless waste of space is what I have to say... he's a bloke anyway and not a very intelligent one at that but  - I don't actually know how so many health professionals, both men and women I have encountered, can get away with being so ignorant of the world but anyway that doesn't help you racjen.  I pray that the meno clinic in Poole will help, by the way my daughter didn't know the consultant you mentioned she is asking her colleagues.  Sorry I haven't got back to you but she works shifts is difficult to get hold of and I suppose she has to be on the same shift with the relevant colleagues to ask - all a question of timing which isn't quick..sorry.

To be honest I think that as you have gone through this experience you have become clearer and clearer about what "it" is and what "it" isnt.  You have come across (well to me anyway) stronger and stronger in yourself so I think the mental health team are bugger all use to you  (I've had dealings with them regarding my husband and my son but that is a mega long story and I think they are bugger all use to anyone - all talk - no action or common sense anyway... )  In fact I woud go so far as to say - stay away from them they are upping and contributing to your stress,  your anxiety and desperation and they provide no support to you whatsoever and personally I dont think you would be cutting off your nose to spite your face - but stepping back from them for a while would definitely be more beneficial than engaging and allowing them to drag you down to their uneducated level!!  From what you have written here through the weeks, you have definitely become more knowlegeable than them on your own health so go with your gut...trust your instincts and hang on in there until next month.

Write on here, lean on us and we will do what we can to reassure you that you do know your own mind.  Be assured you are no alone because there are loads of threads here called "losing my mind" - "going mad" "stupid women" etc etc.  It really does feel like you are going mad - I've been there but your most definitely not going made and to be honest you are stronger than you think!! 

[CLKD]

I for one have a HATRED of the word 'expert' in any capacity.  Every day is a learning curve.  As long as we learn to listen.  I think humans are too judgemental so we don't take on board the actuality of the situation.

Sadly Psychiatrists often have no empathy.  I met several across the board from 'therapists', psychologists and psychiatrist that had no idea how real Life impacts because they hadn't 'been there'.  I could tel on3 therapist which page she was on and could end the paragraphs that she was quoting.  "If this worked would I be sitting here?" as I walked out!!  If self-help books did, self-help, there would be no need for 'experts'.

We are expert in our bodies.  But those we take them to have very little knowledge about how we feel when we get the various conditions that the body can suffer from. 

Our medical and social history does form who we are.  Which is why I know how I feel and when my body is out of sync.  Eventually I refused to tell counsellors about my past and 'took it from today - this is what is causing the phobia and what will you do to stop it?' 

Do send a copy to Dr Gray and let us know how you get on!

[racjen]

That's a good idea CLKD, hadn't thought of that, thanks xxx

[Mustard1]

Racjen - on all posts from you you are rational, clear and concise.  You know who you are and your body and know this us definitely hormone related.  There are numerous similar stories out there including Diane Danzebrink.  Print her story which featured recently - go to Menopause Supprt.com and take that to your  meno appt and show them the article and say how you know you are having similar symptoms.  Ignore the physiatrists they will always focus
on what they know and believe and they are closed minded when it comes to other reasoning. Dr Craig has written articles on this - he is a psychiatrist but started life as a gynaecologist.  Good luck, stick to your guns. You are a great lady and as you know your posts have been helpful to me and others. You will get the right help soon. J x